Page 60 of Fastball Fever
Amy crosses her arms."I agree, it could get worse.What if he moves beyond THC?What if next time it's something more dangerous?"
The thought knifes a chill through me.I hadn't even considered the possibility.
Phil shuts his eyes briefly, then sighs."All right.We'll set up a sting operation.But you two need to behave normally around Jared, like you don't have a clue what he's up to.If he suspects anything, this plan won't work."
"I can do that," Amy says confidently."Behaving normally, I mean."
Maybe she is confident that our plan will work.But I'm not so sure about myself.Every time I see Jared's face, I want to punch it."I'll try my best.Since I already hated him with a vengeance, he won't be suspicious if I glare at him even harder."
"This is bigger than personal grudges, Charlie," Ray asserts firmly."This is about the integrity of the game and the safety of our team."
Since there's nothing else we can do right now, Phil and Ray gather the entire team in the locker room.They explain everyone will take a random drug test as a new safety feature or…something.I kinda zoned out while the head honchos were talking, lost in my own thoughts.We all submit to the drug tests.But we won't know the results until after tomorrow's game.I'm hoping like hell that I've sweated out the THC by now.
After team practice, I head back to my apartment, my mind spinning with everything that's happened.I'm barely through the door when my phone vibrates.It's Amy.
"Can I come over?"she asks, sounding hesitant."I don't want to be alone right now."
"That's understandable.I'll order us some food while you get your fine ass over here."
Twenty minutes later, Amy is sitting cross-legged on my couch, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.She picks at the label on her water bottle."What if we're wrong?What if the culprit isn't Jared?"
I pause, a slice of pizza halfway to my mouth."The evidence points to him.He had access to our equipment, and we heard him talking about the THC.I'd bet my signing bonus it's him."
Amy wilts against the sofa's back, setting her water bottle on the coffee table."I know it must be him.It's just…this is serious, Charlie.If we're wrong, we could ruin someone's life."
I wriggle up beside her on the couch, near enough to feel her warmth but not quite touching her."You're anxious, I get that.I am too.But if we're right and we don't stop him, he could ruinourlives—or worse."
"Yeah, I understand that.But I'm scared," she admits quietly."Not just about Jared, but about what happens if any of us test positive tomorrow.I've worked so hard to get here, Charlie.What if this is how it all ends?I doubt a disgraced woman coach will get many job offers."
The vulnerability in her voice…it startles me.Amy Keller, the toughest female coach in the MLB, seems uncertain of…everything.I reach out and clasp her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze."We won't end like this, I promise.Ray and Phil know we aren't responsible.They trust us, and they'll fight for us."
She stares into my eyes, unexpectedly vulnerable in a way I haven't seen before."You can't promise that, Charlie.Baseball is still a boys' club in so many ways."
I sidle even closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders."You need to stop imagining every worst-case scenario.Besides, if the tests come back positive for multiple players, they'll have to investigate further.They can't bench the whole team."
Amy lets her head fall back against the sofa."God, I hate this feeling of helplessness.I've never let anyone have this kind of power over me before."
"Yeah, I'm feeling the strain too."I scrape my hands through my hair."Ugh.It's like being back in the minors all over again, waiting for someone else to decide your fate."
We cuddle in silence for a few minutes, the sound of the TV in the background barely registering.Amy's hand is cradled in mine, and I never want to let go.I will need to at some point, obviously, but not yet.
"Charlie, what if we both get kicked off the team?"
I turn to face her."Then we fight it.We get lawyers.We clear our names."
"And if we can't?"
"Then I guess we'll have to figure out what's next together."The words tumbled out before I could stop them."Because whatever happens, we stick together—forever."
She snuggles up to me, curling herself tightly into almost a ball.I kiss the top of her head, combing my fingers through her hair.The gesture seems to soothe her.
Then she wriggles free and leaps off the sofa."I should probably go now."
"Stay with me, Amy."The words came out huskier than I intended."I mean, it's late, and we've both had a hell of a day."
Amy studies my face, and I can almost see her weighing her options."Well, we are engaged to be married.So it wouldn't be inappropriate."She yawns loudly."I'm bushed, anyway.Might as well sleep with my favorite guy beside me."
"I'd really like to sleep with you tonight—just sleep.We shouldn't let this drug-testing thing pull us apart."I lift her hand to my lips, kissing it tenderly."A good night's rest will rejuvenate us for whatever comes next."
