Page 173 of Never Tell Secrets
“Thank you for letting Alfie tell me about what happened all those years ago.”
She kept her face an indifferent mask as she finished fixing her hair. “It was the right thing to do and I know you won’t tell anyone. You care about Alfie too much.”
She stuffed her make-up bag in her clutch and returned her gaze to the mirror, running a shrewd eye over herself. Aside from the outfit change and damp tips of her hair, you would never know she’d just had a glass of wine thrown in her face.
“I’m in love with him, you know.” She spoke so softly I barely heard her but there it was, finally out in the open.
“Yeah, I know.”
She stared at her reflection, dissecting it. “I thought that if I waited long enough, if I was the right kind of person to fit into his life…I mean, look at me.”
I let out a laugh. “Yeah, it’s not lost on me that you fit his world better than I do.”
“Then why?” She turned, hitting me with an accusing glare, as if I was the reason he’d never chosen her. “Why you and not me?”
That was a loaded question and the answer was probably going to get me a slap in the face, but it needed to be said. “Because you fit the lifestyle but not the man. It’s not the same thing. Alfie doesn’t fit his own lifestyle in a lot of ways.”
She blinked, as if that thought had never occurred to her before. Despite everything, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her as I watched her realise she’d never stood a chance.
“He’s never going to love me, is he?” I didn’t need to answer her question, she already knew the answer. She turned, a sharp sob escaping as she shed fresh tears. Her shoulders shook with the effort of holding herself together. She straightened her spine,letting her strength shine through. She looked back at me, sad and sorry. “What do I do now?”
“Quit your job,” I shrugged, “and fuck Dexter if he’s single.”
She laughed, dabbing a tear from her eye and checking her reflection again. “Is that what you would do?”
“No, I’d demand a promotion. Becoming a boss in the company your rapist was supposed to inherit? It’s the ultimate power move.”
Rapist.I’d said the word out loud and she hadn’t flinched. Not even a little.
Angie laughed again and for the first time, I saw the woman that Alfie cared about. There was kindness there, I’d just had the misfortune of getting in the way of what she wanted.
“Lola, I’m sorry for the way I treated you. It wasn’t fair.” The stiffness in her voice told me those words weren’t easy to say but I could see she meant them. Did I trust her enough to forgive her? Definitely not. Did I care enough to hold a grudge? Not really.
“Thanks. I get it.”
We stood silent, letting our new truce settle around us.
“Well,” she picked up her clutch, “I should go back to the hotel and you should go and finish your dinner. Alfie will be missing you.”
I let her pass by me before a question that I’d had for a while finally left my lips. “Angie, why did you let Alfie tell me about Charles?”
Angie paused, her shoulders tensing. “Because I care about him more than myself, and seeing him suffer like that…I couldn’t stand it.”
“But, you knew it would drive him closer to me.”
Her sharp eyes softened with sadness. “Please just make him happy.”
“I don’t know that I can,” I answered honestly. “The cameras…I know you must know about that. It might be a step too far into crazy town.”
She nodded again and I knew that she understood better than anyone what it was like to be violated by a Tell man.
“You know, I think he hates himself more for what he’s done to you than for what he did to his brother. After Charles, Alfie was in a dark place for a long time. There were nights I thought he might go crazy. He was obsessed with the company. He worked himself to exhaustion, like it was all penance for what he thought he was responsible for. It didn’t matter how many times I told him it wasn’t his fault, he never listened. His father and brother were evil people and Alfie has still spent twelve years torturing himself over what happened.”
It was strange to hear Angie talking so openly. I stayed quiet, too scared to move in case I spooked her back into silence.
“Over the years, he became where I felt safest. I knew when I was with him, I was protected. He made sure I had everything I needed.”
It surprised me that I didn’t feel jealous, only sad for the woman whose love would never be returned. “I know he cares about you.”
