Page 13 of Hunt for the Roses
The dark cloud that was hovering over my heart before is here to stay. I pause my movements, like I’m frozen in time. My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach, and I feel like I’m going to vomit as my breathing starts to become erratic, and tears threaten to trickle out of my eyes.
Tragedy is knocking, and I know once I answer the door, there is no turning back.
Monday, June 21, 2021
“There’s been an accident.”
Four words that shattered my entire world in two seconds.
A four-car pile-up on the main highway and t-boned on the driver’s side, Kyle’s injuries are severe and critical. I’m in a trance while I’m sitting in the hospital waiting area, praying with every cell of my being that Kyle makes it through this. The policeman who came knocking at my door drove me to the hospital that Kyle was taken to after the car crash. I have my forearms crossed across my stomach as I’m doubled over, clutching to the sleeves of my sweatshirt hoodie, like I’m clinging on for dear life.
Kyle’s life.
Dane is in the chair next to me. He came outside his house when the cop showed up in front of mine and followed us to the hospital. His elbow is on one knee with his head in his hand, while his other hand is on my shoulder to just let me know he’s there for me. I called my parents, and Dane called Kyle’s parents, as well as Trent and Kate.
When my parents come through the hospital waiting room doors, they spot me right away. I jump up and throw my arms around my mom who’s already holding her arms out to me. I fall apart as I wrap a vice grip around her, tears freely running down my cheeks as she hugs me back as tightly as she can.
“He’s going to be okay, shh,” my mom whispers as she strokes her fingers through my hair.
“He can’t leave me, Mom. He can’t,” I sob profusely into her chest.
My mom continues to comfort me with her touch, as my dad embraces me from behind. Kate and Trent rush around my parents and I, seemingly just entering the waiting room, and I notice Dane starts to crowd around us as well.
“Any news?” Trent cuts in while looking frantically back and forth between my parents and Dane.
“Not yet,” Dane answers, and I don’t miss the hint of fear etched in his voice.
“How long has he been in there?” Kate asks.
Just as Kate asks her question, Dr. Kline comes out of a set of double doors and heads our way, and we all stand up straight to face him.
Dr. Kline purses his lips as he says the next words that crumble my entire existence.
“I’m very sorry. He didn’t make it.”
I grab my mom’s arm and fall down to the ground as she tries to soften my fall with her body. Everyone closes in around me as everything goes black.
Tonight, my wrists were shackled to the corner of a dark room.
A room that is my new home.
My new reality.
Sunday, June 27, 2021
My plans for this weekend were that of any average twenty-six-year-old–kick back with good friends and make everlasting memories. Instead, I’m sitting here in a black suit and tie, watching Kyle’s casket be lowered into the ground.
I’m hollow. Empty. Like a piece of my heart has been gouged out, and the blood pumping through my veins is no longer rhythmic. Even though I’m witnessing Kyle’s burial right in front of my eyes, it doesn’t seem real. I’m thinking any minute, someone is going to pinch me from this nightmare. Any minute, I’m going to wake up in a cold sweat in my bed.
But this isn’t a nightmare.
It’s real.
And it’s the toughest reality I’ve ever had to accept.
I’m looking around me in a trance-like state as the priest speaks above the somberness. I look to my side to Kate and Trent. Kate’s cheeks have tears streaming down them, and Trent is fighting back tears of his own. My eyes go to Aria sitting between her mom and Kyle’s mom. She’s tightly holding both their hands on either side of her, and she mirrors my trance-like state. She looks like the shell of the person she once was. Just a shadow. Ronnie and her father sit behind her, and Ronnie has his hand propped on Aria’s shoulder to silently express his support.
I take a deep breath as I draw my attention back to the priest who is speaking. I’m trying to find some solace in the words he’s saying, but the meaning of his words fail me. I can’t process the senselessness of all of this.
