Page 81 of Search My Soul
“Yeah, man. Life has been crazy lately. She definitely came through and robbed a nigga of his heart.” Soul’s choice of words couldn’t have been any worse, but I had to remind myself that he had no idea what I’d done.
“Yeah, I bet. You look familiar. Have we met before?” His question sent me spiraling internally, but I kept my poker face secured.
“I don’t believe so, but this city is so small it’s possible. I used to work at Rackzz so it’s a good chance you may have seen me there.”
“And if you did, keep that shit to yourself,” Soul interjected, making everyone laugh. Remi’s eyes pierced through me like lasers as he looked me up and down.
I tried not to look at him for too long because it made me uncomfortable. However, I also wasn’t trying to appear guilty, so I held my composure as best as I could.
“Yeah, that must be it. It was nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.” Remi sat back in his chair and turned his attention to some of the other guests. I was ready to go home and get as far away from this place as I possibly could. My life was finally falling into place, and now it seemed like things were about to blow up right in front of my face. A sinking feeling came over me, and I felt like I was going to be sick.
Soul chopped it up with his family while I excused myself to go to the bathroom. As soon as I got into the restroom, I threw up everything I’d eaten this evening. Squatting over the toilet, tears poured from my eyes as I continued to release the contents of my stomach. I stayed in the bathroom for a while longer until my stomach began to settle.
After I washed my hands and swished some water around in my mouth, I decided it was time for me to leave. I could order an Uber so Soul would still be able to spend time with his family.
“Hey, sis. Are you okay?” Lovely asked the moment I stepped out of the bathroom. “You look a little pale in the face.”
“Actually, I’m not feeling well. I think I’m gonna head home and lie down,” I explained. Her eyebrow raised as she eyed me up and down. I grew nervous under her gaze because I wasn’t sure what she was thinking.
“The way you and my brother have been humping like rabbits, I wouldn’t be surprised if we were getting a new addition soon.” My mouth watered, and I could feel my stomach about to turn again. There was no time for me to respond to her comment as I raced back into the bathroom. This time, the only thing that came out was liquid and stomach bile.
“Baby? Where you at?” I heard the sound of Soul’s voice, knowing he wasn’t supposed to be in here.
“Soul, why are you in the women’s bathroom?” I inquired, pushing the door to the stall open. When I saw his face, my heart fluttered. The concern was evident, and it made me feel loved, even though I wasn’t sure I deserved it at the moment.
“Lovely told me you were sick, so I came to check on you. Are you alright? You’re sweating.” His hand brushed over my forehead as if he was checking my temperature.
“I’m not feeling the best. I think I’m gonna head home,” I informed him as I finished washing my hands again.
“All right, cool. I’m gonna say goodbye to Nana and OG, then I’ll be ready to go.”
“Oh, no. You don’t have to leave because of me. I can catch an Uber to the house. Stay here with your family and enjoy yourself.” The irritated glare Soul gave me let me know I must have said the wrong thing.
“I’m going wherever you are. If you don’t feel well, why would I let you leave by yourself?”
“I understand what you’re saying, but you don’t need to end your night early because of me. All I’m gonna be doing is sleeping, so you might as well stay here and have a good time for both of us.” I reasoned, but his face remained the same.
“Yeah, you must be sick because your mind isn’t thinking clearly. I can’t have a good time if a part of my heart is sick. How sorry of a man would I be to be out kicking it and you’re at home sick? Who’s gonna take care of you?” I followed him out of the bathroom while he held my hand.
“I don’t want to ruin your night with your family. This really isn’t a big deal.” Soul didn’t respond to me. Instead, he held my hand as he said his goodbyes. When he went over to his nana, I went over to the table we were sitting at to grab my purse. I hadn’t intended on leaving it that long, but I was happy everything seemed to still be in the same place.
“Hey, beautiful. My grandson told me you were under the weather. Do you mind if I pray for you before you go?” I turned around to see Soul’s grandmother standing next to me. He was on the dance floor talking to his grandfather so I figured he must have told them.
“No, go ahead.” I’m sure she probably noticed my awkwardness, but all of this was new for me. She held my hands in hers as we bowed our heads.
“Dear, Lord. We come to You asking for You to touch Your child. She is in need of Your healing touch. Bless her from thecrown of her head to the soles of her feet. Her spirit is troubled, and You are the only one who can give her peace in her heart and mind. Whatever it is that she is struggling with, I ask that You remove it so that she may have peace. We trust You and know that You are able to do all things. Thank You for blessing us to see another day that wasn’t promised to us. We are thankful for Your kindness and mercy toward us. We ask these things in Your son’s name. Amen.”
I got chills as she prayed over me because it was the first time anyone had ever done it. The words she spoke scared me a little because I hadn’t expressed that I was battling with anything outside of sickness; however, her words were spot on. It made me feel seen.
“Thank you for your prayer. I had a really great time. Thank you for inviting me.”
“No problem, suga. I’m happy to see my grandson has found someone who makes him happy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him with so much love and joy in his heart. I’m going to give you a little advice when it comes to dealing with a man like Soul. Don’t lie to him. Soul is very big on loyalty and takes it very seriously. Honesty is always the best policy with him. Even if you think it’s something he won’t understand.
“All of my grandchildren are special in their own way. However, Soul is a very passionate and emotional man. When he loves you, he’ll give you the world and access to his whole heart, but there is a dark side to him as well. When he feels as though he has been betrayed or hurt, there is nothing anyone can do to stop him. He is much like this grandfather in that way, and I learned many lessons at the beginning of our relationship. The love they give is unique, but once you lose it, it’s almost impossible to get it back.
“Forgive me for my rambling. Soul gave me your phone number so I can check you myself. You know how those menare.” She laughed while her words replayed over and over again in my head. I needed to come clean to him about what happened because if I didn’t, I had a feeling my secret was still going to be exposed.
I satin my car because I wasn’t in a hurry to get out. Something in my spirit told me that I wasn’t going to like the information I got today, but there was no turning back now. I needed to know the truth.
