Page 66 of Search My Soul
“Y’all are so lucky. I always wanted to have older siblings, especially brothers. I was always fighting growing up and never had anyone to defend me. I can tell you all are close and it kind of makes me jealous,” I admitted.
“It was definitely a blessing and a curse. Don’t get it twisted, we’ve had our moments like any family does, but we’re all we’ve got. I think losing our parents made us even closer because outside of our grandparents, we only had each other. We went through a lot of hell, so it was nice to have each other to leanon, but we are far from perfect. We have our own issues and dysfunction like everybody else.” Patience expressed.
“Speak for yourself, hoe. I’m as close to perfect as you can get.” Adore chimed in, making her sisters roll their eyes.
“Yeah, we’ll see how perfect you are after your brothers find out you’re not a virgin anymore.” Adore covered her face with her hands like a child who had been caught.
“Well, I’m not worried about Soul finding out because I told him that I was thinking about it. Pure is the one I’m afraid of. The man is a menace, and he has run off every single man I have ever liked. Zyaire seems like he’s up for the challenge, but I can’t guarantee my brothers are going to act right.”
“I used to feel the same way, but I’m grateful now. If any man can’t handle themselves with our brothers, they aren’t the kind of men we need to be dealing with. I want a man who isn’t afraid of anything or anyone.” Lovely made a valid point although I was curious about what kind of hell their brothers have raised to have them afraid to date.
Once the food arrived, we got even more comfortable. The music and the vibes at the lounge were everything and I was glad I came. We continued to talk about everything under the sun until someone caught my attention. I hadn’t laid eyes on Tone since the incident at his house, but he had been blowing my phone up trying to make things right.
He looked good as he always did, but I was more curious about the person he had next to him. I recognized her body anywhere because she constantly sent me pictures when she needed help picking out an outfit. While I was no longer interested in being with Tone, it struck me as odd that they were here together.
Instead of reacting right away, I decided to sit back and observe the scene. I watched the way the two of them interacted with one another and my anger began to ignite. Tone was freeto do what he wanted, but why her? They were escorted to their table, and it happened to be in a spot where their backs were facing me. They were accompanied with a group of people, but you could tell by their mannerisms that they were involved. The wheels in my mind began to spin as I thought about how this bitch had tried me again.
“You okay, boo? You seem like you zoned out on us for a moment,” Patience inquired with concern in her voice.
“Umm, yeah. I’m sorry. I was thinking about something. Plus, this hookah has me floating. I’m good though.” She eyed me curiously as if she didn’t believe me, so I made sure to smile widely.
“Yeah, your ass is lying through your teeth, but that’s okay. You’re gonna have to tell me eventually because one thing I don’t do is let shit go.”
I continued to vibe with them, deciding to deal with that situation later. After all, he wasn’t my man, and the last thing I wanted was to show my ass in front of Soul’s family, especially over someone who wasn’t their brother.
“I don’t know what they put in this drink, but I’m drunk as hell. These are the times when I wish I had a man so I can drunk text him,” Lovely blurted drunkenly. It was funny seeing her in her element because she always came across so serious at times.
“Girl, who are you telling? Liquor goes right to my coochie, and the next thing I know I’m doing God knows what with the nigga I swear I’m done with.” Patience chimed in.
“You can tell yourself that lie, but your subconscious knows better. You are never going to leave that man alone, and I don’t even know why y’all are still playing games.” Lovely huffed.
“Wait. You have a man? Soul told me you were single.” His sisters weren’t a common topic of discussion, but I recalled him mentioning that they were all single.
“That’s because she hasn’t told our brother that she’s been banging his best friend for years,” Lovely shouted over the music. I almost spit out my drink the moment those words left her.
“Wait a minute. Who is the best friend? And why am I just now hearing about this?” Patience dropped her head in shame, but it was too late for all of that. I wanted details, and I wanted them now.
“It’s Duke. We’ve been messing around on and off for a while, but I wouldn’t necessarily call him my man.”
“What exactly would you call a man you’ve been messing around with for five years? That’s way too long to be a fuck buddy.” I had so many questions because Patience seemed so sweet and innocent.
“Girl, that’s her man. Don’t even let her fool you like that. We’ve been keeping this secret for years because she doesn’t want our brothers to know that she fell in love with a hoe.” Adore snickered as she took another sip of her drink.
“Okay, you’re gonna have to break this all the way down for me.”
“That’s a story for another day, sis. I’m too drunk and it’s too much history to cover in such a short amount of time. All I can say is that he’s my man, but he’s not my man if you know what I mean. I haven’t had sex with anyone else in the last five years, but I can’t say the same for him. I’m not upset about it because we had an understanding, but it’s one of the reasons why we will never be anything more than what we are.” Her revelation stunned me as I took a moment to process the information. From what I saw Duke seemed like a nice guy, but he definitely was a ladies’ man.
Any time I’ve ever seen him out in public, he was usually surrounded by multiple women. I would’ve never even guessedthat he was involved with someone seriously because of the way he carried his self.
“Do you wanna be more? Have you ever talked to him about how you feel?” I probed, trying to get a better understanding of their dynamic.
“Duke has wanted me to be his woman from the very beginning, but I refused to set myself up for that. I’ve never known him to be faithful a day in his life, and I know that if we were to take things seriously, I would only end up being hurt. Besides, him and my brother are best friends. As much as he loves Duke, if things went left, Soul would be ready to wring his neck. I don’t wanna come in between their relationship, especially when I already know what to expect from him.” I understood exactly where she came from because I was the same way. The last thing you wanted to do was waste your time on a man that you knew couldn’t commit to you.
“Well at least you’re getting some good dick out of the deal until you decide to fully walk away. Do you think that he’ll ever let you move on once you’re ready?” I only asked the question because him and Soul seemed very similar in mindset. I already knew that if I tried to walk away from Soul, he would probably be ready to tie me up and toss me in a trunk.
“I honestly don’t care what he wants. He can’t give me what I need so I should have every right to move on if that’s what I wanna do.”
“That all sounds good, but we both know that Duke is just as crazy as Soul. He isn’t gonna let you go without a fight, and we both know he’ll never stand by and allow someone else to love you. Men are selfish like that.” Adore chimed in.
