Page 58 of Hunt for the Roses
“You’re correct. You’re actually the last person I want to see right now,” I confirm.
“Look, I know I’ve said some really shitty things to you, and I wish I could take them back, but I can’t. So all that’s left for me to do is apologize to you, and if you give me the chance to explain, we can move past this.”
I narrow my eyes, ignoring his apology. “How could you treat me like that?”
Dane peeks out the windows of the restaurant to make sure Ronnie is still occupied talking on the phone, and then he turns to look at me. “Ari, I’ve been thinking a lot about us and how close we’ve become,” he says before running a hand through his hair. “I think I had a moment of weakness that made mejealous.Curious.” When I open my mouth to respond, Dane puts a hand out. “A moment that is now fleeting. I’m not going to act on it or say anything else that might make you uncomfortable. I promise you that because I know what’s at stake here. So just tell me what I need to do.”
I swallow as I just stare into Dane’s eyes for a few moments. I can feel the sincerity of his words from his tone and facial expression, and I don’t doubt that he is sorry. As relieved as I am when he says his moment of weakness is fleeting, I also feel a tinge of disappointment. And I’m not entirely sure where that disappointment stems from. Does it stem from the fact that Dane’s moment of weakness was just about wanting to have sex with me? Or does it stem from the fact that he’s not going to try and pursue me anymore? Not that he was “pursuing” me, but he definitely challenged me in ways I haven’t been tested before. If there is one thing I know for sure, it’s that Dane isdifferent. He thrills me and he pushes me. I’m not quite sure if I want to put out the fire that’s burned between us recently. Instead, I think I may want to fuel it. But now that Dane’s pulling back, am I still going to feel that delicious burn?
Once these questions flood into my mind, I realize that the answers to them don’t matter because our circumstances don’t permit us to be together. And if Dane and I were to be anything other than friends, my life would rumble into instant chaos. Naturally, everything will go back to how it once was, and all of this will be a mere afterthought.
Great.
But why does that sadden me?
I swallow a lump in my throat before speaking. “I just want things to go back to the way they were.”
“Done,” Dane says.
I’m a little surprised at Dane’s submission and am reluctant before responding back.
Aria, what exactly is the problem here?
“Great,” I finally say.
Both of our heads turn toward Ronnie’s walking form, and then we both make eye contact with each other again. Dane throws me a small smile before bending down to grab a light fixture out of one of the boxes he opened, and he and Ronnie get to work.
* * *
For my date with Blake, I chose to wear a ruched off-the-shoulder floral dress where the hem hits mid-thigh, and I’ve paired it with nude strappy sandals. My hair is down in beach waves, and I’ve applied a soft shade of pink to my lips, along with the usual natural eyeshadow and black mascara.
“Two for two so far? What do you think?” Blake says as he shines a smile my way. Blake and I are strolling along the pier after having dinner at an Italian restaurant.
I smile as I look at him. “I’d say so. The live music last week was great, and that shrimp scampi tonight was probably some of the best I’ve had.”
Blake touches his chin as if he’s considering something. “Okay, live music and shrimp scampi. Noted.”
“Don’t forget doughnuts are the key to happiness.”
“Is that what they say?” Blake teases.
I shrug. “That's what I say.”
“Then we should probably get doughnuts once we’re off this pier,” Blake replies.
I smile at him, then take in the beautiful night view from the pier. I start to walk toward the wood railing to overlook the beach, and just watch the waves as Blake comes next to me. Everything feelsserene. It’s nice.
“Uh oh, am I that boring?” Blake says.
I softly laugh as I shake my head. “No, I just love watching the waves. People.Life.” I’m staring out in wonderment, and although I’m on this date with Blake and I like him, I still don’t feelitwith him. I start to wonder if I will ever have that feeling again.
Hunger.
Desire.
Passion.
“What’re you thinking about?” Blake asks.
