Page 54 of On the Fly
“How long have you been here?” She nodded toward the front steps. Then she twisted out of his hold and pointed at the door, before walking up the steps. There was no reason to have any conversation on her front stoop, especially one that started with her in his arms. That had to be a good sign.
She held the door open for him to enter, then closed them within the quiet space. After making her way down the hall to her large open kitchen, she set her handbag on the counter. When Ander entered the room, she said, “Would you like a drink? All I’ve got is water right now…”
Ander nodded and sat on one of the stools on the other side of the large island.
“You didn’t answer my question before. How long have you been here?” She busied herself with filling their glasses with ice and water. As she set the glass in front of him, he looked up.
“I came by yesterday and that menace of a neighbor”—he rubbed his arm where Cara had poked him—“told me you’d be here today.” He blushed, something she’d not seen him do before. “I should have asked when. I’ve been here since nine this morning.”
Emma gasped, but before she could say anything, he waved his hand.
“I mean, I stuck a note to your door when I left to grab a bite at lunch, but the note was still there when I got back. I was starting to get worried.” He shook his head. “I don’t know how I fell asleep. Other than I haven’t slept well since you left.” He ran a hand through his hair. “God, I had this whole speech planned out and I can’t think of a single word of it.”
The last vestiges of her anger faded with his words and the pain etched in his features. But if he couldn’t find a way to talk to her, they were destined to fail.
“Why don’t you start with what made you send me away?”
He took a big drink of the ice water before setting it down on the island and drawing in a deep breath. “My father and I never got along, you know that. That letter you found in the safe…” He glanced up to meet her eyes and she nodded encouragingly.
“I’m such an idiot. I’m not sure I can accurately explain what made me act the way I did. I was on autopilot, proving some point. And I look back now and none of it made sense. I’ve re-read the letter and…” He cleared his throat. “My mom and Erik and Skye came by Friday night and, well, they’d call it an intervention, I’m sure.” His lips quirked up at the corners. “After that, I don’t know. I realized my relationship with my dad might not have been perfect, but I wonder if any of it was how I perceived it.” Ander waved his hand in the air. “Don’t get me wrong. I still think he’s a bastard, and I’m sure we’d be in an argument if he were standing here now. But maybe he supported me more than I realized? Maybe he cared more than I thought?”
Ander pushed off the stool to pace the length of the island.
“I’ve fought against his will for so long, that I’m not even sure my actions were what I wanted. They were just not what he wanted.”
“Okay, I still don’t see what that has to do with how you treated me.” Emma tried to read between the lines. She could see the pain the conversation about his father caused him, but she had to understand the role that played in his actions and how likely a repeat could be.
“Basically, he told me to step up and take care of the airline as if it were family, and that I was a cold-hearted person who needed to find love.” Ander put his hand over his heart and stepped closer to Emma, his eyes glistening. “But that’s the problem, right? I’m not a cold-hearted person…and Ifoundlove.” He held up his other hand when she started to speak. “No. I know it’s too soon. I get that, but I see it there. It’s hovering on the horizon, and it scares the shit out of me. I’ve been defiant of my father’s words since I was a teenager, so when he said to embrace love. Well…” Ander heaved a sigh. “God, Emma, I’m an ass. Please don’t let me have destroyed what we had starting between us. I want to see what it could grow into.”
Ander stared at her, pain radiating from him. Then he rounded the island and took both her hands in his. “I am so sorry I treated you so callously. You didn’t deserve it. I can only imagine what you felt when I shut you out—when I shut everyone out. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. And it’s the opposite of what I want for either of us. Please say you’ll give me a second chance.” He squeezed her hands and held eye contact, letting her see the truth of his words.
Emma couldn’t draw in a breath deep enough to speak. She opened and closed her mouth, shocked at his words and the power behind them. She’d moved through so many emotions since entering that plane destined for California. Her emotions about Ander had run the gamut as well—from irritation and annoyance, to pleasure and joy, and all the way back around to anger and hurt. But the one thing that hadn’t changed since she’d purposely ground her heel into his toe on the plane was the irrational connection pulling her toward him.
Initially he’d fascinated her, which had irritated her. Then, when she’d thought she had him figured out, he’d come to her rescue with the wedding. When she’d given in to his advances, the passion between them had flared so hot she’d melted into his arms.
She wanted to say yes now. She wanted to see where this took them, but he couldn’t act the way he had—not ever again. Her heart couldn’t take that. Trust couldn’t be rebuilt after another attack like that one. She broke eye contact with him to get her emotions under control, but she twisted her hands in his grip, so they were now palm to palm with Ander’s, their fingers threaded together.
“Ander…” She looked up at his sharp in-drawn breath. The tears in her eyes spilling over. “I want to see where this goes too. I do.”
He grinned and tried to pull her into his arms, but she held tight to his hands and laid them against his chest as a barrier between them.
“I need you to hear me, though. I won’t go through what I have this last week, wondering what went wrong. You crushed my heart with your coldness. I didn’t know how to respond, but”—she gave him a small grin—“I can promise you I won’t let you get away with anything remotely close to shutting me out again.”
He nodded eagerly and pulled her close to kiss the top of her head. “I learned a lot about myself this week. And most of it wasn’t great.”
She started to protest, but he shook their clasped hands to stop her words.
“I almost ruined the only thing that’s made me happy in more years than I care to count. I tossed it aside because I have unresolved issues with myfather. If I’d succeeded in driving you away, the only people I’m hurting are the two of us. If he thought I was callous or cold-hearted in business, I can’t change that. I’m not even sure I’d try. But when you walk into a room, my heart grows tenfold. I won’t lose that over some childhood drama that followed me right into adulthood no matter how hard and fast I ran.” Ander looked pointedly at her. “I’m getting off track. I want you to call me on my shit. But more than anything, I want to be the man you smile at like you did when we were together. I can’t promise to be perfect.” He gave her a smirk when she scoffed at that statement, but the twinkle had started to return to his eyes. “But I can promise that I’ll try, and that I won’t shut you out again. Can we start there?”
She nodded, her heart finally easing as she realized the full depth of the man standing before her. Not many people could admit they were wrong, understand why, and try to change it. No one was perfect, but that came darn close for her. She released his hands and put her arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him lightly on the lips. He draped his arms around her waist, anchoring her to him. “Yes, we can start there.”
“Thank God.” He leaned forward, devoured her with his lips, pouring every ounce of relief and desire she had for him back into her as they fed off each other. As he came up for air, he pushed her hair back from her face, and said, “I’m sorry you had to drive across country all by yourself.”
She rubbed her thumb over his furrowed brow. “No more apologies. We’re starting fresh. The drive back home helped me sort out some things.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I’m fairly certain if we’d had this conversation on Friday, it would have gone differently. You might even have left with a limp for your trouble.”
He snorted. “I’d have deserved it.”
“Yep.” When he quirked an eyebrow, she lost her composure and laughed. She did love teasing him. She ran her hands over his chest, reacquainting herself with his muscles. The dips and curves called to her. A glance to meet his gaze told her he’d felt the shift in energies between them too. They had some trust to rebuild, but that would take time. And now they had just that.
