Page 85 of Never Tell Secrets
“So should you. Let me guess, you’re at the office?”
“An empire can’t run itself.”
“You’re going to die in that office chair, you know that?”
He gave a low chuckle. “Go to bed, Lo.”
“Can you stay with me?” The question was out of my mouth before it had formed in my mind, as if my body was taking over, stating its wants and telling my brain to shut the hell up. “Justwhile I fall asleep?” I amended. “We don’t need to talk, can you just be here?”
There was a pause and for one long moment, I thought he was about to turn me down, but then he spoke. “Put me on speaker.”
I did as he asked.
“Are you in bed?”
“Yeah. I just can’t sleep.”
“Close your eyes. Let me see if I can get this right.”Get what right?Before I could ask, he continued, his voice low and gentle. “I want you to imagine you’re in your bedroom at my house. Your nightmares are worse than usual, you’re worrying about your project, about Natalie and Ryan, about Keira. You toss and turn, your mind so restless you can’t relax.”
“Alfie, what are you doing?”
“Just humour me, okay?” He sounded determined but the shake in his voice betrayed his nerves. “I come home late from work and as soon as you see me, the tension begins to leave you. I strip out of my clothes and slide in bed beside you. You nestle into my arms, the safest place in the world because in your imagination, I’ve never hurt you. I’ve never lied or let you down. I’m your safest place.”
My heart swelled as I realised what he was doing. He was doing for me what I’d done for him so long ago, giving back what I’d given to him that night I’d told him about the Evergarden. The night he’d said was the best of his life.
“Imagine my skin touching yours, imagine—” his voice broke off and my heart broke with it. He was trying so hard. “Imagine it doesn’t scare you. Imagine you rest your head on my chest and the steady rhythm of my heart soothes you to sleep. I brush my fingers along your spine, coaxing the tension away. I kiss the top of your head, pulling you as close as I can. Sleep takes you so deep your ghosts can’t haunt you.”
His voice was so soothing, like warm milk. I nestled into my pillow, my eyes growing heavy, my warring thoughts and jangled nerves settling as he spoke.
“Imagine your hair isn’t red anymore, but a soft grey and our bodies aren’t strong like they used to be, but we don’t care, because this is how we’ve spent every night of the rest of our lives, just because I saw a girl and knew she was mine and you saw a man and knew he was your safest place.”
The picture he painted burned bright in my mind, the image so powerful. Could we really have that? The hope that we might one day was almost too painful to bear.
“Alfie…”
“I’m here, I’ll always be here.” He didn’t want me picking his fantasy apart as he knew my insecurities were about to do. “Sleep, baby.”
I snuggled under the duvet. Alfie didn’t speak again, but he stayed with me and somehow, the thought of him back in my bed, back in my life, didn’t seem as terrifying tonight as it once had.
Twenty-Seven
The next morning I found Maia at the breakfast counter, frowning at her phone as she ate her toast.
“Morning, I think your nephew sent you another letter.” She nodded at the post pile and the dinosaur-covered envelope sitting on top.
“Thanks.” I picked it up, smiling at my address written in clumsy handwriting and the stamp stuck on at an odd angle. Maia stood, picking up her half-eaten toast to finish in her bedroom. She had a habit of making herself scarce when Keira or I entered a room. At first I’d found it odd but I’d grown used to it and now just assumed it was a trait of an extreme introvert. But there was something I wanted to speak to her about first.
“Hey Maia, I just wanted to apologize for never checking in with you after the night at the Never Tell Club.”
She frowned. “Why would you need to do that?
“It was a lot to take in,” I shrugged, “and you don’t know Alfie or anything about that place. It must have been a shock, I should have made sure you were okay afterwards.”
Maia stared at me, her dark eyes watchful but she didn’t say anything.
“Were you…um…okay?”
“Yeah, I was okay.” She nodded. “I had a good time.”
