Page 41 of Search My Soul
“I-I don’t care about anything you have going on. All you did was prove my point. Niggas will chase you down and still be fucking with twenty other hoes.
“Naw, that’s not what this is. You keep tryna place me in a category with all the men you’ve encountered, but you can’t. I’m not a mothafucka that can be boxed in. There isn’t another nigga like me, Juicy. You think I’m pressing you this hard because of some pussy? You saw firsthand pussy is available to me on demand. I don’t have to put in any effort to get it either. If I only wanted to fuck, I would have made it clear. The problem is that you know if you let me in, I’m gonna get more than you intended to give.”
I felt seen, and it made me uncomfortable.
“You don’t know me,” I deflected.
“Naw, that’s where you’re wrong. I can see right through you. You and I are very similar. I don’t believe in letting peoplein either. You’re not running from me because you’re afraid I’ll hurt you. You’re running because you know that you’re gonna fall for me. I can see it in your eyes and in your body language. You’re used to keeping people at arm’s length because it’s safe. Ain’t shit safe about me, but I’m not about to play witcha heart either.”
“Why are you trying to make this something more than what it is? You might be able to read me, but I can see you too. I’m trying to avoid the inevitable. If we get together and shit goes bad, like I know it will, our friend group will be affected. Tycen and Murk are your friends, but they are married to my friends. My girls don’t play about me, and I don’t want to bring any unnecessary drama to our group of friends.”
“Do you hear how stupid that shit sounds? I’m a grown ass man. I fuck with them niggas the long way, but I don’t give a damn about what they have going on in their personal relationships, and the feeling is mutual. Besides, your excuses are bogus as fuck. Now either you’re gonna lay it all on the table, or we’re gonna keep playing these childish ass games.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I’m a greedy ass nigga. I want all or nothing.”
“How do you even know if you’re ready for that?”
“I guess you’ll have to trust me and see.” Soul shrugged his shoulders as if his answer made all the sense in the world.
“Fine, but I’m telling you now if you hurt me, I’m gonna make you pay. I’m not one of those girls who leave with their tail tucked. I’ll fuck all of your shit up and take a selfie after I do it. I’m the friend my girls call when they want to jump a nigga or throw bricks through his window.” I meant every word I said. When my feelings were hurt, anger was the only emotion that resonated with me.
“It’s cool. As long as you know it’s mutual. I love a good war.” Soul stepped even closer until we were chest to chest. Themoment his lips pressed up against mine, my shoulders dropped in surrender. He forced his tongue into my mouth while his hands roamed my body. I moaned as my senses went into a frenzy, then suddenly he pulled away. My lips were tingling as I stood there in shock.
“What the hell was that?”
“My bad. My paranoia kicked in. We need to take this inside before I get caught slipping out here.” I laughed even though it was clear he meant it.
“Who said you were coming in?” I challenged, knowing I wanted nothing more than for him to fuck me until I fell asleep. Soul raised his eyebrow to let me know he wasn’t buying it.
“Baby, please stop the madness. You and I both know you want this dick. Plus, you aren’t gonna let me out of your sight after I made those calls.” He wasn’t lying, and I still was unsettled by how willing those broads were to open their legs to a man who showed no interest in them.
“Yeah, you can laugh all you want, but the minute a bitch comes at me sideways behind you, I’m beating her ass and then yours,” I warned, pointing my finger in his face. He took my finger into his mouth and sucked on it. His tongue swirled over my digit, and my body grew weak. My pussy throbbed as his hand reached for my throat. My hand dropped to my side as I found myself caught up in his aura.
“You’re gonna realize what type of nigga you have soon enough. You aren’t running shit over here, but I’ll let you make it because you aren’t used to someone like me. Now get your ass in this house so I can take my frustrations out on that pussy.” I shuddered under his gaze, almost forgetting where we were. This man was slowly infiltrating his way into my life, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. At this point, I didn’t even want to.
“Hey, Soul.”I heard someone call my name as I walked into Journeys in the mall. My niece’s birthday party was in a few hours, and I still had a few more things to grab for her. My baby was spoiled rotten, and I played a major role in it. Since I had no plans to ever have children, she would be my only baby.
“Do I know you?” I continued to sift through the racks. Romi made me fully aware of her favorite colors as well as the colors she hated. Luckily for her, the store had an abundance of pink.
“Umm, yeah. We went to junior prom together back in high school. We were named prom king and queen. Do you really not remember me?” This time I took a moment to observe her. She was a pretty girl, but it looked like life had beaten her ass and hadn’t turned her loose yet.
“Naw, I don’t. To be honest, I was high out of my mind for most of those years.” It wasn’t a complete lie. After my parents were killed, I spiraled out of control. Since my father was involved in the drug game, it wasn’t hard to gain access to any substance I wanted. Weed relaxed me, but it wasn’t strong enough to erase the pain in my heart or the nightmares that came whenever I closed my eyes at night. It took me years to overcome my addiction to pills, and I’ll admit there were a few times when I almost fell off the wagon. However, I refused to fail and fuck up everything I’ve built for myself.
“Oh well. I’m Raven. It’s nice to see you again. I come to a lot of the events you and your family put on, but there is usually a sea of people surrounding you.” I stared at her awkwardly. I’ll admit that my social skills weren’t the best, but things like this only made it worse.
“Alright, well, you take care of yourself.” I grabbed a few more outfits and then headed to the register. I’d already purchased her a few designer fits as well as a custom necklace and bracelet set from one of my favorite jewelers, but Romi loved this girlie ass store. Every time we came to the mall, I spent a bag on her in this place. My phone rang as I headed to the register, so I answered it while placing the items on the counter.
“Uncle Soul!” Of course, her little self would be on my line while I’m shopping for her.
“What’s up, Roro?”
“Are you coming to my party? You didn’t RSVP.” I handed the cashier my card after she read off the total.
“Have I ever missed one of your birthdays before, silly girl?”
“Well, yes. Remember that one time you were in college?” Damn, she got me there.
