Page 147 of Fangs
“I’m sorry,” I repeated helplessly.
“I get why you were scared, but were you really scared ofme?Did you think I would hurt Mac with that knowledge?”
“No,” I mumbled. “I know you wouldn’t.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know.” The raw hurt on his face was too much, so I looked at the ground. “I just… everything is changing. I feel so out of control, and… keepin it to myself… kinda helps. I’m so… so scared of what will happen to him and Clarity if…” What had Sam called him? “...if the Mental Menace finds out. It wasn’tyou.”
He sighed, then stepped forward and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tightly.
“I’m so sorry, Sam,” I said into his shoulder.
“It’s alright,” he murmured, resting his chin on my head. “I get it… it just… still hurts.”
“I swear I’m trying,” I said, miserably desperate for him to understand. “I swear, Sam, I’m just?—”
“No, I know you are,” he interrupted, his voice firm. “I know you are, Emmy.”
He pulled back but took my face in his hands, tilting it up so he could examine the scratch marks Lana had given me.
“So Lana is still as delightful as ever,” he said with a hint of his dry humor.
“Will you forgive me?” I blurted out.
He blinked, surprise in his eyes. “Of course I forgive you.”
Relief made me feel shaky, and whatever expression was on my face softened his eyes. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“You know I’ll always love you,” he smiled at me when he pulled back. “I don’t make pinky promises with just anyone.”
“I love you, too,” the hoarse words tumbled out of my mouth.
Emotion filled his face, and I remembered how he’d teased me in the horse pasture.You’ll admit that you love me one of these days.I tried to brace myself for a big reaction, but thankfully, he just gave me a crooked grin and slung an arm around my shoulders.
“Of course you do,” Sam said, and the words were flippant, but his eyes stayed soft. “I’m lovable as fuck.”
24
Sam returned to the clinic with me, and I loved him even more for keeping up a steady stream of small talk with Wolf and his crew. I didn’t see Mac before the dinner bell rang, but Griz and Jax joined us as we walked to the canteen with Wolf’s crew. Apple came running down the path as soon as she saw us, throwing herself around my legs. She was excited to see Griz again, attacking him next and squealing as Griz tossed her into the air. Then, Apple shocked everyone by demanding a shoulder ride from Lee.
“Of course, Your Majesty,” Lee immediately replied, making her giggle.
When we arrived, Nemo was making rounds in the canteen. He looked much better, walking straight and steady and greeting people with his usual energy. He smiled and waved when he saw us, and I managed a smile in response that didn’t feel too forced.
Apple sat between me and Griz again, but she entertained the entire table by chattering about anything and everything. Apparently, she was no longer afraid of my brother and his crew. I took a full ration along with broth and ate most of it without feeling sick. Sam was flirting with Scar, who seemed amused. She had to be at least ten years older than him, but she wasn’t shutting him down. I kept looking for Mac, but he never appeared.
“Where’s Mac?” I asked Griz as we walked back to the clinic after dinner.
“Dealin’ with Lana,” he muttered.
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but his body language seemed closed, so I didn’t push. I turned to go up the path toward the clinic, but Griz, Sam, and Jax didn’t follow. When I paused, turning to look back at them, they simply called a hasty goodnight and continued down the main path toward the bunkhouse. For a second, I stood there debating on tagging along behind like a lost puppy, but they were striding quickly away and speaking in low tones to each other. So, instead, I reluctantly followed Wolf and his crew into the clinic.
They were at ease in my space, but they’d been staying here for two weeks without me. They pulled out the wooden chairs and sat talking to each other. Tuck, Lee, and Scar started playing a game of cards. Lee attempted to coax me to join, but I declined, opting to do some laundry in the sink. I listened to them talk and laugh with each other as I scrubbed my clothes, and I feltweird.
I wished I could be at the bunkhouse. When I was with my crew, I felt like I waswiththem. They were my crew. But separated like this, the doubts crept in. I wasn’t actually alone this time like I’d been after Trey’s death, but somehow, I felt even lonelier surrounded by Wolf and his crew. They were tight knit, just like Mac’s crew, but I had no idea where I fit into their group. Prisoner? Bounty? Murderer? Wolf’s little sister? I still didn’t know how to process everything Wolf had told me about Carth.
When I finished my laundry, I bundled it in my arms to take upstairs, but I paused at the ladder momentarily, feeling awkward. “Um, goodnight.”
