Page 29 of Search My Soul
“Well, I’m glad we were able to come up with the money in time. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” My face twisted in disgust as she fawned all over him. Then there were the comments she made regarding the money. My father barely contributed a thousand dollars, and she gave nothing. The fact that she could sit here and try to take credit for something she had no part in baffled me. I wanted to say something, but I also didn’t want to cause a ruckus in the hospital. Riya was my first priority even if our parents were a bunch of self-centered imbeciles.
“Good afternoon, everyone, I’m Dr. Tasmith. I wanted to come in and give you a few updates on Ms. Carter’s condition. As you know, we have run a series of toxicology screenings to determine what kind of drugs were in her system. Here are the documents, and they have everything broken down.
“It appears she had a mixture of narcotics in her system, including heroin. We are going to be treating her for possible withdrawal symptoms. Now, with that being said, we do recommend you take a look at some of the treatment facilities we have listed in the pamphlet we provided you. As a family, it is imperative that you rally behind her and encourage her to get the help she needs. We see a lot of patients her age, but there is still hope if you act sooner rather than later.”
I wanted to tell him that my sister didn’t have a drug problem, but due to the nature of the situation, I couldn’t. I was starting to regret not calling the police because all of this had gotten out of hand. After he finished giving us a run down of the next steps, he exited the room. An awkward silence loomed over us, but it was for the best. I had nothing good to say to either of them.
“And where the hell were you when they were beating your father to a bloody pulp? You could have at least tried to defend him. What the hell were you even doing there in the first place?” I bit my tongue so hard it began to bleed. I had let my mother get away with a lot of things, but this was too much for me.
“You’ve got a lot of opinions for a bitch who did absolutely nothing to save her own daughter. I’m the one who risked my life to get the money to save them both. What did you do? What did you contribute? Huh? Outside of running your mouth and making excuses for your husband. You mean to tell me that you couldn’t call on any of those men you’re fucking to help you save your child? Your pussy must be trash.”
“Hey, now. Sweet pea, I think?—”
“No, Daddy. I love you to death, but I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. You made a selfish and dumb ass decision that could have brought tragedy to this entire family. I don’t care that they beat you up because, quite frankly, you deserved it.”
“You listen here, you little bitch! I always knew you would turn out to be evil. I saw it the moment you came home from the hospital.” Rochelle seethed. It stung a little, but it was nothing worse than what I’ve heard most of my life. My mother made her hatred for me abundantly clear.
“Well, I learned from the best. You are a selfish, evil bitch, and trust me, I hate being your daughter as much as you hate being my mother. I wish you had taken your ass to the clinic because being raised by you was far worse than death. The only reason I still come around is because of my siblings, but I’m beginning to think you don’t need to raise them yourself.”
“Alright now, sweet pea. I understand emotions are running high, but there is no need to be so nasty. Yes, I messed up, but we’re all human. Your mother has held things down for our family during my stints in prison, and even though we weren’t perfect, we always provided for you all.” I chuckled angrily in response to his delusions.
“Oh, you think it was Mommy who was taking care of the family while you were locked up? Well, since this will probably be the last time this family is all together, maybe we should lay it all on the table? Huh?” My eyes shot over to Rochelle, who was shifting in her chair. The nerve of the devil to be nervous after all of the hell she caused.
“W-What do you mean? Rochelle, what is she talking about?”
“Your daughter is dramatic and likes to embellish things. I don’t know what she’s referring to, baby.” I tilted my head, taking enjoyment in watching her squirm.
“Why don’t you tell your husband who was really paying the bills whenever he went to prison. Let him know who was responsible for him having money on his books and new shoes. ’Cause it damn sure wasn’t you.” She sat there with her head hung low, but that wasn’t enough for me. After the hell she had caused me, she had a lot of nerve to sit here acting innocent.
“Oh, okay. Well, since your wife seems to have lost her voice, then I’ll go ahead and tell you. The money she used to pay for your bills and ours was collected from me. She pimped me out to the men in the church and some of the dealers in the neighborhood in order to keep her pockets laced and her addiction fed. Your wife never worked a single job while you were locked up. Instead, she collected all of the government checks she could and blew her money on drugs and nights out with her friends while we sat in the house hungry and alone.
“I’m the one who kept this family together and made sure we had a roof over our heads while you and your sorry ass wife lived your lives as if being a parent was optional. I’m the one who was taken advantage of night after night so that you could have commissary. Then when I refused to do it anymore, she kicked me out of the house, and you never once came for me.” I swiped the tears from my face because neither of them were worth it. As much as I loved my father, he failed me for the last time. I was tired of coming to their rescue while being my mother’s personal punching bag.
My father turned in his seat with a glare on his face. Of course, Rochelle put on her acting hat, with her eyes full of forced tears.
“I-I don’t understand. Is that true, Rochelle?” My chest heaved up and down as I watched her to see what excuse she would use to cover up her sins. Instead, she gave me the shock of my life when she nodded her head.
“Yeah, it’s true. I did what I thought was necessary to keep our heads above water. I had two other children to consider, and she needed to earn her keep. Most of the girls her age were fucking, so I didn’t see anything wrong with profiting from it. My mother did the same to me as a kid, and I’m a better woman for it. Besides, no one would want to lie with a disgusting slob like her voluntarily, so I was doing her a favor.”
All sense of reason left my mind as I lunged toward her. I could no longer sit back and allow her to disrespect me. She never gave a damn about me, and I was done trying to keep the peace between us. We tussled with one another until I got her on the ground. I had never once put my hands on my mother, but in that moment, she was nothing more than a bitch off the street. My father yelled for me to stop, but due to his injuries, he couldn’t do anything to stop me.
My mother screamed, but I ignored her the same way she ignored me all those nights I cried. My anger grew more intense as the memories of her shoving her fingers down my throat flooded my mind. I couldn’t name a single good memory I had with her because there weren’t any. There was never a moment when I thought she cared about me. I was always the burden. The imperfect daughter she was unfortunately saddled with.
“Hey! What’s going on in here?” A deep voice sounded off. The next thing I knew, I was being pulled off my mother while she lay on the ground, covering her face. My father explained what happened and, of course, he placed all the blame on me. In that moment, I decided to cut the two of them out of my life permanently.
“You need to leave now before we call the police and have you arrested,” the guard informed me. Emotionally I was drained, so I didn’t even care about anything. Then I remembered that I had committed enough crimes this week and didn’t need to add a mugshot to my list of things to do.
The sound of someone groaning caught my attention, and when I turned around, I saw Riya with tears in her eyes. I was so caught up with arguing with my parents, I never realized she was awake.
“Can I say goodbye to my little sister first?” The guard shifted his focus between me and my mother before nodding his head.
“Make it quick. I’ll be escorting you out of here.” I headed over to her bedside and held her hand in mine. I could hear the guard and another worker talking to my mother to make sure she was all right. Personally, I wish I had done more damage. I’ve never hated a person as much as I hated Rochelle, and I don’t believe any amount of counseling or prayer would be able to repair our relationship.
“I’m sorry for doing all of that in front of you. I got a little carried away.”
“Thank you for rescuing me.” Her voice was strained and raspy, making it difficult to hear her clearly.
“I’ll always come for you. I don’t know the details of what you’ve gone through, but I promise I’ll always be here to protect you. When you’re better, I want you to come live with me.”
