Page 74 of Search My Soul
Who could I call? I needed to tell someone what was going on, but then I would have to explain the entire situation. Puma was the obvious choice because she was no stranger to my reckless actions. We had done a lot of questionable shit in our early adulthood. The only issue that crossed my mind was her relationship with Murk. Not only were he and Soul close, but they were also business partners. What if she slipped up and told him and he went to Soul? Nah. Puma would never snitch on me.Lord, get it together, Neeya.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I went to search for my phone. The moment I found it, I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. My makeup was the least of my concerns because my life was on the verge of blowing up right before my eyes.
“Hey, girl. You miss me already?” Puma joked on the phone while I sat there stunned. Tears were pooling down my face.
“Umm, bitch, are you crying? What the hell is going on?”
“Puma, I need you.” I croaked a little above a whisper.
“You’re freaking me out. What’s going on? Where is Soul? Do you need me to?—”
“No, I need you to come here. I can’t talk over the phone. As a matter of fact, I might need to meet you somewhere. I’m not sure what kind of cameras are here.”
“Yeah, you are really scaring me. Should I call Normi too?”
“No. The fewer people who know, the better. Please help me.” I wailed into the phone.
“Well, my old apartment is still available. Barbie moved out with her man, but she still uses it for storage. Can you meet me there in like twenty minutes?” she asked while I slid my feet into a pair of Crocs. Life was really playing a cruel joke on me, only I couldn’t find the humor in anything.
“Yes. I’ll be there in fifteen or less.” Using the back of my hand, I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“Okay, babe. I’ll see you soon.”
“Puma,” I whispered into the phone.
“Yeah?”
“Please don’t tell anyone you’re coming to meet me.”
“Umm, okay. I love you, Nee-nee.”
“I love you too.” After I hung up the phone, I rushed out of the room. As soon as I made it down the hall, Rosco and Apollo were at the bottom of the steps looking for me. My heart sank as I looked into their sweet faces. They’ve really become like children to me, and I hated the thought of us being apart. However, I needed to get as far from this place as I could. Soul asked me to feed them and let them out, so I made sure to do so before I headed out.
The journey from his house to Puma’s old apartment was something like a blur to me. I couldn’t even recall how I got there, but I was thankful that I made it in one piece. Once I found a parking space, I sat there in the car for a moment. My thoughts were all over the place, and it was imperative that I get myself under control. Puma would cuss me out if I didn’t get straight to the point, but even thinking about the events of that night caused me distress.
Here goes nothing. Placing my hand on the door handle, I braced myself for what was about to happen. I prayed Puma would be able to help me sort everything out, but I wasn’t sure. I knew this shit would come back to bite me on the ass, but I still made the choice to do it. All of this was on me, and unfortunately, I would have to answer for the things I had done.
“Hey, pooh.” Puma met me at the door of the apartment before she used her key to let both of us in. I kicked my shoes off out of habit before taking a seat on the couch.
“Damn, you’ve got me sad that I’m pregnant because I have a feeling I need a drink for this conversation.” My eyes looked up at her as I tried to gather my thoughts before I told her everything I’ve been dealing with for the last few months.
“You can start at any time, love. You’ve got me stressed out, so let me know what’s got you so upset.” Taking a deep breath, I prepared to tell her everything.
“Puma, I fucked up, and I don’t think I can come back from this.”
“Talk to me.”
I ran down everything that happened with Majesty, Remi, and my father first. Puma’s eyes widened, but she fixed her face.
“Why the fuck would you do some risky ass shit like that? I understand you love your father, but he made his own mess. That wasn’t for you to have to clean up.” She fussed, telling me what I already knew.
“He’s my father, Puma. What was I supposed to do? Let him and my sister die?”
“I’m not saying that, but at the end of the day he did nothing to earn that from you. He got into that situation on his own and then sat back and allowed you to carry the burden. What kind of parent puts their child in a position like that?” Puma paced the floor with her pregnant belly poking out.
“That isn’t the worst part,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What the hell could be worse than what you just told me?”
