Page 64 of Search My Soul
“And do. Now get to talking while I fold the rest of these onesies.” Her bossy ass propped up her phone while she sorted through a tiny pink laundry basket. I went ahead and explained what was going on because she was right. We always ended the day by telling each other what had happened throughout the day. I kept the dangerous side of my street business hidden from her, but I would fill her in on the day-to-day drama I dealt with.
She listened intently as I explained what happened with Pooh. I appreciated the fact that she allowed me to express myself, and she never brushed me off. In my family, men weren’t supposed to vent or express their feelings. It was our job to find a solution and move forward. Being in this relationship showed me more than I ever expected. While Duke was my best friendin male form, I appreciated the friendship Juicy and I had developed.
“Well, you were right to step in. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, and these young boys act like they can’t take no for an answer. Nowadays, women are killed after they leave a relationship, and it’s so scary. I hope she has a good support system because it sounds like he doesn’t care about a restraining order.”
“Yeah, it’s wild out here. These men don’t have any shame at all. I wish a bitch would reject me, I would forget all about her by the next business day. That’s some weak shit,” I vented. I’ve never been in the business of chasing someone who made it clear they didn’t want me. Granted, I’ve never gotten rejected before, but I still wouldn’t try to force myself to be with someone who didn’t want me.
“So if I break up with you, you’ll let me go with no pushback?” she asked. My brows dipped as I peeled my eyes away from traffic to look at her face on the screen.
“Baby girl, our situation is completely different. If I fucked up, you would have every right to leave. However, I don’t have any intentions of fucking up. I ain’t no cheating ass nigga, and I damn sure don’t beat on women. Now, if you really wanted to leave and move on with someone else, I would let you go.” Her brows raised as she glanced at me skeptically.
“Really? Just like that? You would let me go?”
“Of course. I’m not an unreasonable man. If you want to leave, I would respect your decision. Your happiness means more to me than anything, so if I ain’t giving you what you need, then I’ll have no choice.”
“And you would be okay with me moving on with someone else?” This time her arms were crossed as she gave me the “yeah right” look.
“I would allow you to do whatever makes you happy. If that means dating another man, then I would accept it. Then I would make sure to send you a beautiful floral arrangement when he mysteriously turned up dead.” It got quiet on her end of the phone, so I glanced over to see what she was doing.
“Baby, why would you say that? You can’t go around threatening to kill an innocent man.”
“I didn’t threaten anyone. I simply said that I would be there in your time of grief. Niggas die every day, so you can never be too sure.” I shrugged, knowing damn well that I meant what I said. Juicy and I were locked in, and I would never be comfortable living life without her by my side. I’m damn sure not going to let her move on with someone else.
“You are a mess, but I like it. At least you know what you stand to lose if you ever play with me. I’m not the type to stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve me. You should know that from the last situation. I might cry for a couple of days, but I’ll pop out like I was never in a relationship. I’m not the one or the two,” she stated with a hint of attitude in her tone.
“You think it’ll be that easy to get over me, Juicy?” She could talk all the shit she wanted, but I already knew how I would feel. We were connected on some real shit, and the kind of love we had for each other wouldn’t be easily erased.
“I wouldn’t say easy, but I would do what needed to be done. I love you with every fiber of my being, but I’ll walk right past your ass on the street and pretend we never knew one another.” My anger almost took over, and I had to remind myself this was a hypothetical situation.
“Yeah, I wish the fuck you would ever try to play with me like that. I’ve never been the type to crash out behind a woman, but I would fuck around and snatch your ass up and toss you in my trunk. I don’t even want to think about that shit because I already know how nutty I am behind you.”
“The sad part is that I know you aren’t joking. I used to think Murk was crazy, but my baby takes the cake. You got me damn near running away every time a man tries to talk to me because I’m tryna save their lives.”
“I’m glad you understand. Whatchu about to get into? I’m so used to your crusty ass feet scratching me in the morning, I missed you.” I loved fucking with her, but I wasn’t lying when I said I missed her. Between her working on her dance studio and my work schedule, we barely got to spend time together.
“I’m gonna go have drinks and appetizers with my girls, and then I’m going home so I can put on something sexy for my man.”
“You know I don’t care about that lingerie shit. You could be rocking one of those house dresses my nana wears and my dick gone be hard as a missile. Hell, I’m hard right now, and I’m salty that I have to meet with Pure’s stuffy ass. I should call him and tell him I got caught up with work or some shit. I’m not in the mood,” I grumbled. All I wanted was to go home and lay up with my woman, but since his ass was lonely and mean, he wanted to infringe on everybody else’s time.
“Oh, stop. You’ll be home before you know it. Besides, you being with him gives me time to get dinner started and spend time with my babies. I don’t have time for the three of you fighting for my attention.” She snickered. Rosco and Apollo have been acting real funny since Juicy moved in with us. They followed her around like some lost puppies. They only gave me a few seconds of attention when she was busy.
“Fuck them kids. Fur babies or not, those traitor ass dogs can go to hell. ’Cause how are they cuddling with my woman, in my bed, where I pay the bills?”
“Baby, please. Jealousy doesn’t look good on you at all. My boys love their momma. Don’t be a hater.” I loved hearing her giggle; it instantly put a smile on my face.
“I love their momma too. I’m telling you now, I’m putting them in their room tonight. I’m tryna do some real freaky shit, and I’m not tryna see Apollo’s nosy ass while I’m deep in the pussy. They gotta go.”
“Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Hurry up and finish your business so you can make it back home to me. I love you, Soulie.” I couldn’t stand that corny ass nickname, but Roro and Juicy could do whatever they wanted.
“I love you more, Juicy. I’ll be home soon.”
After I got to the bottom of Remi’s shooting, I planned to take her on another vacation. It still wasn’t sitting right that we hadn’t been able to catch the people involved, which made me think it might be an inside job. Remi was still in a coma, but the doctors were saying that he was healing and all of his results looked good. It was only a matter of time before he would be waking up. There was a chance he wouldn’t remember much, but I prayed for the best. I needed answers, and the longer we went without them, the more anxious I became. Someone tried to get over on me, and their death was the only thing that would make things right.
“I hopeyou can cook because if my brothers do nothing else, they eat.” Patience schooled me as I sat next to her at the hookah lounge. She invited me to a girls’ night with her and their other sister, Lovely. I was a little nervous since this was the first time I’ve met a man’s family. However, they were both really cool.
“I can do a little something in the kitchen, but I wouldn’t put me in charge of Thanksgiving. I can bring a dish or two though,” I quipped. I’ve been cooking more since we’ve been together because Soul preferred a home cooked meal and I wanted to cater to my man.
“I feel you, girl. I don’t know what my future husband is going to do. I can make the basics like fried chicken, pasta and I can make a mean salmon. Don’t ask me to make any yams ordressing because then I’ve gotta call my sister,” Lovely admitted. The two of us slapped hands in unity because I was still learning myself.
