Page 11 of Part of Forever
But the thing is, I don’t want to go. I always end up being the designated driver because I don’t like drinking. Plus, I generally sit alone on the couch while he hangs out with all his friends and flirts with Libby. It’s not exactly what I call a good time, but I know I can’t say no with how he’s looking at me right now. “Okay.”
“Awesome! Thanks, babe.” Shawn hugs me before running back to his surf buddies standing at the edge of the parking lot.
I look at Tucker, who’s staring at the ground.
“Can we go?” Nathan suddenly asks. “I’m supposed to help Dad set up his exhibit tonight, but I need to change first.”
“Yup,” I say. “See you two later.” I wave.
“See ya!” Grace grins at us, oblivious to the thick air that seems to be surrounding Tucker and me. I look at him once I’m in my car. He’s still standing between our cars, watching me. I give him what I hope is a friendly wave and smile before pulling out of the parking lot and heading home, ignoring the gnawing guilt in my stomach the entire time.
Why did I say yes to Shawn?
journal entries from sophomore year
February11
Dear Journal,
Today was a fairly normal day (minus part of it... we’ll get to that).
Now that we’re in high school, we get to buy roses for people during the week of Valentine’s Day, which get delivered on the holiday. It’s kind of stupid, but I still might have bought a rose for Shawn.
I’ve had a sort of crush on him since elementary school, and then Grace dared me to buy him a flower, and she never dares me to do anything, so I did it. So that’s kind of crazy.
They also have dumb things like we did in middle school. Today was Hug a Friend day. Like, okay, I guess we’ll all just hug each other. But Shawn did give me a hug (and Grace and Libby) so I guess it isn’t completely stupid.
We still ride the bus since we’re all freshmen and can’t drive yet. Me and Nathan usually ride the bus home with Tucker and Grace, who live just down the street from us.
So we’re talking about the school day and how we hugged when Tucker shared that he hasn’thugged anyone yet.
Grace freaked out cause, like, it’s Hug a Friend day, and apparently she’s really into school spirit now?
We get off the bus, and he hugs me!!
It was super quick and over before I even realized it was happening. But… Tucker hugged me!
Then… a little later, we were texting… and I’m just gonna write out the convo cause I kind of want to remember it… It started around 7:30 pm, just as I was finishing up at the studio.
Tucker: Hey.
Me: Hi.
T: How are you?
Me: Good. You?
T: I’m good.
Me: That’s good.
This is how a lot of our convos start… even though we text all the time. IDK why we don’t just continue our old conversations. IDK why we say hi every time. Like, we already have a text thread… anyway.
T: So… tell me something random.
Me: Like what?
T: Anything.
