Page 14 of Bonds of Pain
My eyes move to a twin bed pushed against the wall, where a familiar form nestles under a pile of blankets and pillows. Cillian. His pale hair splays across the pillow, his face relaxed in sleep.
Something twists in my chest at the sight of him. Not just because of our bond, but because of the stark contrast between his quarters and Logan’s. This tiny room attached to the prince’s chambers speaks volumes about their relationship, about Cillian’s place in Logan’s life.
It’s bad enough that Logan insisted on keeping their bond a secret, he couldn’t even do Cillian the damn courtesy of letting him have his own room.
Always close at hand. Always available. But separate. Secondary.
I might actually pity Cillian if he were anyone else.
I move deeper into the room, drawn to a small bookcase crammed with actual paper books, a luxury few people bother with anymore. My fingers reach out to touch the spine of one particularly worn volume.
“Don’t touch that.”
I jump, heart leaping into my throat as I spin around. Cillian sits upright in bed, fully awake now, his ice-blue eyes fixed on me with a glare that could freeze fire.
“Sorry,” I stammer, pulling my hand back like I’ve been burned. “I didn’t mean to?—“
“What are you doing in here?” His voice is rough with sleep but sharp with irritation. The blankets have fallen to his waist, revealing a bare chest marked with old scars I hadn’t noticed before.
What am I doing in here?
I just stare at Cillian, my mouth slightly open, no words coming out. Why did I come in here, opening that strange door instead of fleeing Logan’s room entirely? I could have hidden with Ares, whose sexually charged behavior is at least predictable, or do the smartest thing and run back to the harem where no Alpha is permitted to follow without permission.
Instead, I came in here and I stayed.
Cillian’s harsh expression softens slightly as he studies my face. The ice in his eyes melts just enough to reveal something else beneath. Curiosity, maybe. Or just some form of unwilling understanding.
“Did you come looking for me?” he asks, voice quieter.
I open my mouth to deny it automatically. Of course I didn’t come looking for him. That would be ridiculous. But the words of denial stick in my throat
Maybe I didn’t mean to go looking for him, but I still haven’t left the room.
“Why are you here, Maya?” he softly asks.
“I don’t know,” I finally admit, instinctively wrapping my arms around myself despite the warmth of the room. “But I couldn’t stay in bed with him.”
Obviously, thehimin question doesn’t need to be spelled out.
Cillian pushes a hand through his pale hair with a sigh, making the strands stick up at a dozen different angles.
“It’s the bond,” he says, his mouth twisting like he’s tasted something bitter. “It pulls you toward your mate when you’re distressed. It’s just instinct. Not something you can help.”
The fact that he sounds as unhappy about it as I feel cools my anger a little. He didn’t ask for this either. The realization settles uncomfortably in my chest.
Looking at him more closely, I realize just how tired he looks. Dark shadows under his eyes are a sharp contrast to his pale skin.
“I hate it,” I whisper, and I’m not sure if I mean the bond, the situation, or all of it.
“Join the club,” he mutters, then looks up at me properly. His eyes track over my face, down to my bandaged hand, and then back up to my face. Whatever he something shifts in his expression. Not softening exactly, but opening, like a door cracking just enough to let in a sliver of light.
Without a word, he raises the edge of his blanket, creating a space beside him in the narrow bed.
I hesitate, staring at the offered spot. Every rational part of me screams to turn around, even if I can’t think of anywhere it makes sense to go. The thought of returning to my lonely harem jail cell after so many nights in the apartment feels considerably worse than this.
My feet move forward of their own accord. One step, then another. The bond tugs at something deep inside me, a primal need for comfort that overrides logic and pride.
The bed dips as I slide in beside him. It’s barely big enough for one person, let alone two, forcing us to lie close together. A welcoming heat radiates from his body. The clean sharpness of his scent floats around me like I’m relaxing into a cloud of it.
