Page 55 of Part of Forever
“Wow, I haven’t been up here since I was, like, six. I’ll get a fire started.” Soon, there’s a roaring fire, and I settle in next to him on the floor as he unpacks the Chinese takeout we picked up down the road.
“So,” I ask as I pull out a spring roll. “Why are you so embarrassed?”
His eyes go wide and he chokes on his water. “What?” he sputters.
“Your face has been the color of a cherry since we got out of the truck—why?” I’m in my favorite gray T-shirt dress, and I should be cold, but it’s comfortable.
“Um… er.” He coughs, clearing his throat.
“What is it?” We’ve always been able to talk about everything easily. It’s weird to see him at a loss for words.
“I guess, uh, I just realized how this looks.” Tucker lets the words out with another cough. “I take you up to this cabin, just the two of us, I, er… I’m not planning to do anything…” Nowmyface grows red.
This isn’t something we’ve talked about before, and I honestly hadn’t even been thinking about it.
“I, um.” He lets out a laugh. “Why does this feel so awkward?”
I grab his hand. “It’s not awkward, I promise.”
“Right.” He looks at me. “I care about you, a lot.” His voice is softer now. “You've brought so much light into my life and I really care about you. I didn’t bring you up here to have sex with you, even though a lot of guys our age would have jumped at the chance. But I’m not that guy and I think that’s partially why mygrandma gave me the key to this place. I know everything has moved pretty fast since we got together. I feel all of these feelings that are overwhelming, and if my mom were still here, she’d probably tell me that no teenagers could actually feel the way I do, but I do. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I smile at him and then I lean forward to kiss him so he doesn’t notice the tears in my eyes. His lips are warm, the heat from his embarrassment is fading, and he moves his hand to my neck, since my hair is up in a bun.
“I really, truly love you,” he whispers against my lips and then he kisses me hard. This is the first time we’ve ever been truly alone. Even in his car, there are other people who could walk by at any moment. But this, right now, we’re alone. I feel an ache in my body that I’ve never felt before; it’s like I can’t get close enough to him. I shift so that I’m in his lap, a movement that makes both of us gasp, and then he’s kissing me again. He moves his hands up and down my back, and it feels like he’s blazing a trail of fire with his fingertips. I lean into him more and hear him groan.
He pulls away from me slightly, our foreheads touching, and I notice how dark his eyes are. “Rosie.” He breathes and I move to kiss him again. “Let’s eat.” His tone is serious, like he’s trying hard to keep all that he’s feeling out of his words. “Please.”
I kiss him softly, one more time. This time, the passion and heat are still there, but it’s slower. He keeps his hands still on my hips, moving only his lips. I ease away from him slowly, and settle back into my space on the floor next to him. I lean against the wall and put my legs across his.
Tucker grabs a carton of chicken and starts eating. I grab an eggroll and he meets my eye.
“I really like kissing you,” I tell him, and he smiles.
“I like kissing you, too, darlin’.” Then, we settle into a comfortable silence while we eat.
22
After we eat,Tucker tends to the small fire and then plays a few songs on his guitar before we decide that it’s late enough to go to bed.
I walk into the bedroom and drop my bag on the floor. “There’s only one bed,” I say, stupidly.
“Um, yeah. Is that alright?” He sounds nervous.
“Yeah, I mean, I assumed we would…” And now my face is red again. “Yes, it’s great.” I smile at him.
“I promise to keep my hands to myself,” he tells me.
“Can we cuddle though?” I ask, innocently.
“Yeah, that’s probably okay,” he says. “The bathroom is through there.” He points to the door on the left side of the room. “If you want to get ready first.”
“Great.” I pick up my bag and walk to the small bathroom. My cheeks are flushed from smiling, and laughing, and just being alone with him. It seems like there hasn’t been a moment like this, ever. As I pull open my bag, I don’t think about what my parents will say if they find out about this, or about Grace and what she’s doing right now.
Instead, I pull out the ‘pajamas’ that Nathanpacked for me.
“Seriously?” I say to myself as I hold up a pair of short shorts and a tank top that I rarely sleep in, even in the summer. It’s freezing up at the cabin, and there doesn’t seem to be any heat except for the fire we just put out in the other room. I cannot go out there dressed in this.
I wash my face and brush my teeth, pacing the tiny bathroom. My dress is comfortable, but I don’t really want to sleep in it, so I change into the clothes Nathan packed for me and open the door.
