Page 33 of Bones
“I got one of your crewkilled.”
“You didn’t kill Exo,” Trey said, even as sadness flashed through his eyes. “Exo disobeyed orders.”
“Yeah, that’s not on you.” The pain in Sam’s voice was clear, but he seemed to force a grin. “I mean, would I have preferred to avoid a fuckin’ nighttime rooftop chase where I nearly fell through that damn tin roof and lost my favorite knife? Yes.”
“All I know is you sure as hell didn’t have to save my life, but you did it anyway.” Trey’s face was still serious.
“And allIknow is you’re one of us now. So you can quit the lone wolf bullshit.” Sam crossed his arms, but he was still grinning.
I stared at them, clutching the mug. “There’s no way youallfeel like that.”
Mac and Lana’s angry faces flashed through my head. I hadn’t seen Lana since we arrived at the hold, and I dreaded the next time we ran into each other.
They looked uncomfortable for the first time.
“Well, no.” Trey allowed.
“Not everyone can be as smart as us,” Sam smirked.
“But everyone is loyal to Mac. They’ll follow orders even if they don’t like it,” Trey added.
I didn’t believe that, but I didn’t argue. I couldn’t afford to believe it, no matter how good it sounded.
Don’t let your guard down,Wolf agreed.
So I just sipped my broth and watched them argue over how to organize my tools. It wasn’t long afterward that Griz came to take over. Trey and Sam cheerfully told me goodnight and Griz took up his spot outside the door. The sudden silence didn’t feel quite as welcome as I thought it would.
I scowled at myself.Get it the fuck together.
I climbed up the ladder and with a lot of effort managed to pull it up into the loft with me. I straightened, panting but relieved. I toed off my boots and climbed under the blankets on my bed. The lumpy mattress was the most comfortable thing I’d slept on in a long time. The blankets smelled clean, like soap. I had an entirehouseall to myself. After twelve years of sleeping in tents, this felt almost luxurious. There was no sand in the bed or my hair, no danger of the wind whipping a pole out of the ground, and no other person whose presence was a constant threat. I didn’t have to fall asleep terrified of what he might do in the middle of the night.
It was so close to what I’d pretended not to want for twelve years. It was so close to an actual home.
C’mon, you’re smarter than that,Wolf snarled.
I know. I know.
* * *
Madame summoned me again two days later. I’d spent the past couple of days healing and organizing. Most people who walked into the clinic just needed a few stitches or some medicine. I could tell the people here had grown used to patching themselves up and that most continued to do so despite having a healer again. I didn’t blame them for not trusting me. I used my downtime to sort through the previous healer’s supplies. Sam brought me broth for every meal and my stomach slowly adjusted.
Griz and Sam were both inside the clinic, talking to each other as I tried hard to ignore them. They acted more like brothers than crew mates, constantly joking with each other. And gods, they wereloud.When the door opened, I turned, and my heart sank at the sight of Mac. I hadn’t seen him since Madame’s interrogation, and I wasn’t excited to see him now.
“Madame wants you,” he said.
Griz and Sam went quiet as I put away the tools I’d been cleaning. I hoped they didn’t notice how my hands had started trembling.
“Where’s Trey?” Sam asked.
“In the bunkhouse,” Mac responded.
I pretended not to notice the looks they were exchanging. There was some unspoken shit happening. I finished my work and turned back around, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. Griz and Sam were both frowning, but they didn’t say anything. Mac just glanced at me and strode out the door, expecting me to follow.
Mac led the way a few paces ahead of me. The closer we got to the watchtower, the more my hands shook, and I tried to steel myself. As soon as Mac opened the doors, we could hear the screams, and they only grew louder as we descended the stairs. My panicked urge to flee felt like it was choking me. If I turned around and moved quietly, Mac might not even notice?—
As though he heard my frantic thoughts, he turned and stared at me, that muscle in his jaw ticking. I stopped in my tracks. When he strode up the stairs toward me, I panicked and retreated up a step, but he caught my forearm in a tight grip.
“What the fuck?” I seethed, yanking against his grip.
