Page 125 of Things I Overshared
Skye moves into the kitchen. “I’ll make more coffee.”
Sally turns to Susan. “Let’s make some sustenance.”
“What about me, what do I do?” I ask.
“You sit and think,” Susan commands.
I shake my head. It’s too weird not to do something helpful. I’m usually the one buzzing around helping one of them. I start to get up, and Susan pushes me back down onto the chair at the kitchen table. “Sit and rest and recover, Sunny Sam. We got you.”
While they scurry around, I decide to brave my phone. I brace myself as I turn it on, for either a confusing text or maybe the pain of nothing from him at all. I experience the latter. There are a million texts from Nicole, a concerned message from Darrin, moral support from Janie, and somewhere are youquips from Trina. The last few replies are quick and simple. I steel myself for the more difficult conversation.
Nicole: WTF??? I hear from Skye that you guys broke up and you went home? Are you okay? Why didn’t you call me?
Why didn’t I call her? I just didn’t want to, I guess. I didn’t call my sisters, either.
Me: Hey, I’m sorry. I’m better now. My sisters all came to visit. My phone has been off all this time.
Nicole: OMG finally!!!! Call me!
Still with my sisters.
I’ll try you later.
But I’m okay.
I’ll be okay.
_________
“This is it! This is genius!” I squeak, looking at the circled words below an entire whiteboard of phrases and scribbles and even a few of Skye’s hilarious doodles.
“I already found a few job postings!” Sally calls from her laptop.
“In Dallas? Or where?” I ask, not making eye contact with any of my sisters as I ask the question.
“You’ve got some options,” Sally says slowly as she keeps scrolling. “See this one? And this one in Tulsa if you want to go home for a while.” She pauses. “There are a couple in New York too.”
“Hmm.” I’m not sure about where. The thought of leaving New York sends a stab through my soul, and I know it’s partially because of one corner office that holds a sulking suited supermodel who keeps half the blinds drawn.
But maybe leaving the city is what I need for a fresh start, a new and improved Sam. I look at Sally. “I think we focus on the job and not the location. I mean, this feels like one thousand percent what I want to do next.”
“Wow, and in just one day. I mean, should we maybe spend some time trying to solve world hunger while we’re all here together?” Skye jokes as she chomps on a chip loaded with an unreal amount of guacamole.
“First, I think we need to help Suze solve her goat issue,” Sadie says as she walks from the white board over to the table where we’re huddled around the laptop.
“Her goat what now?”
I laugh. “I love you guys.”
_________
I sigh a heavy sigh as I flop into bed. Sadie has been busy writing since our three sisters left, and I’ve had time to get lost in thought again. It was exactly what I needed, their visit.
Am I still shattered? Yes. But at least now, after time with them, laughing, planning, being honest about the work stress that’s plagued me for so long, now I have some strength to start picking up all my pieces. The first piece, my career, is coming together. Sadie says I can stay as long as I need, until I figure out where my new job lands me.
I glance at Sadie’s spare closet and see a yellow blouse, and a wave of sadness overtakes me. I may never wear yellow again. No, that’s silly. I will. In time, I will. I shake my head and pick up my phone.
Another quick thing I’m taking control of is my social media. After talking it over with my sisters, I realized I was punishing myself for my mistakes, yes, but also other people’s reactions, their misinformed opinions. I want to have a public place online, for my career, my life. It’s fun, and I miss it. So, I reactivated my Instagram and TikTok accounts today.
