Page 140 of Never Tell Secrets
“So that I couldn’t go back there and would be forced to come here instead?” she asked and I nodded. I watched her, waiting for the blow up but once again, my Lo surprised me. “You don’t need to do that anymore. You want me here, just ask me. Is this what you’re really not ready for? Trusting that I’m yours and letting go of all your schemes to get me back?”
How did she do that? How did she just lay out my innermost thoughts like chalk drawings on the pavement? I frowned, trying to figure out thoughts that she already understood. “Manipulation is my safety net.”
She nodded slowly. “It’s time to work without the net, Alfie.”
I stared up into those clear blue eyes. She was right. It was time to let this go. She wanted to move forward, she wasreadyto move forward. What I’d done, watching her the way I had, was a gross violation, but she didn’t need to know.
It wasn’t hurting her, it was saving me. Having twenty four hour access to her kept me from losing my mind, which enabled me to give her the freedom she wanted. It was time to move on, let the cameras be a separate thing, just one of the many things I shielded her from.
I’d spent days, weeks, fighting this feeling, fighting the cruel eyes of my dead tormentors.
My Lo was here and she wanted me. It was time to take that step with her.
I felt an old part of me rumble awake. The part of me that played harder than anyone else. I was nervous, it always surprised me that sex with Lo could make me nervous.
I gripped her waist, moving her until she straddled me. Her skirt rode up and it was all I could do not to unzip my trousers, rip her tights and have her sink down on me. But I held back, not just because we needed to go slow, but because despite everything, I still wasn’t ready to have her on top. She deserved to be worshipped, not the other way around.
“Let me see if I can still remember how to do this.”
I lifted a leg, nudging her forward until she rested over my growing erection. I watched a shiver tremble through her body, her gaze grow hazy with lust.
Fuck, I’d missed this.
She shifted, almost without meaning to, pressing herself down she rubbed her needy pussy on me. She did it without thought, without intention. I loved her like this, when her instincts took over and she let her wants guide her. Before she could be embarrassed, I encouraged her.
“Again, baby.”
She did as I asked and my cock hardened, becoming steel underneath her. I relaxed back in my chair, running my gaze over her. The swell of her breasts under her sweater, the flare of her hips, the delicate turn of her collarbone, the part in her lips.
Mine, all of it mine.
I wanted to squeeze and kiss every part of her but I held back, taking my time. I needed to re-acquaint myself with her body first.
I released a breath, easing myself back into my old skin. Pressure to get this right weighed heavy and I willed it away. I needed to act on instinct just like the raw creature resting on my dick did.
I let my hands move on their own, drifting to her waist. I squeezed and her breath hitched. I watched her, applying more pressure, her skin flushing as I stole her breath away. She loved the edge.
I let my hands roam again, cupping her heavy breasts. Her thighs tightened as I brushed my thumbs over her swollen tips.
“Alfie…” She gasped.
“Slow…slow your breathing, Lo,” I soothed her, I didn’t want her wild, I wanted her steady and heated, a slow devouring not a manic feasting. “This isn’t going to be quick.”
I cupped her face and the little devil slipped her lips over my thumb, mimicking what I’d never yet let her do to me. She wanted my cock in her mouth and she didn’t even know it but her body did. She gripped my thumb with her teeth, a taunt, a dare.
I rose to the challenge and moved my hand to her throat. Her lashes fluttered but didn’t close, she couldn’t take her eyes off me, couldn’t break this moment. My other hand pulled the tie out of her hair, freeing it. I wound it around my fist and gripped it tight.
I had her now.
Her body became jelly, malleable dough. I could do anything I wanted with it.
She rolled her hips, desperately seeking release that I wasn’t ready to give her. Her gaze dropped to my mouth, she wanted it. She wanted it on her own, she wanted it pulling on her clit until she gushed over me.
I didn’t move, I just watched her, watched her breathe and blink slow.
I’d missed her, I’d missed my girl. I’d missed her body in my arms, a body she’d only returned to me because she trusted me now. Trusted me when she shouldn’t.
I could feel the ghost of my father smirking at me from the screens, laughing at me for thinking I wouldn’t grow up to be a cruel fuck like him.
