Page 183 of Bones
“I don’t think I could’ve just stood there and let you die,” I confessed, remembering how his wound had reminded me painfully of Dune’s. There’d been no hesitation in me when I went to heal him, just desperation.
“I’m sorry for all the times I reminded you of Juck.”
I pulled away, looking up at him in horror, and he released me, stuffing his hands back in his pockets. He stared down at me with those flinty grey eyes, something soft and pained in their depths. Something vulnerable that I’d never seen in him before.
“Youneverreminded me of Juck,” I said, my voice coming out harsher than I’d meant.
“Didn’t I?” he asked darkly.
“No,” I said, “you didn’t.”
We stared at each other for a long time. He didn’t look convinced, and I tried to get my brain to piece together a better answer.
“A lot of times I assumed you’d do something like Juck would’ve done,” I finally said, “but you never did.”
“Do you still wish you were with him instead of here?” he asked in a low voice.
Guilt stabbed me as I realized he’d been holding onto the lies I threw at him in anger. “I was lyin’ when I said that,” I admitted with a grimace. “I only said it to hurt you.”
His eyes studied mine, but he didn’t say anything.
“I watched him do so many horrible things.” The words just spilled out of my mouth. “He tortured the people he trafficked. He’d cut their tongues out if they screamed too much, and he’d…he’d do a lot worse if they really pissed him off. If I tried to get him to stop, he’d beat me and then make me go weeks without any food. He branded me after he found out I was sneaking out to see Vulture so I’d never forget Ibelongedto him. He wasevil.” My voice shook so hard I could barely get the words out, but I wanted him to understand he wasnothinglike Juck. “He…he forced himself on me for the first time when I was fourteen after I tried to run away. Helikedhurting people, Mac. You’re nothin’ like him, and—” My voice quavered. “And I’m sorry I made you think you were.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw again.
“For the first time?” he repeated in a dangerous voice.
I couldn't get any more words out, so I just nodded, clenching my trembling hands at my sides. I dreaded seeing pity on his face, but only fury shone in his eyes.
“I wish he was still alive soIcould kill him. Slowly,” he muttered.
Trey had said almost the same thing.
Despite the heaviness, the grief, and the horrible memories crowding my mind, I had to fight the urge to smile. Gods, maybe I'd truly lost it. Iwasbroken. The harder I tried to keep a straight face, the more the corner of my lips turned up. His eyes focused on my mouth, surprise washing away a little bit of the darkness in his eyes.
I finally gave up and let myself grin like a crazy person. “That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
He blinked, and then an answering slow grin spread across his face. Gods above, Mac haddimples.I wasn’t sure if I’d ever seen him smile beyond a slight smirk.
“Well, fuck, I better work on that,” he said.
Let ’em in.
“I hate bein’ alone in here.” The words tumbled out of my mouth.
He looked confused for a second, but then understanding flooded his face. “Is that why you haven’t been sleeping?”
I frowned. "I've been sleepin'."
He gave me an exasperated look. “At night?”
“Well, no,” I admitted, my face warming.
“Then we’ll make sure you’re not alone in here anymore.”
I blinked at him in surprise.
He hesitated a moment, then added, “You want me to stay tonight? I can get a bedroll and sleep on the floor.”
