Page 7 of Never Tell Secrets
By the time I got home I was impatient to give Keira my news. She was working on a new production ofOliver Twistand wouldn’t be home till late but maybe I could persuade Maia out of her room to celebrate with me. I uncorked a bottle of wine and was just pulling two glasses out of the cupboard as the doorbell rang. I opened the door and found Riley on the other side. My heart leapt into my throat, my hand tightened on the door handle. Immediately I looked behind him, searching.
“He isn’t here.” Riley caught me out but I was too nervous to be embarrassed.
“You shouldn’t be here either,” I said, my voice as firm as I could make it. “Also, how do you know where I live? Actually, I don’t want to know.” I put my hands up. I needed out of this situation. Fast. “You need to leave.”
“I know you don’t want to see me and I’m sorry for coming at you like this, Lola, but I—” He cut off at the sound of Maia’s footsteps coming down the hall. She came to stand at my side, eyeing Riley over my shoulder.
“I think she made herself pretty clear,” she said, her voice cool and steady. Riley looked between the two of us.
“I just want to talk.” He gave me a pleading look that tugged on my heart. I should tell him to go to hell but none of this was Riley's fault. We’d been friends once and I hated seeing suchdespair in his eyes. Knowing that I was bound to regret it, I wilted.
“I’ll be fine,” I told Maia. She didn’t look convinced but she didn’t fight me on it.
Not wanting anything connected with Alfie in my home, I stepped out onto the street. “Riley, whatever you’re going to say?—”
“You’re a pain in the arse, you know that?” Okay…that wasn’t what I’d expected.
“I’ve been told,” I said slowly. “I’m not quite sure what you’ve got against me, though.”
“My friend's life being in the shit. That’s what I’ve got against you.”
He was joking. He had to be. I folded my arms, those fuzzy sentimental feelings I’d had dying a quick death.
“Yeah, he seems like he’s really struggling. Didn’t he just appear on the cover of Forbes magazine. Again?” It was a dumb argument and I knew it. Alfie hated his work, the fact that he’d somehow managed to double his net worth in the last two years was a sign that he was, in fact, not okay. I didn’t want to think about that though. I couldn’t afford any room for empathy.
The knowledge of his success wasn’t the result of voluntary research. Three days ago, I’d spent an hour on the tube avoiding Alfie’s hauntingly beautiful face on the front page of a copy of Forbes that the passenger opposite was reading. I hadn’t realised back in the bubble of my tiny town just how famous he was. Or, infamous rather.
“Yeah, he’s crushing it. He’s working himself into the ground so he doesn’t have to think.” Riley sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “He doesn’t talk, Lola. He was never the chattiest person in the world but he would talk to me. Never about anything personal but about inconsequential shit. Eversince you and he broke up, he’s just…” He trailed off and I let him. I didn’t want to know what Alfie was now.
“Why is any of this my fault?” I snapped. I hadn’t even laid eyes on Alfie and he was already too close. Already spoiling things. I should be inside celebrating a massive achievement and instead I was out here, talking about a man that I should have forgotten two years ago.
“Look, I don’t know what happened between you and I’m not trying to find out?—”
“Then what do you want?” My voice cracked in a way that made me hate myself. I couldn’t be weak over Alfie ever again.
I wanted to tell Riley everything Alfie had done to me, but he was a part of Alfie’s life, not mine. It didn’t feel right.
“He’s my friend, Lola, and he’s suffering.” I didn’t want to give in but the look in his eyes was pure and begging for my help.
I tightened my arms around myself, the fresh autumn breeze nipping at me. The thought of Alfie in pain was hellish. I thought of him bent under a stream of boiling water, scalding himself in penance for what he’d done to me. Old instincts told me to go to him, that he needed me, that it was my fault because if I’d just…
NO!I gritted my teeth, angry that he wasn’t even here and I could feel him manipulating me. I forced the image away. If he was suffering it wasn’t my fault.
Riley sighed again and I noticed for the first time how tired he looked. “I need to show you something,” he said, his voice soft, as if he was too worn out to fight with me. I stiffened. No. No way was I going anywhere with him. “I know you don’t trust him, but I hope you still trust me.”
“Trust you? A man who’s here doing his friend’s dirty work?”
“Lola, if Alfie knew I was here he would knock me into next week. You think this is the first time I’ve tried to see you? He’s had me apprehended twice. Scooped up by his security team and dumped on a private jet, flown to wherever he is just so that hecan chew me out. Hethreatenedme, Lola. He threatened to end my career if I contacted you. It’s insane.He’sinsane. And he’s scaring me…” He paused, running a hand over his sharp jaw. I could see the worry in his eyes, the guilt that he was here at all. “I know this is hurting you but I have to try. Alfie came through for me once when I needed him most. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try to do the same for him.”
Had Alfie really stopped him from coming to see me? I didn’t know, but what I did know was that Alfie had kept to his word. Two years, four months, and he hadn’t darkened my doorstep once.
“I can’t see him, Riley.”
“I swear he won’t be there. This isn’t a trick. I just need you to see something. Please, just come with me, I can have you back by morning.”
Don’t do it. Do not do it.
Do it. You need to find out what he wants to show you.
