Page 158 of Never Tell Secrets
“No.” I shook my head. “End of discussion.”
“Stop being so stubborn. A few more months until you find a new roommate isn’t going to make a difference to either of us.”
“A fewmoremonths?” I stared at him, a new wave of anger settling in as I realised something I should have figured out sooner.
Alfie let out a small sigh of frustration. “Why is this an issue, Lola?”
“Because it’s my life, I don’t want you paying for it!”
“What about when your life becomesourlife?” He snapped, taking a step closer. “This isn’t about money, it’s about power. I know that my money gives me power, Lo. You need to learn to trust me with it.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “You need to earn that trust.”
He nodded, stepping closer still until he was right up against me. “Agreed. I know I’m asking a lot, asking for more when I’ve already taken so much from you but this is the homestretch.”
I swallowed, fighting every urge I had to run away, to run to him. “I don’t know what more I can give you. I feel empty. You’ve gutted me, Alfie.”
“Just leave the door open. Have faith in me one more time.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I could find a path in front of me that didn’t involve hurt, but I couldn’t. All of them were littered with thorns that would cut my feet, but only one of them had sunlight at the end of it.
“I’ll try.”
His shoulders sagged and his hand clasped mine. “Thank you.” I stiffened at his touch and he let me go immediately. “I’ll see you soon.” He put a hand on the door, pausing before he closed it behind him. “Put the heating on, Lola.”
Forty-Nine
Priya sat in my threadbare armchair, looking oddly at ease despite how crammed it was with three of us in our tiny living space. Keira sat on the couch next to me, tension emanating from her in waves.
I’d asked Priya to hold our session at my home rather than Alfie’s hotel. I was feeling the need to do this on my own turf.
“I apologise for the close quarters,” I said and Priya gave me a warm smile.
“I’m a first generation immigrant with six siblings. Close quarters don’t bother me.” She adjusted her notepad on her lap, her onyx fountain pen at the ready. “So, would you like Keira to be a silent participant in this session or will she be taking part?”
I shared a look with Keira, her expression telling me it was my choice. “She can join in if she wants to.”
Priya nodded, her shrewd gaze shifting between the two of us.
“You don’t think I should be here?” Keira asked.
“I’m wary of Lola using you as a crutch instead of dealing with this on her own.”
“That’s not what this is,” I cut in. “Our friendship suffered the last time Alfie and I were together. I want to make sure we’re solid this time. ”
“I see,” she said, her expression so smooth I couldn’t tell whether she still disapproved or not. “Well, why don’t we start with how Alfie came to tell you about the cameras?”
I took a deep breath, readying myself to dive in. “We were at his house, getting…intimate. He stopped and told me what he’d done.” I felt Keira’s eyes on me, judging or pitying I wasn’t sure.
“Why do you think he did that?”
“Guilt,” I answered. It wasn’t difficult to figure out.
“Why that particular moment though?”
This was where it got tricky figuring out what I could say and what I couldn’t. Priya didn’t know about how Charles and Joseph Tell had died and neither did Keira. His father and brother were part of why that particular moment was the pressure point. I decided to go with an explanation that wouldn’t expose Alfie’s ghosts.
“Alfie built the Never Tell Club from scratch. So much of what they do is based on consent, those are rules set up by Alfie and still enforced by him to this day. What he’s done to me with stealing my pills, the cameras…it goes against his most important values.” I paused, trying to be careful with my words. “He knew that trusting him with my body again was the biggest issue for me, he knew how much it meant. I think sleeping with me knowing he was doing this awful thing was a step too far, he couldn’t go through with it.”
