Page 54 of Search My Soul
“I learned from the best, ain’t that right, Papa Pure?” I winked, then grabbed her hand as we headed outside. Someone was staring a hole through me because I could feel heat coming from somewhere. I kept my eyes up as I headed to where the rest of the family was.
Before I made it to my destination, Neeya pulled her hand away from me. I looked over to see what was going on.
“Why’d you let my hand go?”
“You were headed over there to take your family pictures, so I was going to go over there with my girls.” She pointed to where Normandee and Puma sat.
“Damn, you just gon’ leave me hanging like that?”
“Baby, I’m not going anywhere. Go handle your business, and I’ll be right over there.” She stood on her tiptoes with her lips poked out. It irritated me that this was all it took to calm me down.
“Yeah, all right. You tell them to enjoy their time with you because it’s gonna be real short. You came for me, not them.”
“You sound like a spoiled kid. My sisters aren’t worried about you. Now, hurry up because that lady over there looks like she’sready to cuss both of us out, and I just got here. I don’t want to make a bad impression before I even meet them.”
“Man, fuck them. I don’t give a damn how anyone feels. I’ll walk right out of here if they try you.” I kissed her once more before heading over to the rest of the family.
“It’s about time.” Dreamier fussed. I flipped him off before getting in place. Pure and I were the tallest ones in the family, so we always ended up in the back. The photographer provided us with a few instructions before he began snapping photos. After the third position change, I was over it, and the grumbles from my brothers let me know I wasn’t the only one.
“All right. Mrs. Taylor would like to take a photo with her grandsons,” the photographer instructed. My nana looked amazing in her gown. I used to hear stories about how she and Poppa used to hold court in the streets. They were the urban Bonnie and Clyde of their time, with a jail record to match. One of the photographer’s assistants brought a chair for Nana to sit in while we stood behind her like her protectors. That’s exactly what we were.
Once we wrapped up with the photos, everyone dispersed, but Nana asked Pure and me to stay behind. I wondered what it was she wanted to talk about while silently praying it wasn’t about my parents. She took a moment to examine us, reaching out to fix the position of Pure’s tie and my handkerchief.
“When your father and uncles were born, I was so upset because I wanted girls. You can ask your great aunt, Aretha. I threw a fit every time the doctors told me it was a boy because I wanted someone I could dress up and play in their hair. I remember complaining about how I wanted a little girl, and one of my good friends checked me. She said the love of a son is the strongest, most unconditional love you’ll ever experience.
“Of course, I wasn’t tryna hear none of that shit because I wanted to wear matching dresses with my mini me. When yourgrandfather went to prison on a gun charge, I was devastated. What the hell was I supposed to do with three boys on my own? Then I found out I was pregnant with your aunt, and I could barely even celebrate finally having a girl.
“I cried for the first week, barely wanting to get out of bed. When I finally came to, I realized how blessed I truly was. Your father stepped up at the age of twelve and took care of the house. He got his brothers up every morning and walked them to school. He helped around the house and comforted his brothers when they missed their father.
“He was always the quiet one, but his presence was powerful. When he grew up, things remained the same. He made an impact on so many without having to speak very many words. There was always a fire inside of him that I admired. No matter how difficult the situation was, it never stopped him. He was determined to conquer every obstacle set before him. My other sons swore your grandfather and I favored him, but it wasn’t like that at all. He was just… unique. When people saw him, they gave him respect without him having to instill fear in them.
“It was the reason your grandfather felt confident to bring him into the organization, and just as we thought, he climbed the ranks without having to use our family name. The connects were impressed with him so much that they refused to deal with anyone besides your father and grandfather. I probably sound like I’m rambling, but there’s a reason I’m telling you this. The same fire your father carried, I see inside of both of you. Pure, you are quiet, but powerful. You don’t have to speak in order for people to give you respect because they can see that you are someone deserving of honor. You are a leader in the business and within this family.
“Soul, you are so smart. You possess a keen business sense, enabling you to see things that others may overlook. You’re an observer, just like your father. When your spirit doesn’t connectwith someone, you keep them at a distance until you can figure them out. You’re also fearless. You go into every situation with confidence, and it’s the reason why you continue to win. The two of you are a powerful mixture of your father, even though you possess different parts of him.
“Your grandfather and I are getting older, and our health is declining day by day. I’m not telling you to scare you. However, I want you to understand how vital the two of you are to this family. I want to die with peace in my heart, knowing my family isn’t going to fall apart at the seams when I leave here.”
“Come on, Nana. You know we don’t like?—”
“I don’t give a damn what you don’t like. It’s the reality of life. Do you think I wanted to watch two of my children be lowered into the ground before me? Life is unfair, but death is a guarantee. I don’t ask for much, but I need you to promise me that you will keep this family together, not only in the business, but also at home. You two will be the ones everyone looks to when we are gone. I need you to assure me that you will continue to make us proud in death as you have in life.”
These were the conversations I dreaded the most. It was too much to think about, and I refused to allow my mind to even think of it. As far as I was concerned, they were both going to outlive us all.
“You have to understand where we’re coming from, Nana. We have already lost our parents, and while we’re not ignorant of the fact that y’all are aging, it doesn’t make these talks easier. We love you, and we’re gonna do what needs to be done. However, you can’t expect us not to react,” Pure explained. I knew without a doubt I would be leaving after this, because this discussion ruined my mood.
“I know it’s hard, but these talks are necessary. We have a legacy to maintain, and there will be no room for tears and sadness. You already know what your grandfather would say.”
“Chin up, guns out. Ain’t no time for no weak shit,” Pure and I both recited simultaneously.
“That’s right. I trust you and I believe you can handle it. For now, I want to enjoy my days with my family, making memories.”
“Why are you making it sound like you’re about to die tomorrow?”
“No man knows the hour or the day, Grandson. Like I told you before, I want to plan everything so there are no misunderstandings about what I want.”
“We understand. We love you, Nana.”
“I love you too. Now, introduce me to this girl you’ve brought with you. I never thought I would see the day when you brought someone home. I might actually get some great-grandchildren from you after all,” she teased, causing my face to frown.
