Page 42 of The Luck of Finding You
“What!? No. I kissed you because I wanted to, and making those people jealous seemed like a nice excuse to do that.”
“Wow,” I say. “Who knew? The guy who reads romance novels is still just a guy like the rest of them and will do anything to kiss a girl.”
“That makes it sound so bad.” Noah groans. “I swear I wasn’t really trying to make any moves. I mean, I totally kissed you and the memory of that kiss, that afternoon, has never left my mind, not that I want it to. But I swear that was the only time I’ve ever done anything like that.”
Not that I want it to.
What does he mean by that? Why doesn’t he want to forget? Does he feel the same way I do whenever I see him? Like I’m thrown back in time and wonder what it would be like if we tried something now?
“I know. I was joking. Sort of.” My words don’t match what I’m feeling at all, but can I tell him how I feel, that it’s the same as him? Or at least how I think it’s the same?
“I am sorry if I hurt you.” I feel a featherlight touch on my head. His lips linger in my hair for a second before he pulls away. “I kissed you. I spent a perfect afternoon with you and then I ran away.”
I let out a shaky breath. I hope he doesn’t notice how he’s affecting me right now. “Yeah, that kind of totally sucked.”
“I am sorry for that, Tally.”
I look down at our hands.They fit together perfectly,I think as I stare at them.We fit together so perfectly.The thought makes me want to jump away from him, because curled into his side like this, I almost think that being in his arms is how we were meant to be.
“I like you, Tally.” Noah lets out a low laugh. My mouth opens in a tinyo. “I know that’s probably ridiculous to say right now. It’s been only two weeks since I first saw you again, and I told you I just wanted to be friends. But I like you. I want to get to know you better, know what makes you tick and what makes you smile. I want to take you out on real dates. I really want to kiss you again.”
I tilt my head off his shoulder so I can look at him. Our noses almost brush because we’re sitting so close. If his words hadn’t already made my insides turn to goo, the way he’s looking at me definitely will.I like you too!That’s what I want to scream, but I’m still scared to lay it all on the table.
I don’t know who moves first, but one second, I’m wondering how I can get my voice to work to tell him how I feel and the next, we’re kissing. He breaks away for a beat. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.”
His hand slips from mine, moving around my back and pulling me closer to him. I run my hands through his wavy hair, which is just as soft as I imagined it would be. As I remembered it being.
He’s got an arm around my back, holding me in place against him, the other in my hair. “Tally,” he whispers against my lips, and I kiss him harder.
I’ve kissed only a handful of guys since our first kiss five years ago, but none of them were ever like this. His lips part, his tongue skimming my lips, and I sigh, leaning into him even more.
I think I’ve made it to heaven.
Noah’s lips are gentle against mine, but there is nothing sweet about this kiss. I can feel the passion flowing from him as he pulls me even closer to him. His lips leave mine as he brushes featherlight kisses along my jaw. I tilt my head and my neck gets the pleasure of feeling his soft lips against it. Then he’s kissing my lips again. Hungry and hurried. I am all too eager to match his enthusiasm.
When the kiss slows, it feels like a good time to tell him. “I feel the same.”
I’m leaning toward him again, but Noah pulls away and my heart lurches. “But?”
The hesitation I’ve been trying to keep at bay hits me like a bucket of ice water. How can he know me well enough already to know I’ve got a “but” coming? I wouldn’t have brought it up, but because he did, I have to say something.
I jump off the couch, trying to put some physical distance between us. I can feel the wall around my heart sealing up again.
I need a second to sort out my feelings, to figure out what I should say.
Noah stands, reaching for me. “Tally.”
I take a step back, holding my hands up. “But there is kind of another guy. I haven’t actually met him in person. We met online through my blog a few years ago and talk almost every day on Twitter. Which I know sounds completely ridiculous, but I’m going to meet him at Simone Sorrows's event down in St. George next week. But I’m also falling for you, so that doesn’t feel fair to you or him.”
It's the first thing that came to my mind. Better than telling him all that I truly feel. Because I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now.
And it's not exactly a lie, even though what I just told Noah doesn’t accurately describe my feelings for Mo. Idolike Mo. He’s my closest friend, and there’s a part of me, deep down, that knows that once we meet, things will change between us. Don’t they say that you should fall in love with your best friend? I do love Mo, in a way, but before he suggested we meet, I never thought of us as anything more than friends.
Maybe it was just my way of distracting my mind from thinking about Noah, but in the past two weeks I’ve found myself wondering more if something with Mo could actually work. But what I just said is a stretch, and I feel a stab of guilt as hurt flashes across Noah’s face.
I start toward the door.
