Page 15 of Bonds of Pain
We lie there stiffly, not touching but close enough that I can feel each breath he takes. The silence stretches between us, taut as a wire.
“This is messed up,” I finally say, staring at the ceiling.
Cillian makes a sound that might be a laugh, though there’s no humor in it. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“I didn’t want any of this,” I say, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. “I didn’t want to be claimed by Logan. I didn’t want to bond with you. I just wanted...”
“Freedom,” he finishes for me, his voice so quiet I almost miss it.
I turn my head to look at him, surprised. His profile is sharp in the dim light, all angles and edges, but his expression is distant, almost wistful.
I find myself whispering, unwilling to break the fragile peace. “How did you know?”
He turns to meet my gaze, and for a moment, I see something in those ice-blue eyes that mirrors what I feel.
Trapped. Angry. Resigned.
“Because it’s what I wanted too.”
Chapter Five
CILLIAN
Ilie still, staring at the ceiling as I listen to Maya’s deep breathing.
Snoring, actually. I’ve never heard sounds this loud coming out of someone so small before. Adorable, but loud enough to peel the paint off the walls.
I might be bothered if I stood a chance of falling back asleep, but I’ve been wide awake since she cracked open my door and that isn’t likely to change.
Maya had fallen asleep practically within minutes of her head hitting the pillow. She had started out as far from me on the narrow bed as possible without falling off the edge, but has restlessly shifted closer.
Now, her head is like a weight at the center of my chest, and the rest of her body drapes across mine like I’m her personal body pillow.
Even Logan knows better than to violate the small amount of space I’ve claimed for my own. It’s always been my sanctuary, the one place I could retreat from my duties, from Logan’sdemands, from the constant pressure of publicly being the faithful beta attendant to a spoiled prince, and secretly his bonded Omega. No one has ever slept with me in this bed before.
I should hate it.
Maya somehow shifts even closer to me, throwing one leg over both my thighs as one hand grips my arm. Her long hair has not been tied up for sleep and seems to be everywhere at once. Strands of it catch in my mouth and tickle my nostrils, so I have to fight off an urge to sneeze.
My hand hovers over the top of her head. I wonder if her hair is as soft as it looks. Deciding not to think too deeply about the impulse, I lower my fingers, brushing against the silky strands. She sighs in her sleep, nuzzling closer.
“You’d be horrified if you knew what you were doing right now,” I murmur, allowing myself the smallest smile. “Cuddling up to the enemy.”
But are we enemies? We’re both victims of Logan’s selfishness, both trapped by bonds we never chose. The thought should comfort me, this common ground, but instead it twists something painful in my chest.
I trace the curve of her shoulder with my eyes, noting how perfectly she fits against me. Her body is soft where mine is hard, curved where mine is angular. The contrast is nicer than I expected it to be. Her bandaged hand rests against my ribs, another reminder of just how much we share.
Desperation is something I understand. I’ve lived with it for years.
A floorboard creaks on the other side of the door.
Speak of the devil.
My body tenses instantly, every sense on high alert. Years of training kick in before conscious thought can form. Logan is awake and about thirty seconds from tearing the apartmentapart in search of the Omega currently using me like an oversized stuffy.
The thought of him waking her up suddenly seems completely unacceptable.
I slide out from under Maya with practiced stealth, careful not to disturb her. She makes a small sound of protest as I ease her onto the pillow, her fingers briefly clenching before I gently pry them off. I tuck the blanket around her shoulders, waiting
