Page 1 of Hunt for the Roses
The ivy-covered roof of the gazebo stares down at me as I lie in the middle of the rose garden. I think about how one moment, one single moment, can change everything. It changes how we feel, how we live, and the direction of our journey.
Some people are lucky enough to experience a moment that brings greater meaning to their life. A moment that brings joy, hope, and purpose. But what about those of us who aren’t so lucky? Those of us who experience a devastating moment that shatters our entire world. A moment that wreaks havoc on all of our hopes and dreams that once were.
It’s like that single moment morphs into invisible shackles around your wrists and you’re chained to the corner of a dark room. The door closes, and as your eyes adjust to the dimly lit space, you see the key to your shackles on the other side. It’s like that scrappy piece of metal represents the wonderful moments that were once within your reach.
At first, your instinct is to tug at the restraints with every ounce of strength you possess, even though you know your efforts are pointless. And as time goes on, you start to tire physically, and eventually your mental exhaustion catches up. At some point, you’re not tugging frantically at the restraints, but you’re embracing them. Accepting them as your fate and wardrobe accessory for life. Finally, you lay limp on the floor with your cheek flat against the cold concrete, and you stare at the door to the room. As time starts to slow down, you’re willing someone to walk through that door and pick up the key to release you. But when minutes turn to hours, and hours turn to days, despair starts to consume you and you forget what it ever felt like to live unchained.
These are the ripple effects of just one moment.
One moment that’s caged me for so long, it feels surreal to be lying flat on this wooden bench, surrounded by endless beauty. I can see hints of the starlit sky above, and I feel my lips tip up ever so slightly at the corners. I inhale as I turn to look toward the green rose pathway, keeping my eyes trained on the bold, green petals. Flashes of scenes from the past couple of months shine in my mind. Moments I thought I could never experience again.
And then I think ofhim.
I think of how his arms were wrapped around me as we danced under this very gazebo that night, savoring every second together. The images are so vivid, like the memories have been inked into my veins and forever etched into my soul. It was the first time we listened to our hearts instead of the sand pouring in our hourglass. Some would say you can’t hear the sand anyway, but when you’re on borrowed time, it’s the loudest sound of all. And if I had to relive that night again, I would make the same decision every single time.
Because that night, the door to my dark room finally opened.
Herepresents my liberation.
My salvation.
My key to freedom.
One Year Earlier - Friday, June 11, 2021
“Wooooo!” Kyle is cupping his mouth with his hands, making sure everyone in the karaoke bar can hear him cheer Kate and me on before we hit the microphones. Holding his gaze, I blow him a kiss with my hand, and he winks back at me.
Trent is sitting next to Kyle in the booth as he yells some inevitable nonsense. “Give us a good show, ladies!” Then Trent makes a gesture with his hands like he’s lifting his shirt up, implying that Kate and I should flash everyone.
Kate gives Trent a hard stare and flips him off from the stage we’re on. In reaction, Trent makes it like he’s catching Kate’s middle finger in his hand, and shoves his fist in his jeans pocket. Looking at their exchange, I can’t help but laugh as my hand goes to my forehead.
“We got the dollar bills ready!” Dane yells as he waves a few dollar bills at us.
I roll my eyes and turn to Kate. “I seriously can’t with them,” I say as I grab a microphone from one of the stands in front of us.
Kate grabs her microphone and talks into it as she points to where the boys are sitting. “This song is going to be dedicated to the gentlemen in the booth over there. The blond one is Aria’s boyfriend,” she says as she hikes a thumb over to me, and then she points between Trent and Dane. “And the other two gentlemen have just started a relationship together. Sorry ladies, if you were thinking of taking one of them home, they’re off limits.”
I put a hand over my mouth as I chuckle, and Kate just winks at the boys in the booth. Dane and Trent are good sports, and play along by toasting with their beer glasses as if they are actually celebrating being a couple.
As Kate and I are laughing, the man running the karaoke asks if we are ready to start the song, and we both turn around to give a thumbs up. We start to hear the instrumental introduction to “Come to My Window” by Melissa Etheridge, and Kate and I start side stepping as we sway to the music. One thing about the two of us is we never miss our chance to dance and live through music when we go out. It’s honestly our greatest pastime, and not for nothing, we’re pretty good at it if I do say so myself.
When the first verse of the song kicks in, the microphones immediately go up to our mouths, and we stare intently at our audience like we’re putting on a real concert. Along with our dancing ability, Kate and I are decent singers given the right song, so naturally we chose a song we can sing pretty well in tune.
As we start singing, people in the crowd become more vocal and receptive to us, which encourages us to really sell this karaoke. When the pre-chorus kicks in, Kate and I face each other to sing through it, and then once the chorus finally kicks in, we’re standing back-to-back as we wave our arms in the air and sway our hips in sync with each other.
“Owwwwww!” We hear Kyle, Trent and Dane screaming for us from their booth, and Kate and I turn to face each other again as we laugh before the next verse comes on. Given the fact that both of us had two cocktails before singing, Kate and I feel like absolute superstars up here, so to put it simply, we’re having the time of our lives.
We repeat the same routine for the next verse and pre-chorus, but as we’re singing “Just to reach you,” I start to point to Kyle from the stage. Kyle throws me a wide smile, and I return the favor his way. Kate and I belt out the chorus a little harder, knowing our favorite parts of the song are just around the corner. We dramatize our motions as we bend our knees and tilt our heads up, both of us raising an arm in the air as we hold out the note to sing the line “Anyway.”
Finally, we shake our heads eagerly side to side as we sing through the last pre-chorus, and we’re smiling, giggling, and giving it all we have for the home stretch. The crowd erupts in applause, and as expected, we hear Kyle, Trent, and Dane over everyone.
“Work it, babe!” Kyle yells.
“When’s the World Tour?!” Trent shouts.
“Sign my ass!” Dane hollers.
Kate and I are laughing as we put the microphones back on the stands and step down off the wooden stage to head to the booth where the guys are. Trent gets up so I can slide in next to Kyle, and Kate slides next to Dane, who’s sitting across from the three of us. Kyle brings me in for a tight side-hug as he kisses my forehead, and before the five of us even start conversation, a waiter comes over to our booth with two sex on the beaches. “On the house, ladies.”
