Page 53 of Search My Soul
“Cane, I’mma send your ass to the uppah room with Peter and nem if you don’t delete that picture out ya phone. You don’t want to test me like that.” They already knew how I gave it up, so it was best to go ahead and do what I asked.
“Man, you ain’t no fun. Ol’ bully ass nigga.” I watched the two of them unlock their phones and delete the photos.
“Yeah, yeah. This one is off limits, and I’ll forget we share blood if you play with this one. Y’all have a good night though.” I escorted Neeya into the house and brought her into the family room. Whenever we were around each other, my hands had a mind of their own. She sat in my lap as I gripped and squeezed her body for comfort.
“Are you having fun?”
“Hell yeah. Your body is like a stress ball for me. My anxiety has been on ten since I got here, but I tried to push through it,” I admitted, surprising myself because I normally kept my feelings to myself. She must have picked up on it because she shifted on my lap so that she could see my face.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this? Even if you didn’t want me to come, I would have been able to anticipate your needs better. I noticed your energy shift earlier this week, that’s why I kept asking if we were good. You made me think you were tired of me because you’ve been so distant lately.” Guilt plagued me because I hadn’t even thought about it. Normally, I isolated myself from everyone when it came to this time of year because my temper wasn’t the best. I could feel myself slipping into a depressive episode and everything pissed me off. Pure sent me a message on Monday to keep my kills to a minimum because he knew how I got. Honestly, I’ve been under my woman so tough, I hadn’t been interested in anything else.
“I never mentioned it, because I know you would have been watching me like a hawk and trying to make sure I’m straight.”
“And what’s wrong with that? Is that not my job as your woman?” Her question stumped me because she made a valid point. Rather than responding right away, I kissed the back of her hand that was interlocked with mine. “Talk to me, baby. You’ve got me feeling some type of way right now. You asked for us to be official, but you’re not treating me like I’m yours.”
“I don’t know how to let people be there for me. I’m usually the one who has to be there for everyone else, and to be honest, I prefer it that way. All that emotional shit is for the birds, and I don’t need to be babied,” I uttered. I ran my tongue across my teeth as I felt my emotions trying to get the best of me. Neeya leaned forward and cupped my face in her hands.
“I see you, Soul. When your heart is unsettled, I can feel it, and it makes me anxious. You said it yourself that we’re connected on a deeper level, which means I know when you’re not right inside. You don’t have to hide or be strong for me. I already know that my man is the toughest gangsta around. However, when it’s just you and me, I want you to be able to take off all of your armor and be your raw self. You already gave me your heart, so let me take care of it.” My jaw flexed as I lost the battle I’d been trying to win. The tears fell, and it pissed me off because I couldn’t control them.
She wiped my tears and then pressed her forehead against mine. My arms wrapped around her waist, and for once, I let myself be vulnerable. After a few moments, Neeya moved her head and began raining kisses all over my face. I shifted as my dick grew hard. For a moment, I forgot where we were because all I saw was her.
“You know you’re stuck with me for life, right?” I smirked while she observed me.
“Naw, lil daddy, it’s you who is stuck. If you think for one second I’m gonna let another bitch get what belongs to me, I feel bad for the both of you.”
“What you tryna say? You gon’ fuck me up if I move on to somebody else?”
“Oh, I’m not gonna hurt you, baby. I’mma say a prayer and send you right up to your parents.”
“Bae, what the fuck?” Her dark humor was just what I needed to get back in the right headspace.
“I’m sorry. I was triggered for a minute, but I needed you to know how serious I am.” The fire in her eyes whenever she staked her claim on me only solidified the love I held in my heart for her. Neeya was it for me, and although we joked a lot, I couldn’t see myself fucking this up.
“You ain’t gotta threaten me, baby. The devil himself couldn’t pull me away from your ass.” Gripping her head, I fed her my tongue. The sound of her moans only fueled me to go harder, and the next thing I knew, we were in a full-on make out session.
“Ahem. Sorry for interrupting.” I cut my eyes in annoyance when I heard my brother’s condescending tone. Pure stood there, stone-faced, with his eyes bouncing between the two of us. I haven’t introduced Neeya to anyone in my family, but it wasn’t for the reasons she probably believed.
“Of course, you would come at the worst time. What can I do for you, bossman?” He hated it when I called him that, so I made sure to do it whenever the spirit led me to.
“Nana wants all of us to take a photo. The rest of the family is out there with the photographer,” he replied dryly.
“All right, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Don’t take all day. You know I don’t like all this shit.” Pure scoffed.
“You can’t rush me, mothafucka. This is your family too. If I gotta suffer, so do you.” I shrugged, tapping Neeya on her thighs, signaling for her to get up. Her nervous energy kicked in, and I couldn’t help but smirk. She talked a lot of big girl shit, but meeting the family had a way of humbling you.
“My brother wasn’t born with manners, so I apologize on his behalf. I did my best to raise him to the best of my ability. My name is Pure, and you are?” Pure wasn’t big on physical touch, so it didn’t surprise me when his hands remained in his pockets. It was one of his quirks, but we were used to it.
“I’m Neeya, but you can call me?—”
“Neeya. He can call you Neeya. He isn’t special, so there’s no need for nicknames and all that friendly shit,” I interjected.
“Soul, why are you acting this way? He’s your brother.”
“I don’t give a damn who he is. The only name he needs is the one ya bald headed momma gave you when the doctor slapped you on the ass.”
“Ignorant ass nigga,” Pure uttered while shaking his head.
