Page 56 of Search My Soul
“You are being dramatic. I don’t know. I was afraid you guys would judge me for moving so quickly. I might play the tough girl act, but I’m a lover girl at heart.”
“Well, the feelings are mutual, because I have never seen Soul so smitten. He’s been calling Murk for relationship advice for weeks.” Her revelation made me blush, but I tried not to read too much into it. Things with Soul were still new, and he was a highly sought-after man. Even though I was falling headfirst into this thing, I still had my reservations.
“So, are you in love?” Normi asked as she poured another glass of wine. “I mean, you must be for you to move into his place.” We were at her house sitting by the pool while the kids played around.
“Yes, I am. Soul is nothing like I thought he was.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought he was an arrogant hoe, but I had him all wrong. For one, he’s incredibly smart. I never knew that he had multiple degrees, and he owns his own businesses. He’s also considerate. Most men only care about fucking, but when we’re together, we do so much more than that. He’s affectionate and sweet. Soul does things for me that no other man has. Eventhough he doesn’t like expressing himself, he makes sure I know how he feels about me daily. The man can sing, too, which completely caught me off guard.” Just thinking about him made my stomach do somersaults. I tried to keep it cool, but I found myself growing more attached to him each day.
“Are you over here blushing, bitch?” Puma teased while I hid my face with my wine glass.
“This is such a monumental moment because I’ve never seen you react this way. I can’t believe our girl has finally found love!” Mandee shouted, causing me to smile even harder.
“Y’all. I don’t know how this happened. It’s something about being in his presence that brings me so much peace. He makes me feel like a young girl in love. I’m constantly laughing or smiling whenever he’s around or when he calls me. It scares the hell out of me,” I admitted. I’ve never fallen this fast and hard for a person, and I’ll admit there was a part of me that wanted to run as far as I could.
“Aww, I love this side of you. I get what you mean. You saw the way I laced up my shoes and ran for the hills when I fell for Tycen. That man was everything I never thought I could have in a man, and it terrified me. I’ll tell you the same thing I told Puma when she fell for Murk. Don’t allow your past or fears to stop you from finding love. Even if it is temporary, enjoy the relationship for what it is. You never know what may come out of it.” I took in Normandee’s words and tried to find comfort in them. My history with men has taught me that they weren’t reliable, so I settled for what they were good at. Now, I questioned whether I could really build a bond with someone, and it made me anxious.
“Normi is right. When Murk told me he wanted to make things official, I expected him to drag me like I’ve seen most men do. However, he was the complete opposite of what I anticipated. The way he loves me, I can’t even put into words. What I can say is that I’ve never felt safer. Even when he gets onmy nerves, I get so excited when I hear my man coming through those doors.
“I don’t even have to tell him what I need. Some days, I’ll wake up in a bad mood and then he’ll walk into the room with a bowl of cereal and some flowers on a tray, and all I can do is laugh. Murk gets me. He accepts me with all of my flaws and imperfections.
“Now, I won’t say he doesn’t make mistakes that have me ready to push him down some stairs, but he loves me. I used to think all men were cheaters, but either Murk is the exception or he’s a damn magician. I’ve never had a woman come to me about my man, and even when I used to check his phone, he would let me. I have the passwords and passcodes to every device he owns, but I trust him.
“I can tell Soul has a good heart. He might be a little crazy, but I agree with Mandee. Give him a chance to show you what he’s made of.” Puma also made some good points. I’ve seen the way Tycen and Murk loved my girls, and it gave me hope that I might have a love like theirs one day.
My phone rang, and I instantly lit up when I noticed Soul’s name flash across the screen.
“Hey.”
“What’s up, baby? Where you at?” From his background, I could tell he was in the car. I wanted to ask where he was going but decided not to press him.
“I’m at Tycen and Normandee’s house. We’re sitting by the pool.” I panned the camera to my bikini and blushed when I saw his reaction. The way Soul looked at me made me feel like the prettiest girl in the world. It wasn’t in a lustful way either, more like admiration.
“All right, bet. I’m about to pull up on you.” My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at him through the screen.
“What do you mean? I thought you were working all day?”
“You do know I’m the boss, right? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Besides, I’m only coming for one thing.” Now, I was really confused because I knew damn well he wasn’t talking about sex.
“Get your mind right. I wasn’t talking about that. I forgot to get my kiss before I left this morning. My day has been off ever since, so I need to come get my kiss.”
Normandee and Puma both snickered and squealed when he said that, while I couldn’t contain the butterflies in my stomach. This man was driving me crazy. I don’t even think he realized the kind of monster he was unlocking inside of me.
“You’re gonna drive out here just so you can kiss me?”
“Hell yeah. I gotta reset my day, and you’re the only person who can do that for me. I’ll be there in a little bit.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you soon.” Soul winked at me before disconnecting the call. The words I love you were on the tip of my tongue, but I held them in. There was no way I was about to embarrass myself by saying it prematurely. However, my heart was somewhere floating on a cloud right now.
“Oh, friend. That man has it bad for you,” Puma blurted.
“Don’t start.”
“I can’t believe he said he’s coming over here for a kiss. I guess we need to start planning a wedding here soon,” Puma teased.
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I’ve fallen hard. I get sad every time we’re apart. Ugh, how did this happen?” I whined. My intrusive thoughts were getting the best of me, and I wondered if the two of us were moving too fast.
