Page 5 of Part of Forever
“Thanks, Mom,” I say, turning my phone over.
YES. And Mom said yes since I finally asked her.
Nathan
Good call on waiting till after your audition to ask her.
That was partly Tucker’s idea. He suggested I wait until she wasn’t focused on the audition to ask her. Is he coming?
Nathan
Good man. And yes, he’ll be there.
I swallow, glancing at Mom. She’ll get worried if she knows he’s coming, but I’m not about to tell her and give her a reason to change her mind. She gets funny when Tucker is concerned. She’s worried that he’s too much like my dad and that I’m going to fall head over heels for him and ruin my career by having kids too soon, which is what happened to her.
My parents’ love story is one that I loved hearing as a child. Dad would sit us down and share how, during their senior year of high school, his parents moved from Laguna Beach down to San Clemente, a thirty-minute drive that he was convinced would ruin his life. On his first day, he met Mom, and he knew that was it; he was head over heels for a girl he didn’t even know yet.
From the way they tell it, they fell in love fast, and he followed her to Paris, declaring he could paint anywhere, which was true. He worked in the Louvre at the front desk as she danced the days away. He proposed when they were nineteen and they were married three months later. By twenty-two, she had twins on the way, and her professional dance career was over. Not because she was now a mother, but because Nathan and I broke her pelvis during the first part of delivery before it turned into an emergency C-section.
Her life is the reason she has all these strict rules about boys,because she wants for me what she never got, even though I know she loves Dad and she loves us. I think part of her regrets having kids when she did because she didn’t get to finish her dream. It’s why she gets to choose who I date. Guys who have “real potential,” as she says. Which tells me she doesn’t know Shawn very well because he has as much potential as a golden retriever. He’s a nice guy, but I’m pretty sure he plans on surfing instead of going to college like his parents think.
But I could be with Tucker now.The thought enters my mind so quickly that I drop my phone, startled.The audition is over. Why not have some fun with him before school ends? It could be the end of senior year/summer romance you’ve always wanted.
The thought makes me smile, but then I shake my head. I don’t want to ruin our friendship; I have to protect that at all costs. If we get together, there’s a risk we will come out on the other end not as friends, and I don’t know if I can take that risk.
journal entries from freshman year
November 17th
Dear Journal,
Okay. Wow. I’ve never actually written that before. I guess I’m not sure how to start a new journal, even though I’ve done it a million times.
This one, though, is just in a random notebook that looks like all of my school notebooks so Mom won’t think to look at it. I think.
She’s nosy and reads my other journal. She pretends she doesn’t, but she knows things I only write in there... and that’s annoying and makes me mad. I asked her about it once, but she denied it. Anyway. Not the point of why I’m writing today.
Tonight, Grace threw a party.
I can’t believe we’re finally freshmen and she’s already throwing parties.
And that people actually came!
Her party was for her cousin, Tucker, who just moved to town. I guess he’s some singer or something and wanted to come here to be closer to LA. I think she said he had a record deal (is that even what it’s called?) but I was too nervous to ask him about it. Not that I eventalked to him much.
Me and Nathan went to Grace’s early after she sent a text saying she was baking. BAKING!! Like, can you imagine her baking anything? Grace is a great writer who loves all things Disney and Disneyland related (she’d really love to be Mulan in all the parades and stuff one day) but she is NOT a baker. We got there right as she dumped a cup of sugar into the bowl.
She just laughed and said she didn’t know she actually needed to use the recipe.
Typical Grace.
But the cupcakes were saved, thanks to me and Nathan.
Grace kept talking about her cousin, who I guess at that point was just hiding in his room—she said he was unpacking, but I think he was hiding. Grace can be intense sometimes. I love her, but still, she’ll smother you with love. I was curious though. Imayhave stalked him on Instagram to see if I could find out more about him. The most recent picture Grace had was a picture from when they were seven. IG wasn’t super helpful though; his profile picture is just a shadow of him and he mostly posts pictures of his guitar.
Why do I feel like I need to share my entire life story up to this point before I go on? Like, yes, it’s a new journal, but who exactly do I think will be reading this???? NO ONE, HOPEFULLY.
Anyway. I’m a dancer. A good dancer. I’ve been working so, so hard. Which is why Mom has a rule about no boys.
