Page 68 of Never Tell Secrets
He settled into his seat and I watched a curious kind of calm smooth over him as the notes echoed up to the arched ceiling. I didn’t know why, but Vivaldi did something to him.
For once, I stopped thinking. I stopped worrying about everything that we were and had been and might be. I just let us be, his hand in mine and centuries old notes cocooning us with their sweet cacophony.
Spring turned to Summer turned to Autumn and finally Winter and I grew ever more aware of Alfie’s body next to mine, of all the things his hands could do were they to slip under the blankets. No one would know, but he didn’t try, not once. His eyes fixed on the orchestra like he couldn’t look away. He was a man entranced.
I didn’t want the music to end. I wanted to stay here lost in this simple moment forever, but I knew I had to come back. Vivaldi eased me back to earth with gentle beats until my feet came to rest softly on the ground again. The final note played and I clapped as the conductor gave us a short bow.
“That was incredible!” I exclaimed, my voice echoing around the room far louder than I intended. I heard a chuckle from the stage and caught a few amused glances. I guess such exquisite music was an everyday occurrence for them, but I’d never been to anything like this in my life. “Thank you so much for bringing me.”
“My pleasure.” His eyes fell to my lips before he broke away. He stood. “Come on, let's go before you freeze.”
“Can they play something else?”
“Another time.”
Reluctantly, I followed him. As sad as I was to leave, I was grateful to be back in the warm interior of the car. Alfie pulled out, winding us back down the deserted road.
“So, why Vivaldi? Why does that piece of music mean so much to you?” There was a pause as he debated whether or not to tell me the truth.
“My mother told me once that she played it to her stomach when she was pregnant with me.” The revelation stunned me.
“I thought you didn’t like your mother.”
“I don’t, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love her. When I listen to Vivaldi, it reminds me there was a time when she loved me too.” My heart hurt for him, I’d only had twelve years with my mum, but at least those had been full of love. I’d take that over a lifetime of cold indifference.
“Why doesn’t she like you? If she did that when she was pregnant then she must have cared for you once.”
“I don’t know.” He sat quietly, staring into the dark night as he drove. “My whole family is cold, distant. Despite what Ibecame later, I was never like that as a child. Perhaps I was too much, perhaps I was a disappointment. I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I didn’t know how Alfie could have been a disappointment. It didn’t make sense to me.
“So am I, but it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Despite not having you back, I feel lighter than I used to.”
“You seem lighter.” It was true, he did. Some moments weighed heavy and he always looked tired from working so much, but overall, he was lighter. “So, where to now?”
“That’s up to you. I can drive you home or I can take you to my place and you can spend the night.”
I considered my options. Despite my fear, I wasn’t ready for the night to be over. I took a deep breath. “Your place.”
“Good girl.” With just those two words, everything south clenched. I arched an eyebrow at him and he smirked. “Sorry. Old habits.”
“What is it?” Alfie asked as I looked around the cold monochrome hallway of his mansion. Those strange black squares were the only things breaking up the monotony of the white walls.
“Just remembering how much I hate your house.” I peeked at him to see if he was offended but he wasn’t.
“Like I said, throw paint at the walls if you want. I don’t care.” He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Are you hungry?”
“Not really.”
“We could watch a film, if you want to.”
I raised my eyebrows at Alfie Tell volunteering to spend a few hours staring at a screen. “Right, in your own private cinema?”
“I’ve never used it. You, uh, you like films.”
“Yes, Alfie. I like films. Me and the rest of the human population.”
He rolled his eyes. “So, we could watch one? And eat…popcorn?”
