Page 41 of The Luck of Finding You
“I didn’t realize how close the strike had been until I woke up who knows how long after because I’d been thrown from the tree and knocked out when I hit the ground. By the time we woke up, the bear was gone and the rain had stopped, but we could smell smoke and knew there was a fire.”
“Is this real?” Tally interrupts me. “This is kind of a crazy story. I feel like this would have been on the news.”
“It was completely insane. Straight out of a movie, but it really happened. It was all over Colorado’s news channels for weeks, but I don’t think the story went national.” I shrug. “We somehow made it back to our car, even though the forest around us was in flames. Sam’s ribs were hurting really bad, and by this point, I’d sort of come out of shock and realized that my left arm was definitely broken.”
I rub my face. “It was some kind of miracle that we even made it down the canyon and to a hospital, where they told us we definitely shouldn’t have been driving. Turns out the lightning was about two hundred feet away from us. If it had been any closer, we would have died.”
“Holy crap.” Tally squeezes my hand. I never want her to let go.
I nod solemnly. “It could have been so much worse. The doctor who put my arm in a cast said that it was a miracle, if I believed in that type of thing. I guess I started to after that. After that day, I promised myself I’d make the most out of my life. Say yes to things that scare me, look for the good. You never know when it’s all going to end.”
Tally nods. “It’s crazy how things can change so quickly.”
I don’t reply right away. Instead, I sink further into the couch, bringing Tally with me since our hands our still intertwined. Her head lands on my shoulder and I’m afraid she’s going to pull away, like she does every time we get close.
She surprises me by staying.
16
TALLY
Alarm bells are screaming in my head, shouting at me to get up. To move away from Noah, but with every breath I ignore them and settle in closer to him on the couch. His breathing has evened out again, but he’s quiet.
While I’ve lost people, I’ve never had an experience that brought me face-to-face with death. I can’t imagine reliving that, even from the safety of a couch. I should thank him for sharing his experience with me.
I thought about life and death after Mom died and a little again since Marsha died. It’s like when you lose someone, you want to try harder to live a little better as a way to honor them. But over time, those old habits come back. That’s what it’s like to be human though, isn’t it? To make changes and then go back to old things and try again and again.
But I’ve never stared death straight in the face like Noah experienced last year. A lot of things about Noah make sense now. Some things are just bare minimum of being a decent person, like being kind to people. But he seems to go above and beyond, not just around me but around everyone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him lose his temper before.
He also seems to live life like he’s going to say yes to anything, even if it’s terrifying or a risk.
I kind of can’t believe that he told me all that in the first place. I’m grateful I didn’t have to talk more about my mom, but his story surprised me.
He keeps surprising me.
“You never know what tomorrow will bring.” Noah’s voice is hushed, but it brings me back to the present moment, my head on his shoulder, our hands laced together in his lap. “So why not make the most of today?”
I suck in both my cheeks. “I think that’s really nice in theory but a lot harder to put into practice. Most people have to work and do things that they don’t always want to do, but what if they have to do those things to survive?”
“What if they don’t? What if part of it is them choosing that life? I mean, yeah, sometimes we have to work hard to get to where we want to go and get to the life we want. I don’t think life is easy for anyone. But what if we took more time living a life we actually enjoyed, right now, and not worry so much about where we’re going to be in five years? We’re living right here, right now. Why spend more time focused on the past or the future than actually living?” Noah’s words shake me. I want to dive into what they make me feel, but I’m not sure I’m ready to face those emotions.
“What would you do right now if you weren’t stressed about the future? What would you regret not doing tomorrow if you didn’t do it today?” Noah asks me. He’s not taunting me and he doesn’t sound like some happiness guru, at least not completely. He actually wants to know what I would do right now if I just went for it. “Nothing stupid though. That’s the one rule I gave myself. I’d take risks, I’d go for things I wanted, but I wouldn’t do anything that could end up hurting me or someone else.”
“I would ask you why you kissed me that day, five years ago.” The words are out of my mouth before I can take them back. It wasn’t until he asked that I realized I even wanted to know. More than why he ran away, I want to know why that afternoon even happened in the first place.
Noah rubs his thumb along my hand. I can imagine how tenderly I’d see him looking at me right now if I were brave enough to lift my face and meet his eyes. In the last hour he’s held me while I cried and told me a big thing that happened in his life. And all I can think about is how tenderly this man treats me.
“I don’t want you to think that I did it because I thought you needed saving,” Noah says, and that makes me smile. For a man who doesn’t think I need saving, he sure comes to my rescue a lot.
But I don’t actually mind.
The thought shocks me.
“I didn’t need saving then. I don’t need saving now.” I’m not even saying those words for Noah. I’m trying to convince myself I mean them.
“Sometimes it’s okay if you need to be saved.” He squeezes my hand, then continues to rub it with his thumb, waiting for me to respond. When I don’t, he continues. “When it comes down to it, I just really wanted to kiss you. I swear I’ve never been that bold in my entire life. I walked into that café and saw you there and knew immediately I wanted to get to know you. That I wanted to spend time with you and that I really wanted to kiss you. When I saw your face as that guy and girl walked in, it was like my heart ripped in half. I was so angry that any person made you feel that way, and I didn’t even know how exactly you were feeling. But the pain was all over your face.”
“So what, you kissed me out of pity?”
