Page 58 of Search My Soul
“No the hell I don’t. What I look like calling another nigga sexy? Ain’t nobody as fine as me.”
“Yeah, whatever, pretty boy.”
“Pretty boy? Your man uses your edge brush to slick his baby hairs down, and I’m the pretty boy?” I held my stomach as I laughed from my gut.
“You’re a damn lie! I can’t even take you seriously right now.” Puma and Soul continued to argue like brother and sister. Eventually, we all ended up back in the house with the kids. Tycen came home and decided to put some meat on the grill since it was a nice day out. Soul left to run his errands, but he came back later to pick me up. We stayed for a while longer andenjoyed the night with our friends. I loved the fact that everyone was so close because we didn’t have to worry about energies not meshing.
“I heard your ass was talking shit about me earlier,” Murk declared as the men sat around the card table they had set up.
“And did. What the fuck are you gonna do about it, Pretty Ricky?” Soul shot back.
“I know you’re not talking. Weren’t you the same mothafucka who was wearing those infinity scarves around your neck in high school? Don’t think I didn’t see those pictures at your grandparents’ house. Looking like a young Fonzworth Bentley.”
“Fuck you. I was pulling all the hoes with those scarves, bitch.”
“Murk, you can’t say shit because you were walking the halls with that jerry curl like ol’ dude fromComing to America,” Tycen interjected.
“Aww, hell no. I need to see that shit!”
“Tycen, I’ll flip this whole table over and beat yo’ ass if you show those pictures. There’s some shit you’re supposed to take to the grave,” Murk warned as Tycen searched through his phone. The moment he handed the phone to Soul, the table erupted with laughter.
“Yo! He looked like that dude fromThe Wood. Mackin’ and Hangin’ ass nigga,” Soul roared in amusement. My stomach hurt so bad from laughing. The three of them together was a guaranteed comedy show.
“Oh, you’re coldblooded. I thought we were brothers, but I see how it is. Normi, you want to see your man in high school? He was walking around with the Jamaican flag tied around his head with his straight backs. I used to call his ass lil Wayne junior.”
“Man, come on,” Tycen grumbled.
“Naw, don’t complain now. You started this war, and now it’s on,” Murk declared.
“Y’all got me over here crying real tears.” Puma wiped her face as Tycen and Murk went toe-to-toe, showing pictures from their past. We laughed for an hour straight until Soul pulled me away. I followed him as he led me to the backyard. He took a seat on the kid’s swing set, pulling me down onto his lap. The air was much cooler now that the sun had set, and I could see the stars making their appearance in the sky.
We rocked back and forth on the swing with one of his arms wrapped around me. Every so often, he would place a kiss on the side of my face or neck. Physical touch was a major love language for me, so I ate the attention right on up. I loved the fact that we could sit in silence and still have a good time. There was no pressure or awkwardness with us. When I was around him, I felt like I’d known him for years.
“All of this is new for me. I may not be as expressive as I should be when it comes to my feelings. It’s something I’m working on, though, because I want you to know how I feel.” These were the moments that gave me butterflies when I was with him. Soul was a wild, arrogant, dominating force to the outside world, but this version was so different. He was warm, passionate, and affectionate. He was grounded, and he cared about the people around him. I could tell him how I felt about something and have confidence that he would listen to me and truly take my concerns into account. Of course, there were moments when he was everything I thought he was, but I loved all of the layers he possessed.
“Words are good, but you show how much you care with your actions. I appreciate your efforts.”
Soul unlocked a soft side I never knew I possessed. A part of me expected him to be some playboy juggling a new bitch every week. My biggest reservation was getting into a seriousrelationship with him, only to end up heartbroken and fighting bitches in the street. Instead, he helped me rebuild my credit and even got me started thinking of my long-term goals.
“I spoke to Natalie, and we have an appointment on Monday to check out some properties.” I meant to tell him earlier, but it slipped my mind.
“Why do I hear a ‘but’ in your statement? What’s on your mind, baby?” I hated the way he read me like a book. Even when I tried to hold back, he would see right through it.
“I don’t know. It seems like such a huge investment. She never asked me what my price range was, and I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with something too expensive for me. I thought about applying for a business loan, but is this something I should be doing?”
I used to dance when I was a young girl. It was my dream to become a prima ballerina; however, those dreams were crushed when my father went to prison. We could no longer afford to keep me in those classes. Rochelle had other plans for me, and she wouldn’t allow my dreams to get in the way of what she wanted. It was one of the reasons I decided to try my hand at stripping. It was nowhere close to Juilliard or Broadway dancing, but it allowed me to get lost in the music and express myself. From eighteen to twenty-one, I took both contemporary dance and hip-hop classes whenever I had spare time.
When I told Soul about it, he asked me why I hadn’t opened my dance studio. I didn’t have a valid answer. I guess I wasn’t sure if it would be worth it. The only thing I was well known for was dancing in the club, and I couldn’t imagine a parent being okay with their little girl being taught by a stripper. He kept bringing it up to me for a couple of months, but I was still hesitant about it. After a while, he grew tired of asking me and set up a meeting with a realtor to view properties.
“You don’t need to worry about any of those things. I’ve already given her the budget as well as your must-haves. All you need to do is show up and see which ones you like. I’ll handle everything else.” I shifted in his lap so I could look him in the eyes.
“You don’t need to do that. I appreciate you for pushing me to take this step, but I’m not expecting you to fund my dreams.”
“See, that’s where you’ve got it all wrong. I’m not funding your dreams. I’m investing in something I believe in. You can consider me a silent partner, if it sounds better. You’ll have all of the creative and administrative control, and I’ll sign the checks. I can have my lawyer write up a contract for you to make things more official, if it would make you feel better.”
“I see you’ve got this all figured out, huh?”
“It depends on how you look at it. I can tell this means something to you, but I also know you’re the type of person who doesn’t believe you deserve good things. As your man, it’s my job to remind you that you deserve it all. Why would I allow you to sleep on your dreams if I have the means to make them happen?”
