Page 96 of Never Tell Secrets
We settled in next to each other, her hand slipping into mine as we shared her pillow. We lay there in silence for a while, staring up at the ceiling. I had to be at work in a while but I had time. Right now, I needed to be here.
I was desperate to pepper her with questions but Alfie had told me to let her come to me, so that’s what I was going to do.
“Lo?” Her voice was soft, sleepy.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“I’m really angry with you.” There it was, out in the open. I breathed a sigh of relief. If Keira was done with me, she would pretend everything was fine and shut me out.
“That’s fair.”
“I’m going to be angry for a while.”
I squeezed her hand, relaxing as I felt our friendship slot back into place. “That’s fair too.”
“And I don’t wanna talk about it.”
I turned my head, trying to catch her eye but she avoided my gaze. “About the thing with Damien?” I asked and she nodded. “Okay. I won’t ask again.”
She looked back at me then, brows raised. “That’s it?”
“Alfie told me to give you space.”
She narrowed her eyes.“Really?”
“Yeah, he was...um, not happy about last night. Said I violated your right to privacy.”
“Wow,” she muttered, turning to resume staring at the ceiling, “never thought I’d agree with Moneybags.”
I wondered if there was the slightest chance that she was coming around to hating Alfie a little less than she had before.
I squeezed her hand, her thumb rubbing gentle circles over the back of mine. We’d laid like this a thousand times growing up, Keira called it our straightening out time. When things were hard, we just snuggled up together and were quiet, sorting out our own thoughts in silent support until we were ready to face the world again.
We’d done it when my dad left, when my mum died and later my gran. We’d done it when Adam had turned my life upside down and again when I discovered I had a sister. We’d done it when Alfie had torn my heart to pieces. Except, this calm quiet had come later, those early months had been Keira holding me as I sobbed and cursed and screamed through nightmares, as I threw up nothing but pain and sorrow.
Afterwards, things were never really fixed, that wasn’t the purpose of straightening out, we just felt stronger after. I had her and she had me and whatever it is we would figure it out.
The problem was that even after all the trouble I’d caused last night, I was still no wiser about what was wrong with my best friend.
“Keira, I’m not gonna push you to talk about whatever is going on with you, but do I need to be worried?”
“No. I haven’t been assaulted if that’s what you mean. I’m just...working through some shit.”
“Maybe you should get out of London for a while like you said last night. Give yourself some headspace.”
She nodded, humming in agreement. “I have a break coming up. My show just ended and I don’t have another one for a few weeks. Can you come with me?”
I had work but Imani didn’t need me. At this point, that job was almost entirely for show. Imani would be fine without me for a few days, she probably wouldn’t even know I was gone.
“Of course. Where do you want to go?”
“Greece.”
I turned to look at her again, surprised. “To your parents' place?”
“Yeah,” she lifted one shoulder in a tired half-shrug, “unless you wanna pay for a hotel room?”
I didn’t. Keira had savings but spending it on a hotel when we could stay with her parents for free made no sense. “Book the flights.”
