Page 61 of Part of Forever
It’s always been you for me, which is why I fought so hard against it.
I dated Shawn as a distraction. We never even kissed. It wasn’t like that—more of a business contract, which I know when you and Grace learn about that you’ll really hate me. So why am I writing it in this letter? Probably because I’ll never give it to you, so it really doesn’t matter.
When I met you, everything changed. I don’t think I realized it at that moment though. It was one of those seemingly insignificant moments at the time. You know the ones—you meet someone new, or you make the choice to go down one road instead of the road you usually take. It doesn’t seem like a big deal until someoneruns a red light.
I feel like that’s what meeting you was like. It was at that moment that everything shifted, even though I didn’t know it yet.
But the thing about soulmates, and I’ve been thinking about this a lot—the thing about soulmates is that they could be anyone. The friend you’ve had forever or maybe the person you met for the first time today. Sometimes a soulmate looks like a best friend, but sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get to fall in love with your person, the one that lights you up and fills you up with this joy that you can’t even explain. They are the ones who understand you better than anyone else in the entire world. And you get to love them and be loved by them every single day.
I’m so grateful I get to be loved by you, even if soulmates aren’t a thing. I hope you’re right and that we get to have forever, cause that sounds pretty great.
I love you.
Love, Rosie
24
We’re allat the beach. Nathan, Grace, Tucker, and me. Tucker’s got his arm around me and Grace is pretending to be fine, even though I know she’s still mad at me. Everything feels almost normal.
It was Grace’s idea to spend the night at the beach. She still wants to hang out, but there’s an underlying tension between the two of us, and the last time I tried to bring it up, she brushed me off and said everything was fine. But it doesn’t feel fine. I want everything to be alright between us, but I don’t know what else I can do to fix the chasm I created.
We have two weeks until graduation and it is finally feeling warmer. We loaded up the back of Tucker’s truck with blankets and pillows and a ton of snacks. Even though it’s been warm during the day, it still gets pretty cool at night.
I think Mom only said yes because she didn’t want to argue with Dad when Nathan asked him.
“Want to get in the water?” Grace asks me.
“Yeah,” I answer, even though I don’t really want to get in the freezing water, but I’m trying to do what I can to get back in her good graces after lying about the tumor.
Tucker moves his arm from around me so that I can get up; I look out at the dark water to avoid looking at Grace as we head toward the waves. Once I figure out how to fix things between us, I’ll try to talk to her again, one-on-one. Until then, we’ll still hang out as a group, but I think everyone can feel how awkward it is right now.
Growing up near the ocean is something I never take for granted. Maybe it’s because of Mom or the stories she tells about Dad.
Dad loves the water.
He’s an artist by nature, but he’s up at the crack of dawn almost every day when the weather’s good, out on the waves. Mom was sad at first that neither Nathan or I had any interest in surfing, but I still love the ocean. She says I get that from Dad.
I take a deep breath of the salty air; the sound of the waves is calming. Back and forth, back and forth as the water tickles my toes. That’s as far as I want to get in, just to my ankles. The sun has barely set, so the sky is on fire with pinks, oranges, and purples and the ocean is already dark.
“I love the beach,” I say, taking in another deep breath. There isn’t anything quite like it—the smell of the ocean and the salt in the air that leaves your hair and skin a little grimy if you stay out too long.
“I’m hungry,” Nathan says from behind us, even though we’ve been eating all the food we brought since we got to the beach two hours ago. Nathan always seems to be hungry.
Tucker wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his back as the cold waves swirl against our feet. He presses his lips into my hair.
We head back to the blanket, where my brother opens another bag of chips.
“We should play Truth or Dare,” Grace announces as she tucks her legs underneath her, criss-cross applesauce. Nathan and Tucker both groan.
“Why?” Tucker asks. “We already all know each other, so truth isn’t even all that fun.”
“So pick dare.” Grace shrugs. “Dares are more fun anyway.”
“Why don’t we play something else?” Nathan suggests.
“Like what?” she asks, and I’ve never been more grateful for Nathan than in this moment. I know exactly what Grace would ask me to do, whether I pick a truth or a dare. She’ll want to call me out on my lie. I know she’s mad at me, but I think she’s also mad at Tucker for not being mad when I told him the truth.
“Like nothing,” Nathan says and I let out a nervous laugh. Grace narrows her eyes at me and I shiver.
