Page 4 of Part of Forever
I shake all the thoughts away and turn my phone over without texting anyone back. I cannot afford to be distracted, especially not by my mom’s plans or by Tucker. He’s the reason why I told my mom I’d try dating Shawn in the first place. It was the perfect proposition. Shawn wanted to make his real crush, Libby, jealous, and I didn’t want to date Tucker. I can’t date him.
I sigh. I would actually love to date him, even though I have no intention of telling him that. He’s the person who makes me laugh the most, and he understands (on some level) my dedication to dance and knows why today is so important to me. He gets me on a level no one else does, and I get him the same way. But, as much as I want to hold his hand every now and then, and even if I wonder if kissing him is as great as it was last summer when we’d had our first and only kiss, Tucker Bensen is not an option.
Mom had made that clear as soon as he’d moved in.
Which probably made me like him even more.
“No boys,” she had said one afternoon after class.
“What?” I asked, confused at what she was referring to, as I drank from my water bottle, still going through the routine in my mind.
“I know Erin’s nephew just moved in. She said that the two of you hit it off the other day at his welcoming party. But you know the rules.”
“Mom,” I’d groaned, “it’s not like that. We’re just friends.” Because at that point, of course that’s all we were. We were still practically strangers. Yes, I thought he was cute, but I was marriedto ballet already, even at fourteen. I wouldn’t let anything or anyone stop me from getting into the Paris Ballet Academy.
Mom looked at me with that stern and serious look then—it was the look she gave dancers in the studio often. “No boys, no distractions,” she said firmly.
I nodded. “No boys, no distractions.”
When it became apparent to nearly everyone that Tucker and I connected on a level no one could have ever guessed, I tried to step back from the flirting and the long glances for the sake of all involved. But even if I hadn’t had dance to focus on, I think I would have cut back anyway. We became better friends, and eventually, I didn’t have to remind myself thatwe’re just friendsevery time we were together. I didn’t want to mess up our friendship.
Until he kissed me on the Fourth of July last year during the firework show.
Immediately, I wanted him to do it again. And just as immediately, I knew I had to make it stop. Now, we’re back to being friends and pretending like it never happened. I went to Paris for the last half of summer and came back to Mom’s plan for me to date Shawn. But he and I aren’t interested in each other, even if we flirt occasionally to make our moms think otherwise. I don’t like him, and he doesn’t like me. But Mom could tell I was starting to fall for Tucker, so she intervened. Just like she always does.
My phone vibrates in my hands, pulling me out of my thoughts.
Nathan
Are you coming to the bonfire with us tonight?
I flip my phone over, unsure of my answer. Part of me really wants to say no. It’s a Monday night, and school starts tomorrow, so I’d much rather spend a few hours in the studio and go to bed before ten. But it’s my senior year, and tomorrow, I start my last semester of high school, which means I can finally go to the senior bonfire with my friends.
“So,” I say, broaching the subject with my mom because her answer is always no unless it’s a movie night or a party at Grace’s house, “the senior bonfire is tonight, and Nathan and Grace are going, and I want to go with them.”
The words tumble out, and my stomach flips. What if she says no? I hate that I feel small as I say these words, like she has so much power over me that I’ve made myself smaller so that it won’t hurt nearly as much when the crushing blow comes. She doesn’t treat Nathan this way, only me. Her little ‘prodigy’, even if that’s not what I ever wanted to become.
“Hmm?” Mom asks, glancing away from the stopped traffic to look at me. Why can’t she ever listen when I talk?
“The bonfire? Tonight. Can I go with them?”
“Will Tucker be there?” she asks, and I clench my teeth.
“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “But it doesn’t matter since everything with Shawn is going well.”
She frowns. “Will he be there?” she asks. She’s not thrilled that he and I have only gone on two dates since the summer. She wants me to try harder to make him my boyfriend, but there’s only one guy I’m interested in, and it’s the only one she doesn’t want me to date. Although I used to have a crush on Shawn, that was before I got to know him better.
“No, he’s flying in tonight from Colorado. Skiing, remember?”
She nods, as if she only sort of remembers this.
I’m afraid she’ll tell me no; that since he won’t be at the bonfire, she won’t let me go.
“Fine,” she says, and my heart leaps—slightly.
Dare I hope I heard her correctly? “Really?”
“Really,” she answers. “But you both have to be home by ten at the latest. It is a school night.”
