Page 13 of Search My Soul
The men loved her, and the women wanted to be her. My whole life, my mother drilled it into my head that men only wanted skinny women. Kamesha had a little meat on her body, but most of it was courtesy of her surgeon. She was actually one of the first girls in our neighborhood to get a BBL, along with her breasts done.
The diner wasn’t as crowded as it normally was, so we only had a fifteen-minute wait to get our food. Everything smelled delicious, and I couldn’t wait to dive in.
“Hey! There go my favorite boys!” I turned to see who Ms. Pat was talking to. That’s when I saw it was the Taylor boys, Pure and Soul, along with a few men I usually saw them hanging out with. I used to have the biggest crush on Pure, but he wore a permanent mug on his face. Soul was fine as hell too, but his mouth was a completely different demon. I already knew I couldnever be with someone like him. He didn’t care what came out of his mouth, and I could see myself cussing his ass out.
Besides, the bitches flocked to him and his family members like flies to shit. I had witnessed multiple fights over those men, and they would simply sit back and watch. I would never let a man have me in public making a fool of myself.
“Damn, do you hear that?” Kamesha’s voice broke me out of my trance.
“Hear what?”
“The train, sis. Baby, if you put me in a room with any of those men, I promise I would fold like fresh laundry. It doesn’t make any sense how fine they are. I don’t believe in homie hopping, but does it even count if they are all in the same family?” I snickered at her failed attempt to rationalize her crazy thoughts.
“Girl, they are blood related. I highly doubt they are into sharing bitches, but I could be wrong though.”
“Let me stop playing. They look like the type to have me fighting in the street, and you know I’m a bougie bitch. You won’t catch me with my lace front on the ground.”
“You ain’t lying. I remember when Tiny and Aries were fighting over Chosen. Aries snatched the wig off the other girl and had her standing in the middle of the street, barefoot, with her wig cap exposed. They both had busted lips, and their clothes were torn. I thought for sure they would leave that man alone until I saw all three of them at the mall together. I don’t ever want that kind of dick in my life. I would be in jail if someone ever tried to play with me like that.” When it came to men like them, a lot of women would gladly throw their morals and self-worth in the dumpster for the chance to have a man with money.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it came with its perks. I just didn’t believe any man was worth the embarrassment. I’d only allowedone man to play me, and I vowed never to let it happen again. I used these men for what they were good for and moved around. I had no desire to be anyone’s girl or kept bitch. The main chicks suffered the most, and the side chicks got the crumbs. I had no desire to be either.
“I should have ordered a to-go plate. I’m gonna be good and hungover when I wake up later.”
“That’s why I asked for the extra biscuits and honey. I need some bread to soak up all of this liquor. Lucky for me, I don’t have to work until the evening, so I will be able to sleep in,” I replied.
“Let me go put my order in while the line is low.” Kamesha slid out of the booth and then sashayed her way to the front counter. I heard the men at the next table call out to her, and I would bet my last dollar that she was eating the attention up. They sounded drunk and belligerent, which was never a good sign. Some men could get a little disrespectful when they were under the influence.
My phone rang, so I stepped out to answer it. I made sure to send Kamesha a text to let her know where I was. My eyebrows furrowed when I saw the name that flashed across my screen. My father called me every now and then, but never this late. When I scrolled through my notifications, I noticed eight other missed calls from him. My heart dropped as I waited for the line to connect.
“H-Hello?” I held the phone tightly, waiting for someone to speak on the other end.
“Neeya, this is your mother calling. Your father has been rushed to Grant Hospital. You need to get here right now!” My mouth hung open in disbelief. How could she drop a bomb like that and then hang up the phone? I swear that lady’s existence plagued me daily. I hadn’t seen her since I dropped Riya and West off, and I still owed her an ass whupping for being a triflingparent. As much as I loved my father, I hated the way he always made excuses for her. Everyone did.
My family would preach about how you only got one mother and how I needed to forgive her. Meanwhile, she didn’t believe there was anything to be forgiven for. If you let her tell it, I was ungrateful and entitled. Entitled from what I’d never know. However, that was the narrative she painted about me. I never bothered to tell my side because nothing would change.
When I was seventeen, she kicked me out of the house claiming that I was disrespectful and that I put my hands on her. Of course, no one bothered to listen to me, so I was out on the streets with no support. My father was in prison at the time so there wasn’t anything he could do. Plus, my mother was the one who put money on his books, so he wasn’t about to bite the hand that fed him.
“Aye, are you good?” I heard a deep voice question from behind me. I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn’t pay it any mind because my main concern was getting to my father.
“Are you deaf, dumb, or on that shit? You don’t hear me talking to you?” This time, I turned to give him a piece of my mind. Only no words came out once I realized who it was. Soul Taylor. Damn, he seemed to get finer and finer each time I laid eyes on him.
“You don’t have to be so fucking rude.” I scoffed.
“Well, you were standing out here pacing like a mass shooter. I had to make sure you weren’t out here plotting on the diner. They have the best cheesy grits in the city,” he joked, showing his pearly white teeth. Everything about this man screamed perfection with minimum effort on his part.
“Who the hell eats savory grits? You’re supposed to eat them with butter and sugar,” I sassed. I’d had this debate with way more people than I cared to admit.
“See, now I’m convinced you must be a little touched in the mind because sugar does not belong in grits. You must have been one of those kids who ate Play-Doh and Elmer’s Glue straight from the containers,” he jested, causing me to giggle involuntarily. I always wondered what he and Murk had in common, but now I knew. Neither of them had any sense.
“I don’t have time for your bullshit right now.” I rushed back into the diner to find Kamesha. When I walked inside, I saw her sitting on some man’s lap. His hands roamed her thigh, but she seemed to be enjoying his touch. I walked up and tapped her on the shoulder.
“Hey, are you ready to go? I need to get home right away,” I stated.
“Girl, what’s the rush? Don’t you see all these fine men sitting here? Why don’t you join us and loosen up a bit?” she slurred. We had been drinking, but I didn’t recall her being this wasted. She took a sip from the glass in front of her, and I wondered what was in it. On the outside, it appeared to be some type of juice, but the way Kamesha was behaving made me think it may have been something else.
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You said you wanted to go home after you ordered your food. Why don’t we grab our things and head back to the car? I’m sure the driver is ready to get home too.” I insisted. There was a funny feeling in my gut, and I wanted to get away from these men as soon as possible. One of them was burning a hole through me with how intensely he was staring. We made eye contact, and I shivered in fear. Darkness surrounded him. His eyes were black, and his aura screamed danger.
“You heard the lady. She wants to stay right where she is. Why don’t you have a seat and grab yourself a drink? My boys don’t bite. Unless you’re into that kind of thing.” The mystery man Kamesha was sitting on spoke up.
