Page 42 of Things I Read About
It’s an actual bear.
We’re going to die.
10
Nate freezes before slowly squaring his body directly in front of me, facing the bear. It’s like he’s moving in slow motion. He starts talking in a slow, quiet voice. “Okay, stay calm. Don’t make eye contact. He’s curious right now, but not threatened.”
“How do you know that?” I whisper yell.
“Calm, Sally. Shh. We’ll just look down, stay still, and he’ll wander away.”
“He’s not wandering away, Nate,” I squeak out as the thing moves closer. “He’s not wandering.”
“Shh, it’s all right, he’s just checking us out.” Nate wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his back.
The bear chuffs and moves closer.
I whimper.
It’s running at us.
Nate stands taller, bracing himself, arms out at his sides, a small knife in his right hand.
And I… I moo.
“What the hell?” Nate mutters as he inches forward, closer to the bear.
“Nate,” I whisper.
He stares the bear down as I hold my breath and pray.Please God, call off your terrifying beast! Please Lord, don’t let Nate get mauled. I’ll start going back to church, I swear.
The bear huffs again. Then turns and meanders away.
I cry out an exhale.
Nate’s firm posture dissolves into a hunched, exhausted position. He turns and glares at me, pissed.
“What part of stay calm did you not understand?”
“I couldn’t.”
He steps toward me. “And did you moo at that bear, Sally?”
I look down, mortified. My voice is high and pinched. “I panicked.”
“And your go-to panic move is to moo?”
“I don’t know anything about animals, okay?”
He laughs, big and loud, his hands on his hips. “Unreal.”
“Stop laughing at me,” I say, but I don’t mean it, because he’s stunning.
“I can’t,” he says through his snickers. He’s got a hand over his face so I can’t see his full smile, but his eyes are scrunched, and he just looks so happy.
I dig for my phone and pull it up to take a photo. It’s dim and blurry. But it’s happy.
“Wow,” he finally says. “I will never forget this as long as I live.”
