Page 115 of Never Tell Secrets
“I’ll leave the shorts on.” He gave me a reassuring smile. He knew without words that tonight, I wasn’t quite ready for naked Alfie.
He handed me his shirt, gesturing for me to change out of my dress. Dutifully, he turned around while I slipped the dress off and wriggled into his shirt. He turned to find me with my nose in the collar, breathing him in. He ran his gaze over me, coming to rest on my exposed thighs. His jaw clenched but he didn’t move to touch me.
“Areyousure about this?” I asked.
“Terrified.” His jaw clenched again and I realised it wasn’t just desire he was feeling. Alfie had always been the most afraid of the simplest things and had needed me to guide him through those parts of a relationship that would come so naturally to anyone else.
“Don’t be. I’m not. Get the lights?”
I wriggled back in the bed, sliding under the covers as he switched out the lights.
I watched him, waiting for the panic to set in but it didn’t. All I felt was rightness mixed with the butterflies and flushed skin as he slid in beside me. “How do you want me?”
“Can you just hold me? Just while I sleep?”
His eyes softened, warming. He relaxed into the pillows and opened his arms for me. My body wrapped around his, our legs intertwined in a way that had my core aching with a need that would be satisfied another night.
My head came to rest on his chest, the heavy thud of his heart unmistakeable. Once, so long ago, I’d pressed my ear to his chest finding his heart beat racing but when I’d looked up, all I’d seen was a stony exterior. Now, I looked up and instead of the mask, I found his eyes filled with hope. Pulling me closer, he pressed his forehead to mine, nuzzling me.
We were silent in our coming together, our acceptance of the past, the relief of letting it go. He was different and so was I, we wouldn’t hurt each other again, not like that, not anymore.
Just like we’d never been apart, our bodies, our souls fit perfectly together and for the first time in two and a half years, I slept soundly.
I was home.
Thirty-Five
Iawoke with Alfie’s arms warm around me. My t-shirt had ridden up while I slept and I could feel the silk of his skin against my back. I felt the hard bulge through his briefs pressed up against me, nothing but the thin cotton of our underwear separating us.
A prickle of awareness crept up my spine, I felt as though I had crossed enemy lines and was creeping carefully to safety, eyes darting around for any sign of danger or treachery. I waited for Alfie’s hands to move, for his lips against my neck, dark words that would bend my mind to his will…but it didn’t come.
Carefully, I turned in his arms to study him, his eyes drifting open, studying me right back. “Are you panicking?” he murmured.
“Kind of. Did last night really happen?” It all felt so surreal. I’d spent the night with Alfie. After everything he’d done to me, I’d let him back in.
“It did.” He stared at me like he couldn’t believe I was really here, like I might disappear at any moment. “Do you regret it?”
Did I? I was scared but I felt warm, my body somehow sated despite our clothes never coming off. “No, I feel like I’m flying.”
Alfie gave me a sleepy smile. “That’s because the boat is moving.”
“Where are we going?”
“Keira’s. She called while you were asleep, I answered for you. Her parents invited us for breakfast.”
“Us?” I pushed up on one elbow, looking down at him.
“Us,” he confirmed. “You don’t want me to come?”
I frowned, that wasn’t exactly it. “I think that a morning with both you and her parents is Keira’s idea of hell.”
To my surprise, Alfie nodded, seeming to understand. “Well, call her. If she doesn’t want me to come, I won’t.”
I eyed him, looking for some sign that he was hiding annoyance underneath a smooth facade but all I saw was honesty. “Okay, I will.” I settled back into his arms, enjoying the safety I felt.
“I’ve missed you.” His brows creased, a tightness forming in his jaw I didn’t like. I reached up, smoothing the lines away with my thumb. This was scary for both of us. He turned his head, kissing the palm of my hand with lips I knew he wished were pressed to mine. Part of me did too, but I just wasn’t ready to cross that line just yet.
“Call Keira, I’ll see you up top.” He slid out of bed, stretching, the planes of his back flexing in a way that made my mouth water.
