Page 66 of Never Tell Secrets
“What should I wear?”
“I’d like you to wear the pale blue dress you had on the first time we saw each other again, but as part of my personal growth I have to tell you that it’s your choice and I respect your decisions.”
I sat there in silence. Everytime I thought I’d gotten used to how much Alfie had changed, he delivered a whole new layer of development. “So, that’s it? You’re just not going to try to control me anymore? Really?”
“That’s the idea. No more toxic fights over my manipulative behaviours.”
“Huh. So, what are we going to do for fun now?” Alfie choked on a laugh and I couldn’t help but smile at the sound. “I’ll see you Saturday. Have a safe trip.”
Twenty-Three
The week passed by in a slow blur, life feeling somewhat normal knowing that Alfie was in a whole other country. Keira was gone more than ever, working or partying I didn’t know. I kept up with her as much as she could but when I did catch a moment with her, she seemed distant. Maia was her usual self, a silent roommate who only left her room occasionally to eat and drink. It was like living with a hungry ghost.
Saturday night rolled around and I was once again faced with the choice of whether or not to do what Alfie wanted. I stared at the dress he’d requested I wear. So seemingly inoffensive. But putting it on made a statement. My hair and makeup were fixed, Alfie would be here any second and here I stood, in my underwear, locked in indecision.
The knock at the front door sent my anxiety into overdrive. Without thinking, I threw the dress on my bed and pulled out a similar one in forest green. I could hear Maia answering the door as I wrestled it over my head. It was too tight and I tugged at it, yanking it over my hips. The zip pinched at my waist as I tried to fasten it. I should have just worn the blue. I was about to pull it off but the knock at my bedroom door gave me no time tochange. I opened the door and there he was, in all his grey suit glory.
“Hey,” I breathed.
“Hey, yourself.” He ran his gaze over my dress as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Suddenly my bedroom felt very small. “Feeling rebellious, huh?”
Ignoring his comment I turned and began throwing my phone and essentials into my clutch. “How was your trip?”
“Boring.” He looked over my chaotic mess of a bedroom.
“I’m guessing you hate this room worse than my old one.”
“I wish you didn’t live like this, but I don’t hate it.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, something was off. The first time Alfie had been in my home, he’d run his x-ray eyes over every inch of it, gathering every piece of information he might need about me. The first time he’d been in my bedroom, he’d done the same thing but this time, nothing. As if he’d already seen it and there was nothing new to learn.
“Well, good. I’m ready, I just need shoes.” Before I could move, he opened the closet door to his right, revealing my shoe collection in a mangled pile at the bottom of it. I stared at him. “How did you know my shoes were in there?”
“Where else would they be? There isn’t exactly a walk-in wardrobe.” He knelt, selecting a pair of black pumps. “These?”
I took them from him, slipping them onto my feet. He picked up the abandoned blue dress from my bed, I watched him finger the material.
“Why didn’t you wear it?”
“Because I wanted to wear this one instead.”
“Bullshit.” He scowled at me. “You don’t even like it as much. You’re holding yourself different–is it uncomfortable?” He ran his gaze over my body, landing on my waist where the material pinched.
For once, I found myself wishing Alfie was a normal, oblivious guy. “Why do you have to see everything?”
“Why do you have to be so stubborn?”
“I’m not, I?—”
“It’s just a dress, Lola,” he cut me off. “It doesn’t mean I won. Not anymore.” I studied his gaze and I wasn’t sure what lingered there. Embarrassment? Pain at the memories of how he made me the paranoid creature I was now. I felt the pain of those too. The ease with which he could manipulate me was a constant reminder that I couldn’t trust this man.
“You can’t blame me for?—”
“I don’t,” he cut me off again. “I know this is my fault.” He sighed, looking down at the crumpled material in his hands. He looked so tired, like the weight of the world was so heavy and it all rested on his shoulders. He handed me the dress. “I’ll meet you outside.”
Five minutes later, I stepped outside to find Alfie leaning against his car, his eyes lighting up when he saw me wearing the blue dress. It felt good to see him looking at me like that, but that good feeling was immediately followed by dread creeping up my spine. Despite the nagging sense that I was inching towards danger, I put my shoulders back and walked down the steps to meet Alfie at his car.
“You look beautiful. May I?” He lifted his hands to my hair, waiting for my permission. I nodded. Slowly, he removed the grips that were pinning my hair in place until it fell loose around my shoulders. He ran his fingers through a lock. “I missed your hair.”
