Page 114 of Things I Read About
My oldest sister replies, still too loud. “This isn’t about Nate.”
“And I’m sorry but it’s all of us,” Skye whispers. “But we come bearing coffee.”
“And a variety of chocolatey breakfast items,” Sam sings.
I stay under my pillow. “A what?”
“Yeah, um, Dad and Shep may have… over-corrected a bit,” Sadie says.
“Ugh.”Stupid Nate.This is exactly what I knew would happen. Now it’s going to be ‘We’re Sorry this’ and ‘How Can We Fix It that’ for the rest of my life.
“No.” I sit up. “You guys don’t need to correct.” I look around. They’re all dressed and made up. “What time is it?”
“Late, we’re all leaving soon so that’s why we woke you,” Skye explains. I grab a chocolate covered donut off the plate.
“I think we do need to correct, and I think you do, too,” Sadie says, patting my foot.
Me? I need to correct something?
“Wait, are you sister-ventioning me?”
“Subtle, huh?” Skye laughs.
“First, we are very sorry,” Sam says, serious. “Some of us may or may not have been eavesdropping when you and Nate were up here. And then discussed our many failures at length last night.” She says the words dramatically, eyes wide. She places a hand on her chest. “I know I for one, especially in recent years, haven’t been here for you. I have been so obsessed with my own life I haven’t been a great member of Team Canton.”
“Same,” all three of my oldest sisters say in unison.
Susan sits next to me. “Sally, honey, why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Like what? Hey, red meat really grosses me out?”
“Yes,” they all say, deadpan.
Sadie gets up, energized. “Do you remember with Samantha, we thought she might have aRunaway Bridesituation?”
I nod. “I watched the movie after because I didn’t remember the reference.”
“It’syouwho doesn’t know how she likes her eggs,” Skye says, pointing to the posters on my wall. “Except, instead of losing yourself in your boyfriends, you got lost in us.”
“No. That’s not it.” They all look at me, surprised. “I know how I like my eggs. I don’t, for the record—like eggs. But I mean, I know what I like and what I want, I just haven’t felt the need to correct you. It’s not a big deal, it’s barbecue. It’s f—”
“Do not. Do not say fine.” Susan realizes she’s almost yelling and takes a breath. “I know, we know, that that’s a coping mechanism for you, that phrase, but I’m thinking it’s time you found a new one to replace it with.”
I ponder that idea. I think it so often, it would be an interesting exercise, retraining my neural patterns to—
“Sal,” Skye whispers and touches my arm. I come back to the present, and they are all smiling at me.
“Sally.” Susan works to maintain her even tone, as her eyes mist up. “We love you and we want to know you—you, fully.”
“Not you watered down so as to not bother any of us,” Sadie adds, raising her eyebrows like she’s right. Since she is. Except…
“It’s just that, I mean, I know you guys love me.” I fumble. “And I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful brat here, but you just go overboard and make everything such a big deal. If I said I didn’t like gummy bears anymore it would have been a whole thing.”
“That’s correct,” Skye says. I frown at her. “Hi, we’re the Cantons, welcome.” She gestures around. “It’s not just you Sal. Maybe it’s worse with you, because you’re the baby, but all of us are just… intense.”
“Facts,” Sam says through a bite of some other chocolate covered pastry.
“And.” Susan looks down, her voice quivering. “What he said about Mom. Again, we want to know you, Sally. However much you are like her or not like her. Your brain seems to work a lot like hers, your face looks the most like hers, but you aren’t her. I’m sorry we put that on you.”
