Page 69 of Fangs
“I think I got all the soap out. Is that better?”
I tentatively inhaled through my nose. I could still smell it, but it was fainter now. I nodded, twisting my hair tightly and wringing the water out. It struck me that I didn’t feel anxious being in this very vulnerable position with Mac.
“I wish I woulda protected you better,” Mac said roughly. “I wish she didn’t haunt you, too.”
“There was nothin’ you coulda done,” I mumbled.
He went quiet as I tried to wring more water from my hair. My stomach settled as the scent faded, but the embarrassment grew. I had to addsoapto the list of things I couldn’t handle. My back ached from staying bent over like this, but the dull ache was so familiar now I barely noticed.
“Does your back ever still hurt?”
My stomach dropped as I realized he was staring at the top of my scarred back, visible above the towel. I quickly shifted so my back faced the fire, and he met my eyes.
He grimaced. “Sorry, I just haven’t seen your back since I carried you back from the watchtower when it was bleedin’ all over the place.”
Cold water dripped down my neck, making me shiver. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” he snapped, but his eyes were pained. “You never should’ve taken those lashes.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Fault didn’t matter.” He held my gaze, his dark eyes so serious. “I was tryin’ to take some of the hurt.”
I stared at him without really seeing him, suddenly tongue-tied and uneasy.Maybe if you stopped trying to be a godsdamn martyr, you’d see that.His words from all those months ago ran through my head again. He winced, and I focused on him again, furrowing my brow in concern.
“Sorry, I was just rememberin’ some of the shit I said to you,” he said, averting his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.
“You already apologized for all of this twice,” I reminded him.
“I know,” he muttered. He let out a heavy sigh and then looked back up at me. “Does your back ever still hurt?” he repeated his earlier question.
I hesitated. “Yeah,” I finally admitted.
“What helps?”
“I have an oil infusion,” I said, then stopped.
He raised an eyebrow. “But?”
“But I can’t really put it on by myself.”
Pain flashed through his eyes. “Trey would do it for you?”
I nodded, my heart aching.
“If you feel comfortable with it, I’d help,” he said. “And if you’d prefer someone else, you know any of the others would help in a heartbeat, right?”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t—” I stopped, desperately trying to figure out what I was trying to say.
You don’t ever need to apologize for your scars. These scars are proof that you survived. That you walked through fire, and you came out the other side. You’re a godsdamned warrior, Bones, and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
I squeezed my eyes shut as though that would do anything against the painful memory of Trey’s words.
“He was right.”Mac’s gruff voice startled me, and it took me a moment to realize it was because I heard itinsidemy fuckinghead.
Inside.
My.
