Page 155 of Never Tell Secrets
I stared at the envelope and just like that, my stomach began to churn all over again. It was too much of a coincidence and I was a fucking idiot. Again. How hadn’t I seen this?
My fists clenched and the explosion I’d refused to let free threatened to erupt all over again. My throat tight, I turned away and picked up my bag.
“You don’t want to open it?”
“I already know what it says,” I muttered. I heard her snatch up the envelope and tear it open. I headed to my room, I didn’t need to see this.
It was strange seeing Maia’s door open, the shock of seeing her room stripped bare hit me full force. It was as if she’d never been there. She was my friend, a fake friend that Alfie hadplanted inside my home. Somehow, that hurt worse than the cameras. I trusted her. I had very few people in my life that I let in and Maia had become one of them.
“I knew it!” Keira yelled. She stormed down the hallway, appearing in my room a minute later. “I fucking knew it!”
“Keira…” I rubbed my eyes, slumping onto my bed. I couldn’t handle the noise right now.
“Well, I didn’t know it but I knew there was something off about her. Always following you around like a fucking service dog.”
“Keira, please, stop.”
Maybe it was the crack in my voice, I don’t know, but her tirade came to an end. She sat next to me, the letter in her hand. Three words jumped out at me from the page: ‘Sorry’ and ‘Mr Tell.’
“Please tell me I can cut his dick off this time.”
I didn’t laugh and neither did she. I’d told her I was okay, told Kal I was okay. I’d said it to myself a thousand times today.
I’d tried to be rational. Tried to be reasonable but this was the final nail in my coffin.
I wasn’t okay. Not by a long fucking shot.
I fell asleep with Keira’s arms wrapped around me while I cried into my pillow, the two of us squeezed together on my single bed.
I awoke to voices. Keira’s voice and another I recognised. I sat up, the moonlight telling me dawn was still a long way off. I followed the voices and found Keira and Damien fighting in hushed whispers at the front door.
Keira caught sight of me and both of them immediately froze, eyes and mouths so round it was almost comical. “Lo, I’m sorry. I’m trying to make him leave.”
She looked angry and Damien looked panicked. This is what I’d been afraid of. Alfie tainting those around him with his guilt. I still hadn’t decided whether or not to tell Natalie. The stakes were so much higher for her.
“Did you know?” I looked Damien in the eye and saw the guilt there.
“I knew about Maia, I recognised her from his team. Eli knew her too but Kal and Cas had no idea. None of us knew about the cameras. That's a level of fucked up beyond even us.”
He was telling the truth and I was too lethargic to be angry with him. The same couldn’t be said for Keira though.
“You didn’t think to tell us we had a fucking spy living here?” she hissed but he just shrugged and my concern for him being tainted by Alfie’s mistakes ended right there.
“Not my circus, not my monkeys. Besides, she wasn’t spying. Just watching.”
“There’s a difference?” Keira’s voice was tight with barely restrained fury. I closed my eyes wishing I was anywhere but in this reality. When I opened them, they landed on the vase of bleeding hearts Alfie had sent to me a few days ago, resting neatly in the window. I crossed to it, touching the petals, wondering how they could be real when all of Alfie’s words had been lies.
“Yeah there’s a difference,” Damien said. “She was security. Her job was to keep Lola safe, not report back to Alfie. I’m not saying I condone it but I get it. Lola, he was just trying to?—”
Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed the vase and threw it across the room. It hit the floor, shattering with a deafening crash at Damien's feet. I glared at him, daring him to say Alfie’s name one more time. He didn’t need any more hints.
“You and I aren’t finished with this,” he muttered to Keira. She didn’t respond, just showed him the door.
Alone, we stood on opposite ends of the room, staring at the pile of bleeding hearts lying on the floor. Broken. Worthless.
Forty-Eight
Ighost-walked through the week. Alfie sat on the edge of my mind, peering down at me like a gargoyle as I went about my daily life. His lies piled on top of each other, frantic monsters scrambling to eat me up.
