Page 159 of Never Tell Secrets
Priya looked thoughtful as she processed my words. Keira was quiet, though I could feel her humming with tension.
“Keira, care to share your thoughts?” Of course Priya had spotted that Keira had something to say.
I looked over at my friend, prepared for the onslaught. I gave her a nod, telling her she was free to speak.
“You aren’t the only one he violated, Lo. He filmed me too, he put Maia in my home too.”
“I know. That makes me more angry than anything he’s done to me.”
“I don’t get how you can even think of giving him another chance.” Her voice was soft with sadness. It hurt to hear it.
I looked at Priya, asking for her help to explain something even I didn’t understand but instead of looking at me, she was focused on Keira.
“Keira, why did you give Lola another chance after she broke your friendship two and a half years ago?”
Keira shrugged, not seeming surprised by her question. “We’re lifers, I’ve known her forever. She’s my best friend.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re obligated to keep her in your life. So, what compelled you to forgive her after she’d hurt you?”
Keira frowned, my stomach clenched as I wondered what her answer would be. “I understand her, I guess. After her losses with her family, I get why she got infatuated with Alfie, why she developed this saviour complex with him.”
“Is it possible then that Lola feels the same about Alfie? Perhaps she understands him in a way you don’t?”
“Oh, that’s for sure.” She rolled her eyes, her tone rich with sarcasm that was too filled with pain to take personally. “What do you see in him, Lo? How much does he have to hurt us before you decide enough is enough?”
That was a question I’d asked myself a thousand times. Before I could answer, Priya cut in.
“What answer would satisfy you, Keira? What answer would be enough for you to understand her continuing contact with Alfie?”
Keira frowned again, her plump mouth set in a soft pout. “I don’t think there is one.”
“Then Lola is in an impossible position.”
“Of her own making,” Keira clapped back.
Priya let silence hover over us, a tactical silence meant to test who would break cover first. Neither of us did. “Perhaps we should ask instead what you see in Alfie.”
“Me?” Keira’s brows raised so high I thought they might fly off her head.
“Yes, what do you see in him?”
“I see that he’s manipulative and unstable,” she snapped. My best friend's buttons were being thoroughly pushed. This session wasn’t going at all how I thought it would.
“Anything else?”
“I can see that he’s trying to change but it’s clearly not enough.” I couldn’t argue with that, she was right. It wasn’t enough. But I didn’t know what would be. “What do you see in him?” Keira asked, her dark eyes on Priya. “Is he crazy?”
“No, he isn’t crazy,” she answered calmly. “Much of his behaviour is actually very typical of someone with his upbringing, though no doubt exacerbated by his remarkable intelligence. His lack of coping mechanisms, his narcissism, arrogance, his ability to manipulate, the emotional dysfunction. All of it I expected and can work with, in fact he’s made a great deal of progress dealing with those issues. Where Alfie differs from most people is that he has one specific pressure point that concentrates all of his emotions, good and bad.”
Her silence hung in the air once more, hovering over our heads until finally I said what we were all thinking.
“Me. I’m the pressure point.”
“That’s right. You bring out the best and worst in him, it seems.” She gave me a sympathetic smile. I wondered if Alfie knew he did the same to me too, transforming me into the best and worst versions of myself. Priya straightened, returning her gaze to Keira. “You might wish to punish him, Keira, but I haveno doubt he’s punishing himself enough for all of you. All of that being said, I don’t condone what he’s done in the least.”
“Hence you giving him the boot?” Keira asked.
“Exactly.” She turned her attention to her notepad for a moment, her pen scratching across the page. I wondered how the news of what Alfie had done had affected her. She’d spent two years trying to fix him, this must have been a massive slap in the face.
