Page 40 of Never Tell Secrets
I followed him down the hallway. Floor to ceiling windows framed the blaring sunrise. It felt strange to be going to bed now, as if I was seeing the sunrise the wrong way round. There was a narrow staircase at the end of the hall that I almost didn’t see. I followed him up, feeling the close quarters. At the top was asmall landing, a round, high window ahead of me, and two doors either side. He nodded at the door to my right.
“That’s a small sitting room. You can work, read, watch television, whatever you’d like.” He turned to the door on our left. “This is your bedroom.” He felt along the top of the door frame and produced a key. He twisted the key in the lock and opened the door but didn’t go in. He turned to me, giving me ago aheadlook.
I twisted my hands as I stepped inside, unable to make out much in the dark. I heard Alfie flick a switch behind me and my eyes went wide as I took in my surroundings. I was in a whole new world. A far cry from his monochrome mansion, this bedroom was alive with colour. I turned, taking everything in. The walls were accented with a light floral wallpaper, and the bed had a blush pink canopy. On the wall was framed art that seemed vaguely familiar.
“Are those…?”
“Your original sketches of our Evergarden,” he said softly. My breath stole away as I stared at them, the memories they evoked swarming me. He’d saved them.
“You did this? When?”
“I’ve been working on it for the last couple of years.”The last couple of years?I turned to look at him, and he gave a tiny shrug. “Just in case.”
He’d been doing a lot of things ‘just in case.’My chest ached to go to him but I stayed put, wrapping my arms around myself.
“It’s beautiful.” After the cool elegance of the rest of the house, this room radiated warmth. He’d done this for me. The house was his cool, grey heart, and this room was me, the only part of that vital organ that was warm and alive. He watched me carefully from the doorway, taking in my every reaction. “Why are you standing by the door like that?”
“Because this is your room. I want you to have a space here that’s only yours.” He pulled the key out of the door and handed it to me without stepping inside. I took it, pleasure shuddering through my body as our fingertips touched. “You’re the only one with a key now. I promise I won’t ever come in here unless you invite me.” He looked thoughtful. “The next few weeks and months, maybe years, are going to be difficult as we fix things between us. You’re going to need space from me sometimes.”
His words turned my stomach over. This is what I‘d been so afraid of. I’d opened the door a crack and now he was throwing it wide open and forcing his way in. “Alfie, we aren’t?—”
“We’ll talk when we’ve both rested. I need to think, and so do you.” Why did that sound like a threat? He must have seen my fear because his expression softened a little. “One day you won’t be so distrustful of me.” He reached out a gentle hand but paused, inches away from my face. “Can I touch you?”
I swallowed, my heart thudding in my chest. My sanity screamed no but I gave him the smallest nod. Carefully, as if approaching a wounded animal, he reached out and gently stroked his fingers over my cheek. I shivered at the contact, closing my eyes. My reaction was a reminder of the devastating effect he could have on my body.
“I feel it too, Lo. I touch you and I feel you everywhere. Look at me.” I lifted my gaze to his. “I’m going to fix this. I’m going to become the man you need. I swear it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I know. I’m going to prove it to you.” He cupped my face. “Sleep, O’Connell.” He pulled away and closed the door behind him. My knees trembled, my hands shook.
Alfie…
He was saying all the right things, making all the right moves. My body sang for him, yearning to take him to my bed. Luckily, my sanity was a well-honed muscle now, a boss bitch that shehadn’t been before. Alfie Tell had screwed her over once already, and she wasn’t about to be taken advantage of again. I’d chosen to comfort him, I’d chosen to stay the night, but that didn’t mean I’d forgotten who he was and what he was capable of.
The room was beautiful, his confessions tonight had moved mountains, and all his words echoed what I’d dreamt of, but that didn’t stop me turning the key in the lock and twisting the handle to make sure that door wasn’t opening while I slept.
Fourteen
Iawoke, disoriented and confused. Where was I? I sat up in the plush bedspread, trying to place myself. When I saw my Evergarden sketches on the wall it all came flooding back to me.
Alfie…
The soft October sun shone through the window, telling me I’d slept most of the day away. I blinked sleep out of my eyes and checked my phone. I found a brief“K”from Keira in response to the text I’d sent telling her where I was, which told me she hadn’t been so drunk last night that she’d forgotten to check in with me before she passed out. Or that she was so angry with me for going to Alfie’s house that she was saving the blow up for when I got home. I was hoping for the former.
I looked around myself for a moment, unsure what my next move should be. How the hell had I ended up here? I had been so determined to keep Alfie at a distance but last night...nothing could have prepared me for last night. He had cracked himself open and allowed me to walk right in, and what I’d found inside had been worse than I could have imagined.
I tried to process everything I had learned but I couldn’t, what Alfie had done was too much to comprehend so quickly. Iresigned myself to the long haul. This wasn’t gonna settle in my mind overnight. But...now what?
I looked around the room, at the detail, the thought that had gone into it. He had done this for me without knowing if I would ever set foot in it... but did it matter? I steeled myself against the emotions that stirred inside. Alfie could make grand gestures easily, he could always get it right when he wanted to. I'd never doubted his feelings for me. That wasn’t the problem.
Manipulation and lies was the problem, and knowing how deep his propensity was for both had me looking at the room differently. Had me wondering if this was just a ploy. Lull me into a false sense of security and thenBAM, mental mind fuck all over again.
Besides that, the room on its own had me feeling uneasy now that I was seeing it in the clear light of day. This wasn’t normal. It was supposed to be romantic and thoughtful, but this level of obsession was so deeply unhealthy.
Sick of my spinning mind, I got out of bed. First stop, bathroom. There were two doors leading off the room, one I discovered was a walk-in closet and dressing room, the second a parisian-esque bathroom with light gold finishings and a slipper tub. It was pretty and warm.
Of course, my products were already in there. Shampoo, conditioner, my favourite body wash. My makeup too, right down to the shade. This behaviour had unnerved me once but I knew Alfie so well now. He was a man of details. He paid attention to every part of me and the scared part of me wished he would stop. It made me feel too special. Like I mattered. Like I was going to get hurt again if I let him in.
