Page 17 of Bonds of Pain
Before that night with Ander, I felt entirely secure in my position at the palace, while recognizing I would never be truly safe.
Once I became Logan’s bonded Omega, I’d never been safer. He has already proven that he would kill to protect me
But I’ve never felt less secure.
Logan saved me from one nightmare only to trap me in another. His secret Omega. His hidden mate. The dirty little secret he keeps locked away while he paraded potential brides before the kingdom.
Culminating in the one who may actually become queen.
Maya.
Logan’s lips are a breath away from mine as my mind returns to the present. I can feel the pull of our bond, urging me to surrender, to accept whatever scraps of affection he deigns to offer.
At least a small part of me really wants to just give in.
I jerk my head back, narrowly avoiding Logan’s lips. His expression shifts instantly from desire to annoyance, golden eyes narrowing.
“I need to confirm your schedule for the day,” I say, ducking under his arm and stepping away. “Morning guard inspections have been moved an hour earlier, which interferes with your appointment with the palace communications director at ten. If you’ll excuse me.”
“Cillian,” Logan’s voice softens, becoming the gentle coaxing tone he uses when he wants something badly enough to pretend at kindness. “Just wait a minute.”
My hand freezes on the doorknob. The command washes over me and I feel that inexorable pull to obey. The bond between us pulses with his desire, his frustration, his absolute certainty that I’ll give in. Because I always do eventually.
But the bond with him isn’t my only one. Now that she’s asleep, Maya’s ability to maintain a metaphysical wall between us is weakened. It’s almost as if I can sink into her. I imagine myself sinking into a still pool, deeper and deeper, until my entire being is submerged and Logan becomes something distant and hazy.
His mouth moves. He speaks. But I can’t make out the words that sound like they’re coming to me from deep underwater.
I speak without turning back to look at him. If I do, it might not be possible for me to walk away again. “I’ll have everything confirmed before breakfast.”
I don’t wait for his response before slipping out the door.
In the hallway, I lean against the wall, letting out a shaky breath. Triumph is a dull sensation, tempered by awareness that Logan will find a way to make me pay for resisting him. My heart pounds against my ribs like it’s trying to escape my chest. I press the heels of my hands against my eyes, willing my body to calm down.
I know exactly what he’s doing. I’ve had years to study Logan’s tactics, to recognize the patterns of manipulation. I rejected him once and he withheld any trace of affection for months, barely affording me even common courtesy.
Now that he needs me, now that he thinks I’ve been firmly put in my place, the real war has begun. He will campaign for affection with the single-minded focus of a seasoned general on the battlefield.
Logan is a prince on an unstable throne, accustomed to both having whatever he wants and ruthlessly defending it against any potential challenge.
He obsesses. He covets. He holds onto the things he desires and refuses to ever let them go.
But none of that is the same as love.
The worst part is knowing all of this doesn’t stop my traitorous body from responding. Doesn’t stop the ache in my chest when he looks at me with those golden eyes. Doesn’t stop the way my skin burns for his touch.
Pathetic. So pathetic.
I push away from the wall and start walking, no destination in mind except away. Away from Logan, away from Maya, away from the tangled mess our lives have become.
Chapter Six
MAYA
When I finally wake up again, Cillian’s empty side of the bed has gone completely cold. Or more precisely, the narrow space he must have squeezed himself into during the night so we didn’t accidentally touch.
My hand reaches out, stroking over the cool sheets. He has tucked the bedding back under the mattress and straightened his pillow. I can only assume he would have made the entire bed if he could have accomplished the task with me still lying in it.
It’s a typical Omega instinct to want things neat and orderly. I wonder if he even knows that.
