Page 63 of Hunt for the Roses
Mint and cinnamon invade my senses, and all I can do is flutter my eyes closed and place a kiss exactly where Dane’s lips were two seconds ago. The warmth between my legs transforms to liquid heat as the tip of my tongue grazes my skin, and tasting the evidence of Dane’s kiss only makes me want to devour him whole.
Like a lion hunting a gazelle.
“How do I taste?” he whispers.
I exhale against my fingers as I open my eyes and respond with the most honest answer I can think of. “Like you can ruin me,” I whisper.
Dane’s eyes are glued to mine as he releases my fingers to gently drag my bottom lip down with his thumb, and I instinctively wrap my hand around his wrist. The tension is palpable, and I can practically see the frayed moral thread between us that’s preventing us from closing the distance. The sound of my heartbeat drums in my ear as my breaths become desperate against Dane’s thumb, and I know that if he says one more word, the thread that keeps us apart will finally snap.
“Tell me to,” he says.
The thread splits in two.
“Shatter me.”
Dane’s large hand engulfs the side of my face, pulling my mouth to his, and when our lips collide, I feel color seep into my veins. We part our lips at the same time to deepen the kiss, and Dane’s velvety tongue dips into my mouth, teasing my own with every expert stroke he makes. His lips are pillowy, soft, andmadeto do this, but his kiss is intoxicating and poisonous. Like I know I shouldn’t be drinking from the glass he’s handed to me, but I’m too stubborn to think that the liquid will destroy me. Both my hands firmly lace around Dane’s neck and into his hair, refusing to let go as our tongues fall into a slow, sensual dance. Our stifled moans fuse together as our bodies mold into one another, and our lips interlock in quicker, more fervent movements. Dane’s palm at the side of my face wraps to the back of my head so he can weave his fingers in my hair and angle my head right where he wants me. His touch is mixed with tenderness and dominance all in one, and it’s like I’m his possession toworship.
His kiss isout-of-this-world.
But just as I’m taking in the rapture of this moment, the sound of ambulance and firetruck sirens blare in the distance and catapults me from the lust-filled haze I’ve been lost in. The color drains from my veins, and the currents are now streams of icy water that freeze my heart. I slouch my body away from Dane’s as I look off to the side with one palm covering my mouth.
What am I doing?
This is Dane.
I wipe my palm down my lips, as if to physically erase our kiss and any evidence of the last minute.
“Ari.” Dane’s hard tone interrupts my thoughts from my peripheral vision.
I don’t risk a look at him as I swing my leg from around Dane’s thigh and sit next to Dane on the hood of his car. I re-adjust my cardigan by pulling it back over my shoulders, as I say, “Please don’t make this more difficult.”
I hear Dane sigh a frustrated laugh. “I can’t believe this.” At my side, I see his face turn to look at me. “So was this your plan tonight?”
I turn to look at him through squinted eyes. “What?”
Dane has his elbows propped up on his bent knees as he gestures vaguely with his hands in between his legs. “Come to me for some instant gratification, only to have a moral dilemma once we’re all over each other and caught up in an incredible moment. Because if so, that’s a really shitty plan.”
“I didn’t come to you with the intention of any of this happening,” I say as I shake my head.
Dane raises his eyebrows to challenge me. “No? It seemed pretty convenient for you to run to me after your lackluster date tonight.”
“I came to you as afriend. But it’s clear that was the wrong decision.”
“It was the wrong decision,” Dane retorts. My mouth parts slightly at his harsh admission and tone, but when words don’t leave my mouth, Dane continues on. “I don’t think I’m really cut out for the ‘friend’ role when it comes to you.”
I swallow thickly as I hold his gaze, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. “I’m not going to sleep with you just because you want to fulfill some sexual conquest,” I retort.
Dane exhales a laugh as he turns his head away from me and looks out at the water. “That’s the worst part about it. I don’t want you for just one night.”
I stare at Dane as the weight of his words register in my brain. I feel like I’m suffocating from the overwhelming emotions that crash over me, like a tidal wave wiping out any happiness or clarity I once had about mine and Dane’s relationship. Those feelings are now replaced with confusion, fear, and guilt. Feelings that I want no part of, especially after the strides I’ve made this past year. No matter how Dane or I feel about one another, it doesn’t change the fact that we could never become anything more than friends.
“We made a mistake tonight,” I say, my voice just above a whisper.
Dane shakes his head at me. “I don’t believe you,” he says confidently, like he can see right through me. I narrow my eyes when Dane challenges me and calls my bluff, but he elaborates anyway. “If you can look me in the eyes, and honestly say you felt nothing for me while I was touching and kissing you, then I’ll take you home right now. No questions asked.”
I open my mouth to say something, but quickly change my mind because I know I’ll give myself away if I try to avoid answering his question. Dane’s trying to get me to admit that I enjoyed kissing him, and that there are mutual feelings between us. But the harsh reality is that none of that matters. The only thing that matters is what is right and what is wrong, and I’m the one that has to live with my conscience the rest of my life.
I decide I’d rather live with a conscience that is free of guilt than one that is plagued with regret. “I felt nothing.”
