Page 18 of Things I Overshared
Emerson Clark
Chief Financial Officer
Canton Cards International
“No, Mr. Clark, I do not want your feedback on the itinerary! That ship has effin’ sailed, Sir Frozen Tundra!” I snark at my phone as I reread his message.
“Not your strongest nickname,” Skye says next to me on the couch.
I sigh. “I know, I felt it when it came out. Thanks again for coming to hang out here for a change.”
“Of course.”
“You needed a break from the sausage fest at yourfiancé’splace?”
“Sure did. Cannot wait until we move into our new apartment. But! I also felt like your all-caps messages were a cry for help.” I laugh as she takes a scoop out of my pint of ice cream, and I take a scoop of hers. “You really do have your work cut out for you. Remember what he said to me last year after I made him suffer throughonedance with me, just to make Matthew jealous?”
We say together in unison, with an accident, “Miss Canton, I believe I have fulfilled my obligation.”
We crack up. Skye nudges me. “So, what are you going to reply?”
“I’m not.”
“You’re not?” She jerks her head in my direction, surprised.
“No. What am I gonna say? ‘Well, you are my enemy, I don’t excuse you, I don’t want your feedback, and you shouldn’t be looking forward to the activities because they are going to torture you’?” She makes a face that shows she sees my point. “No, I will reply at the office, loudly.”
“What does that mean?”
“What it means is, I’m gonna need you to tell me aaaallll your worst introvert office nightmares so I can bring them to life forMr. Clark.”
Skye’s eyes become slits. “I gotta say I love this dark, scary side of you, sis.”
“Pff. You would, Stormy. You would.”
FRIDAY 7:40a.m.
Me: Operation Rue Day 1
I’ve scheduled two all-office meetings to go over coworker conduct
Where I am going to have them zeroin on commenting on people’s appearances
Susan: I really don’t want to know this
Sadie: OMG this is next level
I’ve also set up our office-wide speakers we’ve never used
Which will now be playing pop music
All.
Day.
Long.
Susan: Please move this to another text thread
