Page 19 of Never Tell Secrets
Alfie let out a very un-Alfie like snort. “Riley really ran a good guilt trip on you.”
“Don’t take this out on him.”
“I won’t, don’t worry.”
I narrowed my eyes. Was he telling the truth?
“He’s my friend, I wouldn’t do that, Lola.” I didn’t bother pointing out that I had been his girlfriend and it hadn’t stopped him hurting me. His mention of Riley brought a fresh wave of worry over me. Did Alfie know Riley was Ryan’s father? If he did, was he going to use that to his advantage somehow?
I stilled, trying not to let my fears show. Another silence fell over us as I tried to figure out where to take us next. I went to the most important place first.
“I’m assuming you know that Elliot came clean about what happened with Adam.” My voice cracked on his name and Alfie caught it, wincing. He nodded. “I need you to tell me what happened.” He hesitated and I prepared myself to gouge the information out of him. I was surprised when the words came freely.
“Do you remember our first date, when I took you to L’Amour?” he asked and I nodded. Of course I did. “It was the first time you told me about Adam. After that, I had Elliot dig into him. It turns out, you weren’t the only girl he was…persistentwith. He’d been arrested on rape charges about six months before you and I met. The charges didn’t stick, lack of evidence, but I believe they were true.” My mouth ran dry as I processed his words.
“He raped someone?”
“A female colleague.”
My stomach roiled. That had almost been me. Could I have prevented it? If I’d tried harder with the police, if I’d done something, anything? But what more could I have done? I’d been to the police station to try to file a restraining order but had gotten nowhere.
Has he assaulted you?No.Has he threatened you?No.Is he stalking you?Kind of. He just shows up at my workplace, leaves notes on my car and gifts on my doorstep, that sort of thing.So…you’re upset because he gives you too many gifts?
That was what it had boiled down to. I remembered wishing that he would do something worse so I could at least have some evidence for the police. But he took that ‘something worse’ and threw it at someone else…because he couldn’t take it out on me.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“I know that,” I snapped and instantly regretted it. I didn’t know what riled me more, hearing my own thoughts spoken out loud or the fact that Alfie could still read me so easily. I’d hoped that power would have faded with time, but I guess that had been foolish of me. I took a calming breath, reigning my emotions in so I presented a smooth exterior to Alfie. I motioned for him to continue.
“I wanted to put a team on you immediately but I knew you would hate that so I held off. That was my mistake.” He sat quiet for a moment, I could see the memory of my bruised cheek and torn shirt in his eyes. “After he attacked you I had him under 24-hour watch and what my team saw him doing had them concerned…” He trailed off and I prepared myself to drag information out of him like I used to, but once again, he spoke without my prodding. “Elliot informed me that Adam was making certain arrangements. He believed that he was planning to attack you again, to hurt you seriously this time. He had rope, plastic sheeting?—”
“Stop.” I bit the word out, unable to hear anymore. I didn’t need all the details. Alfie sat in silence. Before, he would be on me by now. Before, he wouldn’t have had any conversation with Adam’s name in it at all. I looked up at him as he sat patiently, waiting. He wasn’t pushing, wasn’t manipulating the conversation or hiding truths. It was unnerving. I nodded at him to continue.
“I instructed Elliot not to take any further action. I had a team with you to keep you safe and planned to have you out of the country by the end of the week. Unfortunately, Adam movedquicker than we thought.” He took a sip of his water, his eyes never leaving my face. They hadn’t wavered from me since the second I stepped into the room.
“Encouraged by too much alcohol, he took a knife and went to your home. Elliot watched him scope out your house, expecting that once he realised you weren’t there he would leave. But Adam hadn’t gone there for you. Elliot watched him wait until your nephew was in bed. While your sister was upstairs he tried to get in through an unlocked kitchen window. Elliot realised then that he was planning to attack your sister, I suppose out of frustration that he couldn’t get to you. Elliot was done with the warnings. Before Adam could get through the window he came up behind him and broke his neck. He took his body back to his house and staged the accident. The rest you know.”
I sat there in stunned silence. Adam had planned to hurt my sister. I had brought that monster into our lives. What was wrong with me? Why did I attract crazy people?
I sipped my water, trying to calm my raging nerves. This was all so insane. I felt terrified all over again, scared as if he might suddenly creep up behind me and attack me again. He was gone, he wasn’t coming back, but that wasn’t my fault either so why did I feel guilty about it? It felt wrong to feel relief over the death of another human being.
“It’s okay to feel conflicted about his death,” Alfie said. I stiffened. There he was, reading me again. I thought my shield was strong, but I guessed Alfie's x-ray eyes could penetrate anything. “When Elliot told me what he’d done, I was angry but relieved. I had inadvertently caused the death of another person. But you were safe, along with every other woman he would ever have come into contact with. I tried to justify it that way and it helped a little.”
“You’re giving me lectures on healthy emotional processes now?”
He gave me a wry smile. “The irony isn’t lost on me but I might have learned a thing or two during our time apart.” I shook his words off of me. I didn’t want to know what that meant. “Can I ask how you knew I was lying about my role in his death?”
“I didn’t, I just suspected. That night when we…when we separated. My trust in you was broken. I felt violated, lied to. It made sense then that you could do something like that but later, weeks and months later, in the calm light of day, it made less and less sense. I started to piece some things together. I thought about Elliot saying after Adam attacked me that he should have broken his neck. And then I thought about you, about that moment when I asked you if you were responsible. You paused and I watched you calculate everything. I watched the resignation on your face as you made the decision to lie to me, knowing that would mean losing me. I remembered you comforting me and helping me to leave you.” I took a breath, “Thank you for doing that for me.”
“It was the least I could do,” he whispered. I nodded, yes, I supposed it was.
“I think it’s time that we both moved on from Adam’s ghost,” I said softly. Adam had been a rotten apple. A rotten apple that I’d spent too much time chewing on.
“Agreed.” He shifted in his seat, moving to lean in before correcting himself and sitting back. He was keeping his distance and struggling with it. The table length was for my benefit.
Alfie…
Again, he said nothing, letting me own the room.
