Page 160 of Fangs
“You said, ‘Why are you in here using your scary asshole act on me?’”
I stared at him, my brow furrowing, and his lips twitched up.
“Em, most of the people here thought Iwasa scary asshole, but you saw right through it.”
I stayed quiet, just watching him.
“I’m not sayin’ I’ve never been an asshole. I have, and I’m sure I’ll be one again, but you were right. The scary asshole thing was an act… one I’d been doin’ for so long I forgot it wasn’t who I was or who I wanted to be. It was just the only thing I could do to survive and keep people safe.” He ran a hand through his unruly hair, exhaling heavily through his nose. “I’ll carry remorse about the other kids I killed as long as I live, but I didn’t start those fights. I didn’t attack them or plan on killin’ them. They made their decisions, and I was forced to make mine. I don’t know if either of us were ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ just kids put in a desperate situation by adults whodidknow better.” He paused, raising an eyebrow. “Sound familiar?”
I grimaced and didn’t answer, but we both knew it did.
“So I'm just sayin’ I know a little bit about bein’ forced to become something you’re not to survive and how hard it is to let that person go when it's safe.”
I stared at the dry leaf crumbling to tiny pieces in my hands. I had no idea what to say.
“Just think about it, alright?”
I reluctantly nodded, then changed the subject. “Did you get a hold of your contacts in Angel City?”
He frowned and shook his head. “No, that’s why we’re trying to get a stronger radio signal goin’. I’m guessin’ most of their radio towers are down, so they’re probably stuck usin’ the smaller radios. Nemo was lookin’ through some of the old logs, and it sounds like before they got those towers operating again about fifty years ago, the Vault had no contact with most of the larger strongholds.”
“I didn’t know the Voiceless were takin’ over,” I admitted. “Juck talked about them a lot, but he never said anythin’ about uprisings or battles.”
He looked surprised, but it felt less judgmental than Wolf’s reaction. “What’d he talk about then?”
“Their beliefs and shit. He used to be one of them.”
Mac’s eyebrows almost launched off his face. “Juck used to be one of the Voiceless?”
“That’s what he told me.”
He frowned. “And they let him leave?”
“He said they parted ways, but I think there was more to it. He was always real careful to keep us from ever crossing paths with them. One time, we saw a couple of prophets in a town, and he nearly wrenched my arm off, dragging me in the other direction.”
Mac’s eyes went distant. “Interesting.”
“Sometimes it feels like nothin’ in my life makes sense,” I mumbled, plucking at some fresh shoots of grass.
“Just sometimes?”
His wide smile was contagious. I liked this side of him when he was relaxed and teasing.I noticed his smile widening and remembered he could hear me. I vividly pictured myself flipping him off, and he laughed out loud.
His laughter cut off abruptly, and I looked up in alarm to see him clutching his head, his eyes screwed shut in pain.
“Mac?” I lunged toward him, intending to grab his bare forearms, but he held out a hand, stopping me.
“I’m alright,” he groaned.
“Yeah, looks like it,” I snapped, hovering next to him on my knees.
He made a choked sound that might have been a laugh. “Just gettin’ hit with a lot of thoughts at once.”
It took my brain a moment to catch up—other people’sthoughts. He was hearing other people’s thoughts.
“How many people are you hearing at once?” I asked.
He grimaced. “All of ’em, I think.”
