Page 158 of Fangs
“But you weren’t in control, were you? You didn’t have a choice. You couldn’t stop what was happening. Only Juck could do that, andhedecided to hurt people, not you.”
“Do you honestly expect me to believeyouwouldn’t have done anything?”
Pain filled his face. “Yes, because that’s exactly what I did for years.”
We stared at each other for a few breaths.
“In Mad Dog’s garrison, the guards often came into the slave quarters at night and took slaves for many disgusting reasons. Sometimes, it was to punish someone who was too difficult or loud. Sometimes it was to find someone to fuck. Mad Dog had my younger sister in his harem, and I was determined to get out and rescue her. So, those nights when the guards came? I didn’t try to interfere or defend the other slaves. I stayed quiet and small and tried to be invisible.” Pain deepened in the lines of his face, and I struggled to push down the memories of all the times I tried to do the same. “And after I discovered she was dead, I made my escape alone. I didn’t try to take anyone with me. I saved only myself.”
The memory of Vulture’s face when I left him bleeding out in Juck’s tent flashed through my head, and I bit my lip hard.
“I nearly let the survivor’s guilt destroy me,” he continued quietly. “I became a Ghostmark. I killedhundredsof people simply because someone paid me to do so. Maybe they were guilty, maybe they were innocent; it doesn’t really matter. I took their lives because I didn’t value mine.” He paused, smiling sadly. “And then I met this handsome broody stranger obsessed with finding his little sister, and I realized I had the power to be the person I needed when I was helpless…to be the personmysisterneeded when she was helpless.”
I’m not your sister,I wanted to snap, but I didn’t.
He cocked his head slightly. “Why did you take on caring for all the orphans? Why did you jump in that pit to save Sky?”
I pressed my lips together. I didn’t know why I did those things. I just knew I couldn’tnotdo them.
“Why do you want me to hate you?” he pressed.
“Please leave me alone,” I said, my voice trembling.
When I turned and strode away, I could have cried with relief that he didn’t try to follow.
26
Iwent to my hiding spot in the apple trees by the wall. The tree buds looked like they were seconds away from bursting into blooms. I sat under one of the gnarled trees and leaned against the trunk.
Maybe Sam was right; maybe I did always run away.
I sighed and hugged my legs to my chest, dropping my forehead onto my knees. I don’t know how long I sat there, letting my mind drift before I felt him approaching. I didn’t knowhowI felt him approaching, just that I did.
“See? That list is comin’ in handy already,” Mac said as he sat next to me.
I huffed without raising my head.
“I was waitin’ for you and Sable to get back, but then he came back without you. I almost shot him first and asked questions later.”
I turned my head so my temple lay on my knees and looked at him. He met my eyes and raised an eyebrow.
“So, Sable wanted to talk to you?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I mumbled, then switched to mental communication without a second thought. “He wanted to know why I disliked him.”
Mac was quiet for a few breaths.“Do you not like him?”
Instead of answering, I let the memory of him showing me his brand and the Reapers trafficking people to Mad Dog play through my head. It was strange how quickly I was getting used to this form of communication with Mac, and even stranger was how comfortable I felt with it.
“Fuck,”he muttered.
“How’s Lana?”
His eyes narrowed at the change in subject.“Angry, but healthy.”
“What’s gonna happen to her?”
“I think next time we go to Lone Pine, we’re gonna drop her off, but we gotta meet a contact of Nemo’s in Liberty first. We’re leavin’ later this afternoon. We’ll be gone for three nights.”
